Monday, August 15, 2011

I've Just About Had It with Gordon Ramsay's Fox Shows

Tonight, Hell's Kitchen and MasterChef both hinged on ridiculous decisions.

First, HK. At this point, it's been beyond obvious for weeks that Carrie and Elise both need to leave. All they do is snipe and backbite and bitch at each other instead of actually cooking, and it brings down the entire Red Team kitchen. Once again, both of them were put up for elimination (it's always one or both of them), but Gordon doesn't eliminate either of them. He eliminates Jamie instead, because he's decided that she's not fighting back anymore. No matter how many times he has to throw Elise and Carrie out of the kitchen--after which he can see for himself that the kitchen functions better without them--he just won't eliminate them.

Why? For manufactured drama, of course. Because Hell's Kitchen isn't a show about cooking, it's a show about people yelling. If you're like me and you don't care about the personalities clashing and would just like to see the actual food for more than 90 seconds per episode, you're just out of luck. It's all about drama and fighting and sound bites. So the results are completely meaningless, because Gordon doesn't base his decisions on merit, but on what's going to make for good TV.

And yes, I know it's been like that the whole time; now they're just not even bothering to pretend it's about cooking.

Ditto MasterChef. The only reason to eliminate Suzy over Christian is that they want the finals to be this grand contest between bitter rivals Christian and Jennifer. (Sorry, Adrien, you just aren't white enough to make the final two. Now that we've got rid of all the blacks and gays and every other ethnicity, MC will get Adrien out of the way in order to decide who the new MasterWhite is.) So, Christian's pie looks good but tastes awful, and Suzy's pie looks awful but tastes delicious, and the one to keep is the one who can't make a pie that tastes good. Yeah... awesome thinking.

Because, you know, it's not about merit, it's about choosing the most TV-ready personality. That's why they picked their little prodigy last year, and that's why they'll pick a white person this year.



Jaquandor said...

Check out my post on these shows tonight. We had almost identical thoughts.

Drake said...

Elise will be there to the end because she's such jackass and they think that makes dramatic tv (more like melodramatic) but she won't win. It's making it hard to watch Hell's Kitchen.
MasterChef i can't watch because of Christian (if i had to put up with his attitude he'd be on the floor out cold), does Gordon see himself in the arrogant S.O.B. or is it like you say just for the ratings.
Disappointed in Hell's Kitchen.
And how crappy is Big Brother this summer?

SamuraiFrog said...

Jaquandor: I TiVo both shows, so I saw them later and then just came right over to write this because I was so irritated. Then I saw your post and thought, damn, I could've just linked it with a "What he said, but an hour earlier than me." Glad to see someone else felt exactly the same.

Drake: Elise is just awful. I'm sick of her yapping. It's like a little dog you just want to kick. "Yap yap yap yap yap yap yap, bitch." And yeah, Christian... I just despise him.

I don't watch Big Brother; I could just never get into that one without the nudity of the British version, because I'm shallow.