Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Things Said

ME: So what's for breakfast?

BECCA: Self-reliance.

ME: If I wanted that, I wouldn't have gotten married.

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CASHIER: Would you like your candy kept out of the bag?

ME: And ruin my breakfast of donuts?

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ME: [reading junk mail] Oh, I'm pre-qualified for a loan. [rips it up, throws it onto floor]

BECCA: You're pre-qualified to pick that shit up off the floor right now.

2 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Misanthropy is a virtue.

Nathan said...

That first one sounds kind of like something I would say.