Friday, July 19, 2013

Another Great Example of Why I Ultimately Feel So Helpless

I was looking at this story about how Republicans are "tackling" SNAP benefits, basically by trying to cut food stamps down. In fact, the GOP seems to be divided on just how much to cut. Oh, they're going to get their cut to SNAP, but they just haven't decided yet how deep it should be. The amendment they're trying to add to the farm bill cuts it by 3 percent. Some Republicans think that's not enough.

Seriously, it's a fucking recession. There is massive unemployment. And the GOP thinks this is the perfect time to place work requirements on access to food. To food, for fuck's sake. Sure, unemployment is rampant, but let's attach food access to how much someone works.

Fuck. You.

Fuck.

You.

I am on food stamps. I am dependent on those benefits.

I already don't get health care. The company my wife worked for went out of business a couple of years ago. She got no severance from it. She now works three part time jobs. I barely work at all because of a fucking mental illness. And we long ago used up our unemployment insurance. I'm very lucky to not have to pay for the state mental treatment program I'm in, otherwise I'd be a basket case or dead by now. I can't go to the doctor unless I save up the $90 payment just to get in that place, and when I do, I'm treated like a criminal. Like I'm trying to get something for nothing by not having insurance. My credit cards are maxed out. I am drowning in over $50,000 of student loan debt that I won't be able to put off much longer and will probably never be able to pay back. Given everything that's happened to me in the past 8 years, I absolutely wish I had never gone to college in the first place.

I just feel like there's no support for me because, according to a certain amount of lawmakers, I am some kind of criminal, some kind of lazy sponge who made the "choice" to be poor. They've taken everything they can from me, and now they want to pass new laws to take more.

Why does my government despise me so much for having, through no choice of my own, to be poor in the midst of a shitty economy their policies created?

I'm not saying this to be dramatic: sometimes it honestly feels like Republicans are just openly trying to kill us off because our mere existence offends them.

I used to say I was one illness away from losing everything. I feel like I'm past that point now. Last Friday, we had an unexpected $48 expense. That small an amount of money nearly put us in the red for the week. Without SNAP, we might not have eaten. My Dad gave me some money. Otherwise... who knows?

Do you see why I sometimes think suicide is all but inevitable?

I feel like, one day, I won't have any other choice.

I hate this fucking country.

5 comments:

Chicago Erratic said...

Wow.

At some point, there is going to be a huge wall of "yous" just... reacting collectively to this.

That's... that's gonna be something. That's what that is gonna be.

Chicago Erratic said...

Seriously, my point is "why isn't there a larger group of people organizing to fix this"?

You're really not alone in your circumstance. Piles of people are drowning in debt and can only find part time jobs.

So... that also gives you a reason for a smile. They can't come f*** all of you, can they? :-)

Tallulah Morehead said...

Not to put too fine a point on it, Republicans are greedy swine, subhuman shit, flaming assholes who worship at the alter of that supremely evil, selfish, hypocritical cunt Ayn Rand.

Roger Owen Green said...

Some people are evil. And, ironically, given their false piety, unchristian.

Kelly Sedinger said...

Our society is increasingly heartless and broken. I really worry about how bad things are going to have to get for most before we finally give up our sickening blend of puritanical Libertarianism. For things to be like this in the wealthiest country in the history of the world is utterly immoral.