Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Oh, Joe Bastianich

I'd forgotten just how deep my loathing for you is.


"Oh, you made a risotto for Joe Bastianich? Uh oh." Cut to Joe Bastianich, all Gollum-eyed and hunched over, acting like he owns risotto... Ooh, I judge you with my eyes.

MasterChef is going to be a trial this year, I can already tell.

Everything's just so made-for-TV. There's no concern for whether food is any good, it's all about who was a marketable story and who will jump through idiotic hoops to get on TV. It's so slick and cynical, and so far I hate everyone involved, including my TV stalwart Gordon Ramsey. (Yeah, yeah, you've been to India, so only your curry is authentic.)

Actually, I did like two people for sure. The Scottish woman who didn't make it on the show, and the guy who cooked the alligator meat. Although I did have to give a hollow laugh when he said Gordon Ramsey was a son of a bitch who was straight with you. Tell that to the guy he made run around the warehouse before rejecting him.

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