Monday, January 30, 2012

Another Post-Lexapro Note

I want to say thanks for the supportive comments I've gotten on my previous two posts about going through withdrawal and my decision to give up my antidepressants. It really does mean a lot. I won't fool myself into thinking, after my spending years blogging about my awful health, that anyone's really invested in it. I think it's more like a TV series that's been running so long that people just want to see how it comes out. But what you guys have been saying has been genuine and much appreciated, because it does make me feel supported.

One comment in particular stuck out, which was Jason telling me to trust that I'll be okay. I read that this morning and realized, I actually do trust that I'm going to be okay. Rather than letting the withdrawal symptoms destroy me, I'm looking at them as something I'm going to get through before I tackle the larger work of keeping control of my anger and my health. I've never believed I wouldn't get through this part. I'm just sort of waiting for it to be over: right now, even sitting here in front of my computer, I feel like I'm wearing a yoke with a large millstone hanging from either side of it, and I feel like I can barely move. But in my heart I know I won't feel this way for long.

I really hadn't thought about that before reading Jason's comment, but there it is, right there inside me: this part will be over soon. That's remarkably positive for me. And if I can be positive about this, I can be positive about the other stuff.

I will be positive about the other stuff.

I can't believe this is me saying this.

3 comments:

Caffeinated Joe said...

Believe it! You will be fine. Take care!

DrGoat said...

Hang in there. It will get better. I've been through the same thing with not only anti-depressants but with benzodiazepine withdrawal too. Circle your wagons and know it will be over and you will feel comfortable in your skin again.

Johnny Yen said...

Take it a step at a time, friend. Sometimes I wish I could bring you outside yourself and see your creativity and energy. When I was in nursing school (and now, even as a first year nurse who has just staggering amounts of stuff to learn), trying to juggle school, work, two teenaged kids and a marriage that's really struggling, I always found time to read your blog. Yes, I enjoy it that much. So focus on the good and keep moving forward. You'll get there.