Monday, October 31, 2016

At Last, This Year's Jack-O-Lantern

I decided to get myself a little pumpkin this year and paint a somewhat uncertain face on him. Look, it's been a rough year, a really rough one, and my anxiety has been shooting up A LOT. So, what they hey. Why not paint the pumpkin to reflect my "No, everything's fine, but shit, what if it isn't?" feelings. That way, he can do the worrying for a while and I'll just try to relax and enjoy my Halloween over here.

I feel like this year has been a little truncated. Not as many TV channels and shows embraced Halloween this year, and the general online excitement seemed to peter out weeks ago. This is why I wait until October 1st to start celebrating; almost all of my Tumblr-mates who started celebrating in August (or even late July) seemed to just get tired of it. So the last two weeks have felt somehow after-the-fact.

Oh, well. It's still Halloween, it's just not a big to-do this year. What's important is I spent it with the woman I love. And also I didn't keel over from daily anxiety attacks.

So anyway, this little guy is Jake Factitious. He's scared, but he's trying. He doesn't want to scare anyone, he just wants a little balance in his life and maybe less confrontation (though, to be fair, he has a problem where he tends to read directness as aggression). He's just going to be taking it easy tonight and eat some candy. He's not sad, exactly, but he's a little fragile and just wants to have some time off. But don't read him wrong; even though he's pretty introverted, he's not a pitiable figure. He may be going through a depressing chapter right now, but his is not a depressing story.

You're doing alright, Jake. Welcome to the family.

Happy Halloween!

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