Saturday, January 16, 2010

Nobody Memes Forever

Meme via Roger, picture via Becca, who made it for me.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.

James Cagney, one of my all time favorite actors.

2. Where was your first kiss?

In my basement at the old town house we lived in. A boy, a friend of mine.

3. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? If yes, why?

Yes, actually. Why? Because I used to have very serious anger problems that I couldn't control. I never hit a woman in the face, but I punched at least one girl in the arm very hard, I punched my sister in the gut when I was 13 and she was 10, and one time, very early in our relationship, I swatted Becca on the butt so hard that she fell down and started crying. I always felt horrible afterward, which doesn't excuse it. It took me a long time to get my anger under control. First, I stopped taking it out on others. Then it took me a long time to stop taking it out on myself.

4. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? When?

I like to do karaoke, even though every friend I've ever had has completely wimped out on it. Dude, I can't sing, either, but it's fun.

5. What's the first thing you notice about your preferred sex?

I like the whole neck, shoulders, chest area of a woman. Then it's the eyes. And especially her laugh. If a woman can give a full, throaty, completely unselfconscious laugh, I will fall in love with her. With men, it's something to do with the hips.

6. What really turns you off?

Callousness.

7. What is your biggest mistake?

Making too many things a life or death argument. Letting my fears get out of control.

8. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?

Many times.

9. Say something totally random about yourself.

My Christmas tree is still up. Damn.

10. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?

A computer program said I looked like Matt Damon. If only.

11. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows?

All the time. I watched four episodes of Hannah Montana today. Or at least, they were on while I was on Tumblr.

12. Are you comfortable with your height?

Sure.

13. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you?

It's not grand gestures, it's the little things. Becca brought me home a stuffed shark from work the other day. It had been way marked down, she had a little extra left over, and she knows I like sharks, especially in the stuffed variety. I think it cost her about a buck and a half, but I loved it. It's things like that, knowing that someone is thinking about you during the day, that are much more romantic than the grand gestures.

14. When do you know it's love?

There's no set time for anything like that. Honestly, I felt like it was love with Becca after we'd known each other for about a week. Turns out I was right.

15. What's something that really annoys you?

When I'm trying to go to sleep after midnight and one of my neighbors is playing their music so loud it's actually shaking my apartment. Happens far, far too often.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Thank You, Gods of Television

I know, I can hear you rolling your eyes from here. But I'm thrilled my Jess is going back to television. I don't care how bad this show is, I will be there every week to watch her grace my screen.

TV Report: Brief-ish

With the season back in swing, I have a couple of observations and suchlike.

:: One episode in, and Big Love is as repetitive as ever. Why do I keep doing this to myself?

:: I always love it when Neil Patrick Harris sings, and his song and dance number on the 100th episode of How I Met Your Mother was a real treat. He needs to be in, like, 5 musicals ASAP.

:: This week's episode of Castle was a real bore, and almost impossible to pay attention to. Please do not ever put personality-black-hole Alyssa Milano on an episode of this show ever again.

(You know, she was also the last straw for me on My Name Is Earl; when they forced her into the show, I stopped watching it. And it's not really that I hate her or anything, she's just very boring and pointless.)

:: The promo for the next episode of Heroes bugged me. I don't like seeing Sylar kiss Claire. He metaphorically raped her and I don't like that the show keeps wanting him to pursue Claire romantically. That just makes me feel kind of sick. What is it with Tim Kring's women? They're always in over their heads, and if they're blonde, they tend to wind up brutally murdered. I get it, someone broke your heart. Jesus.

:: The Secret Life of the American Teenager... Ben, just run away, now. Get your life back.

:: Why am I so addicted to Teen Mom on MTV? I just can't stop watching it. I can't stop watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians, either, but I know why that is.

:: Well, I'm watching American Idol again. After taking a break from it last year, somehow I just started watching it again this year. Simon Cowell's last year, apparently, so this is probably the last year that I'll watch it, too. It's the same thing every year, anyway, and without the brutal honesty of Simon Cowell, I don't see the point of it.

:: Wow, the producers of Ugly Betty have really taken everything back to square one. It's like they've just set everything up very precisely to take it back to the status quo of the first season. In one fell swoop, they got rid of Cal Hartley, brought Wilhelmina back to Mode, and put Hilda back with another neighborhood thug with a heart of gold. Then they got rid of Betty's boyfriend, and after he'd finally stopped acting like a petulant little jerk over a misunderstanding.

