Friday, January 13, 2012

Random Thoughts

It's hilarious to me that the media is still trying to force us to believe that the Iowa Caucus means anything. "The people have spoken," Mittens? If you meant 5% of the 20% of all eligible voters of a single state who gave you a .0006% margin of victory over Santorum, then yeah, hey, loud and clear. I mean, sure, it's going to be Mitt who loses to Obama but, really, who cares? They're all the same idiot with different (white) faces.

I'm just so sick of people running on the fact that they hate gay people and black people and poor people and, weirdly in Newt Gingrich's case, janitors. Was he molested by a janitor as a child? He fervently fucking hates janitors.

Stop running on hate and come up with some fucking ideas. Clearly the biggest problem in this country is not gay people marrying or children learning evolution, and if you think it is, you should absolutely not be in fucking office.

:: Wait, so Paula Deen has Type 2 Diabetes? And she's been telling everyone for years that it's okay to eat the garbage she makes? And she's waiting to make the official announcement until her endorsement deal with the pharmaceutical company that makes her diabetes medication is finalized? Hey, Paula Deen: fuck you! I mean, thank you for confirming everything I've been telling my mother about you for years--as if you needed someone to tell you that anyone who says it's okay to eat a burger with a donut instead of a bun is a fucking idiot (and thank god my mom never ate that shit)--but seriously, you opportunistic asshole, fuck you!

:: Congressman who wrote SOPA is violating a copyright. Everyone's an idiot.

:: David O. Russell is a creepy fuck. Also, blaming the victim? Another dude with Entitled White Guy Syndrome.

:: I hate when someone overweight loses some weight and then makes fun of other people for being overweight. Seriously, Kelly Osbourne? Calling Christina Aguilera fat? Wow, you're a cunt. Also, why is anyone talking about anything that Kelly Osbourne says? Slow post-holiday news?

:: I was kind of sad at first to hear that Hostess filed for Chapter 11, but then I realized that I hadn't eaten a Hostess product in a long, long time. Oh, well. If they go under this time, someone else will probably make Twinkies. Or not. It's really the nostalgia factor; there goes another thing I loved as a kid. I'll live. I loved them too much as a kid, anyway.

Wow, for some reason I really want a Little Debbie Nutty Bar right now, though...

:: Austerity is killing the Greek economy. It's hurting the German economy, too. Only a liar or an idiot would argue that austerity is good for the economy. We have a lot of liars and idiots in Congress willing to force America into further disaster. I don't even understand it, anymore, but like I said last year, I've given up on this country ever making good decisions.

:: Beyonce and Jay-Z... seriously? It's a baby, not the crown jewels. Ease up on the security and maybe, you know, let other people see their newborns. The world is not just you. And rich people wonder why we hate them so damn much... It's not jealousy, trust me. It's that you think the entire world is there to serve your tacky whims.

That is literally all I need from Beyonce. Just because she has a nice ass doesn't mean I have to take her seriously as an artist, person, or, ugh, celebrity.

:: For all of the demented, stupid things going on in the Twilight series, I never even considered the stupidity of a vampire baby. It really is the cherry on top of the sundae of stupid. Either that or Jacob falling in love with said baby, that's pretty fuckin' dumb, too.

:: I finished season 5 of Voyager and loved it more than any previous season. I'll get that post up in the next couple of days. I've already started season 6 and I'm really enjoying that one, too. So, much like my beloved Deep Space Nine, season 4 was a hiccup.

:: "Homophobia: the fear that gay men will treat you the way you treat women." -- Coyote Too

:: Kim Kardashian was replaced in the Skechers ads by a very cute dog. It begins. After Kim's whole fake marriage and divorce thing, I think that family reached way, waaaaay to far. Eat the rich.

:: Groo vs. Conan is coming. For reals. I am tremendously excited.

:: No, "chink in the armor" is not a racist phrase.

:: I saw a guy who described himself as a gay Republican ranting on Tumblr yesterday about how Democrats who insisted that someone gay and Republican had sold out their civil rights interests in order to protect their investment returns were brainwashed assholes. Mice rooting for the cats.

:: Scott Walker billboard brags about job creation…directly in front of a shuttered GM factory that sent 10,000 people to the unemployment line. Also, Rick Perry tried to call on a mannequin during a Q&A. (UPDATE 4:57PM: Apparently Perry was joking, one mannequin to another.)


:: Really we should just tax capital gains as income. Just saying. That noise about how it would cut down on investments is merely noise.

:: I will no longer be talking to Ron Paul supporters about Ron Paul. Paulites are like ultra-conservatives who believe in magic. Or they're just dumbass college kids who want marijuana legalized enough to not pay attention to the monstrous amount of racism and sexism this man spouts. I'm done with them. "Educate yourself" they always tell me. I have no choice but to assume this is meant as irony.

:: Also, someone needs to tell Herman Cain that it's past time to stop talking. No one is going to take your opinion of how a candidate's sexual activities shouldn't enter into politics seriously: you're a philanderer! We all know what you're really talking about! Jesus, did you actually think you were going to really ever be the president?

:: Another minute closer on the Doomsday Clock. Yup. I think the GOP debates deserved at least another minute closer. We're like a farce about a country that used to work.


