Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Z Is for Zen

I try a little each day. I try to sit and be and listen and breathe and not judge. I bake and I hum and I pet my rabbit and sometimes I cry. But I feel and sometimes I'm aware.

My new therapist made me admit that I'm a person, and that I'm worthy, and it was surprisingly hard to say all of that. My whole being fought against it. Maybe now some of these walls will get torn down and I can start healing from a lot of the damage I've let build up inside of me.

I wanted to end my first round of ABC Wednesday with something hopeful. But I'd rather end it with just one declaration: I am. I exist in the world the same way everyone else does. I have to make room in the world for other people. They have to make room for me too. I know I am a worthy person because I'm kind, caring, and compassionate. I am loved by other people.

Not believing in anything I just sit,
listening to my breathing
After thirty years
It still goes in and out.
-- Albert Coelho

5 comments:

Roger Owen Green said...

Yes, you are worthy. Hope you never forget that.
And the problem with the affirmations is that it starts to sound like Stuart Smalley, but they're no less true for that.

Reader Wil said...

You are here for a purpose and you are worth a lot . Every body feels unhappy or not understood by the people around him or her from time to time. That's a challenge we all have to deal with.
Good luck! Have a great, happy week! We hope to see you in the next round!
Wil, ABCW Team.

photowannabe said...

You ARE!

Hope you will be around for another ABC Wednesday.
It's a great way to be in touch with others and yourself.

Leslie: said...

As the Brits would say, "Well done, YOU!" I'm so happy you came along on our ride here at ABCW and hope you will continue. I look forward to your posts and particularly like this one - love the frog on the rock! We all feel alone and worthless at times, but just keep repeating your personal mantra and one day you will look in the mirror and say, "I believe!"

Leslie
abcw team

Autumn said...

I'm glad you have found time for peace and it looks like you are moving forward with yourself, which is so wonderful! I look forward to reading more about your positive moments, they are so nice to see.