Sunday, June 12, 2016

Song of the Week: "Do You Realize??"

I don't have anything coherent to say right now about the tragic hate crime in Orlando. I can't stand to see this happen. I can't stand to see anyone hurt simply for being who they are, and this... this makes me so angry I can't think straight. What the fuck, America, seriously? Is this just who we are now? I have this grief anxiety that I get when something makes me so angry that I can't even think or feel things. It happens every couple of years. It comes with chest pains and a sense of deep disconnect with this planet.

This song is a go-to for me when I don't have any idea how to process. It was the first song that played on the car radio after I heard my sister Ellen died in 2006. It's a beautiful melody, and it makes me feel... eventually it makes me feel peaceful even if it isn't profound. I don't want to feel profundity. I want to feel nothing.

2 comments:

Keir said...

Watched the game between England and Russia with my 5 year old son. At halftime came scenes of horrific violence which shocked my little guy. Yesterday another game stopped to report the horror at Orlando. I tried to get his eyes away from the screen but he couldn't stop watching, asking "Daddy where is that?"

SamuraiFrog said...

Damn, that's rough. When I was a kid and we'd see something like that on the news, I always thought it must be nearby, because your world isn't that big when you're little. I always remember that the San Ysidro massacre at McDonald's happened the day after my 8th birthday. Hearing about it on the news, I was convinced that it happened at the McDonald's near my house that my Dad and I went to on Saturday mornings. So shocking and sad.