The frustration of Ugly Betty is that plotlines are dragged out for way too long, and then just cut off when they're finally resolved. I didn't like getting rid of Matt that way. The producers and writers just always seem so intent on taking away Betty's happiness and minimizing her accomplishments. It made me so happy last week when Betty felt they were spending too much time together by working in the same office, and Matt actually decided his relationship was the important thing and quit his job. So why didn't that surety transfer to this week when Matt said he wanted to go to Uganda and volunteer for six months? Betty couldn't have just understood it was important to him and let him go, and then resumed their relationship when Matt came back? It's such an American TV contrivance: "Well, if I can't have everything I want exactly the way I want it right at this moment, the whole thing isn't worth it, so let's break up." It's forced drama for the sake of forced drama, and it's immature.

:: Speaking of forced drama, I was also disappointed to see Scott Foley ushered off of Cougar Town so quickly. His character just slid into the group so easily and so well, and now we're going to do some kind of forced love triangle thing, I guess. Apparently having Jules try to make a relationship work as a real, serious relationship for a while would be too much for this show to try and do. Back to the boyfriend-of-the-week, I suppose.

:: Last week's episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold saw Aquaman on vacation with his family (camper and all) while wishing he could find himself embroiled in a real adventure. A couple of episodes before that, Plastic Man, his wife, Woozy Winks, and Baby Plas were featured. I think you know what I'm trying to say here: best Batman cartoon ever. I hope this never ends.

:: I actually watched Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and America's Funniest Home Videos because the Muppets were on them. They are popping up everywhere, and I am thrilled beyond words. That is all.

Jimmy Kimmel Kicked the Shit Out of Jay Leno on TV Last Night

I haven't commented too much on the insane way that NBC is rewarding Jay Leno for failing at his job. They really haven't given Conan O'Brien a chance to succeed with The Tonight Show, since they made the ruinous choice to put Jay on in primetime. I don't understand why they want to cater to Leno at this point; is he really such an institution? I don't think so, but I grew up watching Carson, so there's really no comparison. Anyway, watch this. Kimmel has balls of solid rock.


A couple of things you should read. First, I like MC's take on this, and I think his salesmen analogy sums the whole thing up exactly. Also, I like this open letter on Cracked urging Conan to head to Fox and take over The Simpsons and make it actually funny again, like it was in its first 10 years. Not a bad idea at all.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Weird Kneejerk Thought I Had When I Saw This Terrible Poster

"Is this supposed to look like a whirlwind romantic comedy about Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun?"

Dear Pat Robertson: Please Die

Seriously. We don't need you running amok saying that the Haitians brought the earthquake upon themselves:

[S]omething happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. Napoleon the Third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, “We will serve you if you get us free from the prince.” True story. And so the devil said, “OK, it’s a deal.” They kicked the French out, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free.

But ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other, desperately poor. That island of Hispaniola is one island. It’s cut down the middle, on the one side is Haiti, on the other side is the Dominican Republic. The Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, etc. Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island.

They need to have, and we need to pray for them, a great turning to God. And out of this tragedy I’m optimistic something good may come. But right now, we’re helping the suffering people and the suffering is unimaginable.

Just... go away. Sure, we have free speech in this country. You used yours to say that 9/11 was punishment from God for tolerating gays and feminists. I'm using mine to say you're a fucking idiot who would make me happy by falling off the top of a tall building.

Film Week

A review of the films I've seen this past week.

THE BOAT THAT ROCKED (2009)
Richard Curtis' second film as a director is a lot like Love Actually--lots of vignettes, unified by a common theme (or in this case, a common setting and purpose), but which takes its time creating a sense of place and humanity instead of stampeding through multiple stories like a lesser storyteller might. This is about a time in 1966 when pirate radio stations operated off of boats in the North Atlantic because the BBC, during the best period in history for British rock, only played 40 minutes of pop music a day. Curtis is wise not to be too precious about the premise, but instead to paint a portrait of people sharing something they all love and drawing together around it as a community. Great cast; I especially liked Tom Sturridge as the young man through whose eyes see everything, and his beautiful girlfriend played by Talulah Riley. And I have to single out Nick Frost. Dude's hilarious in everything. **** stars. Excellent soundtrack, obviously.

THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE (2009)
This comes so close to working, but in the end, it really doesn't. What could have been an excellent science fiction romance is too often muffled by painful over-earnestness that just crushes the plot under it weight. It asks us to take too many things for granted that just seem manufactured to give the film artificial dramatic tension--I can accept Eric Bana's sudden, uncontrollable time travel as a genetic disorder for the sake of the plot, but it seemed contrived that he was always in immediate danger from gangs or shop owners or whatever. Jeez, you need clothes, just find a shelter or go to the cops. Also, given the title of the film, I was hoping for more about Rachel McAdams' character. Granted, she's not a strong actress (she just isn't), but a little more focus on the difficulties of living the life she lives--in love with a man who can be pulled away into nothing at any second--would've really made the story more interesting. It's mainly just situation, some genuinely nice scenes, and a lot of hot air. A missed opportunity. **1/2 stars.

Should I read the book? I've always heard to book was good.

UP IN THE AIR (2009)
One of the best films of 2009, for certain. I'm really beginning to love Jason Reitman as a director. After three home runs (this, Juno, Thank You for Smoking), I'm really looking forward to his next. George Clooney, in my favorite performance he's ever given, plays a "transitional specialist." That is, he travels across the country giving employees the news that they've been terminated so that cowardly bosses don't have to do it themselves. His life is orderly. He takes his career seriously. And he's lonely, although he doesn't quite realize it yet, and he's afraid of dying without making any impact, although he doesn't quite vocalize it. A spanner is thrown into the works of his orderly, solitary life when his boss (a rather heartless Jason Bateman) introduces him to an incoming college graduate (Anna Kendrick, who is very good, especially with the dialogue) who has an "innovation"--to save on the bottom line by videoconferencing the firings instead of flying people out to do it in person. Clooney takes her on one of his trips, because she has no experience firing people, and in the hopes that she'll see the necessity of giving people the respect of firing them in person. This is a quiet, thoughtful, adult movie and it's like a breath of fresh air in today's cinemascape. I should mention that the cast is pretty great, including Vera Farmiga, whom I did not like at all in The Departed but who is note perfect here as Clooney's love interest. Also, JK Simmons has one scene that he handles so deftly... he's such a great actor. **** stars.

BARDELYS THE MAGNIFICENT (1926)
John Gilbert stars as Bardelys, a French Marquis with a Don Juan reputation who bets his rival that he can get Eleanor Boardman to marry him. He sort of falls into a case of mistaken identity that proves near-fatal, and learns that the love and marriage he's always shunned is what he really wants. I thought it was fun, and some of the action scenes were pretty gripping. I'm surprised I haven't seen them ripped off more. ***1/2 stars.

BOUDU SAVED FROM DROWNING (1932)
I often see this referred to as one of Jean Renoir's smaller films, but small or large, Renoir spins magic with everything he does. Michel Simon plays a tramp (Priape Boudu) who is saved from drowning by an unmotivated bookseller who then takes him in. Rather than being grateful, Boudu is coarse and demanding, seducing the bookseller's wife, spitting on the floor, knocking over dishes, etc. Eventually, however, he finds the disadvantages (and obligations) of civil life to be too demanding. It's a lighthearted work, very clever, that pokes holes in the social stereotypes of the noble savage and the oppressive upper class. Anarchic, I guess. **** stars. Well worth your time.

JAILHOUSE ROCK (1957)
One of Elvis Presley's better movies, if only because it's so early and he's still really trying. His people stuck him in those terrible, repetitive vehicles that were mostly terrible but this one feels like a real movie, not just a showcase for Elvis, though he certainly does get his time to sing. Here he plays a young man who goes to prison for manslaughter, learns to play the guitar, and is then determined to become a recording star. Mickey Shaughnessy is very good as Elvis' mentor. *** stars.

MICHAEL JACKSON'S THIS IS IT (2009)
Meh. This is, like, 97% rehearsal footage for a tour that never came because of Michael Jackson's sudden death. And though his performing instincts are still pretty sound--he was such an incredible dancer, he really was--it's a shell of the greatness he had in the seventies and eighties. The music is pleasant, but there's no real insight into his process or his method of working. But, as a eulogy to Michael Jackson the performer, it's pretty classy. It's not revelatory, but it's not masturbatory, either. *** stars.

