Saturday, March 12, 2016

10 Years Without Ellen

Today is the tenth anniversary of my sister Ellen's death. Here she is in 2002, flanked by me and my sister Jayne, in the front doorway at my Dad's house.

Like last year, the date sort of sneaked up on me. I feel like the survivor's guilt I experienced for a long time has abated. I'm no longer dreading the day for the week leading up to it. I miss my little sister, but I'm not... angry. I don't hate myself any more for living while she's not here. At least, I don't this year. And I didn't last year.

Like I said last year: I don't want this date to be about how sad I am. I want it to be about remembering her and acknowledging how much I miss her. I can do that without making myself feel like I don't deserve to be here. I'm not sure I do, but... well, shit, I have to make room for other people, they can make room for me.

I miss you, Ellen. I loved being your big brother. And I always will.

Monday, March 07, 2016

Muppet Monday

This is a fun sketch from the March 19, 1966, episode of The Hollywood Palace. I think this must be the first appearance of a Snerf.

Sunday, March 06, 2016

Song of the Week: "Runnin' for Your Lovin'"

I haven't been listening to enough funky soul lately. The Brothers Johnson, 1977.