Tallulah Morehead said...

"No, 'chink in the armor' is not a racist phrase."

Well, it is if you're using it to describe a Samurai warrior. You, of all Frogs, should know that. It would also be an igonorant racist phrase since, of course, a Samurai Warrior would be a "Nip in the Armour," not a "chink".

Wait, could that idiot pizza clerk have meant she had small dents or holes in her orbs when he called the woman "Lady Chinky Eyes" on her receipt?

Is Herman Cain still talking? I haven't seen any reporting on him since he dropped out of the race. John Huntsman is getting more press than Cain, and people still have no idea who he is. "The OTHER Mormon."

But clearly Cain DID really believe he would be president. Cain has made it obvious that he is one of those people who think their own personal force can shape reality. he wants it; he gets it, he said it; therefore it is now true, even if it isn't. This may be the first failure he's ever had, and he's actually, literally, bewildered by it. He never thought he could fail at anything, that he could always get away with whatever he wanted to. His wife has put up with his philandering for decades, so why not America? He may believe she didn't know about it, but I'm not that stupid.

It apparently never crossed his mind that anyone would actually thoroughly vet him, which shows his naivete, or else that he'd been so foxy they'd never find out, also naivete.

This is a profoundly blinkered, stupid, and naive man. His success at busness (something that merely requires ruthlessness and single-mindedness, with some canny treachery, but not actual intelligence) led him to mistakenly believe he was infallible, and that his profound ignorance wouldn't matter. That's the really amazing part, not that he is ignorant, but that he thought his ignorance DIDN'T MATTER WHEN RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

After all, it wasn't actually his infedelities that ended his campaign, Newt campaigns on, and his infedelities are legendary; it was his getting caught lying about them that did him in, and he doesn't even realize that, because he's one of those people that believes that if he's said it, than it isn't a lie, even if it was, that Reality is whatever he says it is.

But let's say he didn't get caught in his lies, let's say he wasn't a cheater at all; he was still unelectable, and has been ever since he said: "whoever is president of Uzbeki-beki-stan-stan." Yes, many ignorant yahoos among the conservatives (which is always where you'll find them) like the idea of a president who is as stupid and ignorant as they are, but not enough Americans to get you elected.

Most American voters, liberal, conservative, or wishy-washy, understand that a president needs to be someone who actually knows not only who the other world leaders are, but what the other countries on earth are, that foreign policy involves highly complex issues and factors, and that a man who says: "I'll ask the experts and then do what they say to do" as his defense against his total ignorance about anything other than wringing a profit from pizza-hocking is a moron we can not have in the White House.

Tallulah Morehead said...

(To continue)

Cain has the common right-wing error of believing that governemnts can be run like businesses, which they can not be. Governments are not businesses, and are not run to make a profit. It's the Meg Wylie Syndrome. She tried her damndest to get herself elected Governor of California on the platform of running the state like a business. The Californians who did agree with her on that insane idea also noticed that she'd run several businesses into bankruptcy, so she didn't get their votes either.

But oh, how I would have loved seeing a presidential debate between Obama and Herman Cain. A highly-intelligent, extremely well-educated man debating an ignorant fool. Watching Obama wipe up the floor with Cain without breaking a sweat would have been sweet.

Debate? Hell, I'd love to see the two of them simply compete in a Presidential Knowledge Quiz. Imagine the moderator throwing out: "Please name all the world countries whose names end in "stan" and name their leaders," and then watching Cain drown in total flop sweat, unable to name even one. "Ah, is there Ozstan, with President Mohammed Ozma?" and then see Obama glibly reel off the right answers. Mmmmm. That's Entertainment.

2012 Presidential debate:

Moderator: "Did you kill Osmam Bin Laden?"

Republican Nominee: "No, but..."

Obama: "Yes."

Moderator: "Thank you and good night."

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

When I heard about Hostess going into bankruptcy I got an immediate craving for their fruit pies. They are the worst possible things for me but in this case I don't care.

Kelly Sedinger said...

Wow, Tallulah wins the Internet for today! Great comment.

I really wish they were calling the movie John Carter of Mars. Just John Carter sounds...well, it doesn't really sound anything at first. If they'd made this seven or eight years ago, it would have people wondering why there's a movie about the Noah Wyle character from ER. Still, I look forward to the film, because hey, space opera/planetary romance can never be overrepresented in popular culture!

MC said...

Cal, our Hostess stuff is safe.

What I am gathering from this Hostess bankruptcy (which is these second in a decade) is it is their way of weaseling out of their pension responsibilities to their workers and perhaps a way of rolling back or destroying the unions of their workers.

Daskaea said...

I can't believe Kelly Osbourne really had the balls to do that. She weighed WAY more than Xtina ever has. Couldn't we throw some sensitivity into Hollywood? Or body acceptance. -1000 pt for Kelly Osbourne.

As always, well said Aaron. Well said.

Nathan said...

So, basically, Kelly Osbourne is pulling a Ricky Gervais?

Roger Owen Green said...

Vote Herman Cain in SC> a vote for Cain is a vote for Colbert. Really.