Sunday, November 13, 2016

Song of the Week: "Everybody Knows"

Well... shit. First Clown Hitler wins the election, and then Leonard Cohen dies, so it's been one hell of a shitty, shitty, shitty shit week. I had a bit of a panic attack on Tuesday night; my wife had a real panic attack a few days ago. This is a lot of adjustment, and I feel really hollowed out right now, which is why I haven't really been posting and just distracting myself with Tumblr and television. Everything seems so damn frivolous now, in a new America of emboldened hate. All of my black friends, gay friends, Muslim friends, trans friends, every woman I know, every poor person I know... I'm so fucking pissed off. The thing I despise the most, bullying, is being enshrined as governance. It's being paired with ignorance and called a plan for the future. On the other hand, I'm handling it better than my wife, because part of my depression is just always expecting the worst. And the worst happened. And it will get worse. And I don't want to hear about it from anyone.

And then 2016, which took Bowie and Prince, takes another musical genius. Rest in peace, Leonard. I know you were sick for some time, but you got out while the getting was good--something I contemplated myself very seriously on Tuesday night.

Fuck this species. I'm rooting for its destruction. They don't care, so why should I?

This song seemed appropriate.

2 comments:

MC said...

It is the song I thought of immediately when I heard he passed away.



I understand the panic, the dread, the anxiety.

I remember Tuesday night on twitter, laughing about a sad looking cake of Trump...

...and then the results started coming in...

...that a senator that was supposed to win to help Hillary get a hold of the Senate...

...that North Carolina and Florida, states leaning blue in the final days were lost and it was going to be a long night....

...and then other states were looking dicey but there was still Michigan, but that started to look bad...

...WHAT DO YOU MEAN WISCONSIN IS TOO CLOSE TO CALL--she was up by 6.5 points going into the night... how is that possible... that was a solid blue state on every polling map... it wasn't even close to being a toss-up... WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

And I said, ok, well, there's 2018... and then I read something stupid Corey Lewan-whateverthefuckthatFUCKSTICKS last name is about Trump's honesty and I snapped. I goddamn fucking snapped.

I have not stopped swearing since. Mostly it is one of the following:

1. Oh shit!
2. Fuck
3. WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK
4. No. Not that fucking asshole. (I have a feeling that one will be used a lot more in the near future)
5. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS SHIT IS NORMAL... THAT ANY OF THIS IS NORMAL *head in hands*

and the old classic

6. You've got to be fucking kidding me with this shit.

I wish I could say I've had a good night's sleep since Tuesday, but I'm cycling between super tense anxiety and emotional exhaustion. I prefer the latter.

*sigh* Goddammit... fuck.

Roger Owen Green said...

I've been exhausted since last Tuesday night. Gwen Ifill's death made me sob for 20 minutes.