Monday, May 09, 2011

Small Steps in Personal Growth

Becca and I went to see a movie yesterday. It was the first time we'd been to the cinema since summer of 2009, so I guess I wanted to see Thor more than any movie of the last two years...

Anyway, it felt nice to go out. I know this kind of thing isn't a big deal to most people, but with my nascent agoraphobia really getting the better of me in 2010, it feels like a small triumph. Becca still does all the driving (though I did drive myself to a job interview last week, and it's enough of a triumph being comfortable with someone else driving me around), but getting up and having some lunch out of the house and going to a movie... I don't know, it made me feel more normal.

It was weird, too, because when I first sat down in the theater I felt... wrong, somehow. Like something bad would happen. Claustrophobic, even. I had trouble breathing for a moment or two. I don't know why or where it comes from, but it was there. I just pushed it down and resolved to enjoy the experience.

Also, the movie was really fun, so that helped a ton.

It was just nice, really nice, to be out on a Sunday afternoon with Becca, like we used to be able to do, just enjoying ourselves. Getting a burger for lunch, going to a show... being normal. It felt really, really good.

I think I really needed that.

I've been in such a good mood.

11 comments:

Devilham said...

Good to hear it buddy, a nice day with the wife can be just the ticket.

Caffeinated Joe (Wings) said...

Congrats! Hope to hear about more of your adventures out and about!

Kal said...

I am finding that I get the same kind of stress when I go anywhere lately. I am so used to being in my house where everything is pretty much brought to me. I can handle going out grocery shopping because that is something I really enjoy but I was in Walmart the other day and I could hear my own heartbeat drowning out my thoughts and had to get out of there. There were just too many people and too long a line to wait. I thought I was going to have a major panic attack right there in the store. Then the old greeter stopped me on my way out to check my purchases and I felt like I was going to punch him in the head repeatedly for singling me out and delaying my departure. I have never been like that before. I think being alone all this time has changed me and not for the better. I have to put myself on the sub list for next fall and see if this phobia of mine has crossed over to my teaching. If it has then I am no good to anyone anymore. I totally get where you are coming from.

Drake said...

It's a big step and i'm glad you made it.
One day i'll be able to see a movie again in a theater.

Carl said...

Glad to hear it!

Phillip A. Ellis said...

I, too, am glad to hear that you managed so well. Conga rats!

jaundicedi said...

Congratulations! I hope you enjoyed "Thor" as much as I did.

Roger Owen Green said...

Well, two things, actually.

I'm REALLY glad you were able to pull this off.

Also, I think the movie theater experience is just different (maybe better, in my opinion, but unquestionably different) than home theater, so I'm really glad you saw this film (which I haven't seen yet) in the theater where the movie can...I dunno, 'breathe' sounds SO pretentious, but it's the first word I thought of.

WV: promos, which is, of course, the downside of going to the theater, unless you like that sortof thing.

Glenn Whidden said...

Good for you man, way to go. One step and a time.

Bob said...

Two thumbs up.

:)

Splotchy said...

Good for you, man.