Friday, March 11, 2011

I Always Thought I'd Die in One of These

I still might.

As much as I love McDonaldland and as much as a wave of nostalgia hits me when I think of these old play parks, I cringe a little when I remember these death traps. You got up there inside a tiny, thin tube with a ladder that, unless you were a leprechaun, you had to dangerously contort yourself to get inside. I know these are made for three year-olds, but even then they were tough to get inside. I can just feel my chin digging into my clavicle thinking about getting up into the top, inside Sheriff Big Mac's head here, and then not being able to move. And brother, when you got too big for these things, you found out the hard way. By almost getting trapped and seeing your short life flash before your uncomprehending eyes.

These are just torture devices, man.

2 comments:

Carl said...

I'd completely forgotten about these. Even for kids, these were a little on the "cramped" side, but I always liked 'em. Wasn't there a tower at the top where you could look out, too? Or was that the tree?

Kal said...

And once you are trapped up there with your insufficient Happy Meal, you got about 4 hours before you die from starvation. 3 fries, 2 nuggets and spoiled milk. Let my death come on swift wings.