FANTASTIC MR. FOX (2009)
You might remember, but I really hated the previews for this picture. Seeing it, I really liked parts of it (especially the design and look of the film and its characters), but I wasn't very enchanted with the story. This is the kind of movie that hipsters enjoy thinking they would have loved to have when they were kids, but I don't buy it. It's another exercise in self-obsession, taking a story about community and overlaying it with existential crisis after existential crisis after midlife crisis to the point where everything I enjoyed about the movie just got completely overshadowed. There's a sort of smug aspect that says "Look at me, I'm subverting kiddie movie tropes and making a movie for self-regarding adults! Director at work!" There really were aspects of the movie I liked, though. The stop-motion animation is much better than it looked from the previews, and I like that it takes its time. Some of the voices are quite good, especially George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Bill Murray, and Michael Gambon. It just didn't all click for me. I would've appreciated more sincerity and less affectation. **1/2 stars.

Wish I Was There

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

KITTY!

This little guy reminds me of my cat Sam when he was a little kitten, too. Man, I miss Sam.

Random Thoughts

Frankly, I don’t even know what PETA’s message is anymore. They’re not going to get me to stop eating delicious animals, and I’ve never heard of them doing anything to actually help an animal, but hey, at least you can jerk it to their ads.

:: Mark McGwire revealed he used steroids, but claims it didn’t affect his home run race with Sammy Sosa. Sure. This is sportsmanship today: steroids vs. corked bat. Nice. McGwire says this has been gnawing at his conscience, but I’m not buying his big confession. It doesn’t make him a hero that he admitted he used steroids, because he’s not going to get punished for it. He already broke the record on home runs, and he already lied to Congress. Telling the truth when there are no longer any consequences is not bravery.

:: Dear downstairs neighbors,
Die in a plane crash already.
Fuck you in the ear, SamuraiFrog

:: Where are all the pictures where Taylor Lautner actually looks comfortable with women?

:: What the hell is actually going on at NBC these days? I’d hate to be in Conan’s position of being, apparently, expendable to the network’s great love of Jay Leno, a love which is obviously not shared by the audience. Their venerable institution, The Tonight Show, is being completely cheapened by their bullshit. Good for Conan for saying he's not going to do the show at the time slot they're forcing on him. He should go elsewhere.

:: Sam Raimi has walked away from Spider-Man 4 and Sony has scrapped the film. I was cool with that—frankly, after years of crappy scripts (and James Cameron’s was the worst), Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2 were better than I ever hoped to get from Hollywood. At least I've got those to watch until the end of my days. I cant say I'm interested in Sony's "reboot" plans for their franchise. Too soon. They say the new movie will be grittier and more urban or somesuch. He’s not Batman, Sony.

:: Sam Mendes may direct the next James Bond movie. Dear God, I hope not.

:: I see they’ve trotted out the character posters for Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief. It always strikes me as overcompensating when they take the time to showcase each and every character. Bad enough every movie seems to have 5 or 10 or 20 different posters now (if there’s this much indecision about the marketing…), but character posters usually point to the film not being very good. The Harry Potter movies are the only ones I can think of that don’t fall into that trap. (No, oddly enough, kids seem to hate the Harry Potter movies because they try to make Harry a realistic person instead of Edward Cullen. Kids today fucking suck.)

:: In the same interview in which Rod Blagojevich claims to be blacker than President Obama, he also calls Amy Madigan a cunt. He’s apologized profusely for what he said about the President, but says he “doesn’t remember” calling Madigan a name. Hm. I imagine there’s not a day that goes by when he doesn’t curse Amy Madigan somewhere. Let’s translate “I don’t remember” into non-bullshit speak: what he’s really saying is she’s a cunt and he’s not sorry he said it, but he doesn’t have the courage to stand by that. No one has the courage to stand by what they say anymore if what they say is unpopular.

:: I love that the same gossip bloggers who got all pissed off at the media for calling Kim Kardashian fat are now making fun of Mariah Carey for putting on weight. Human nature is nothing if not intensely predictable.

:: Comics Alliance picked their 5 best comic book stories of the decade. I choose to look at their praise of the awful Marvel Civil War, the marketing gimmick Battle for the Cowl, the “Let’s turn the Green Lantern Corps into the Care Bears” Blackest Night, the totally unnecessary Infinite Crisis, and the odious Identity Crisis as proof of just how terrible comics were in the last ten years.

:: I roll my eyes whenever I see people blogging that they really, really miss Glee. Glee’s on a long break. You know what I miss? Farscape, Invader ZIM, Veronica Mars, and a dozen other shows unceremoniously canceled. At least Glee fans are getting their show back.

:: Speaking of eye-rolling, is anyone even surprised that Sarah Palin is going to be “analyzing” the “news” for Fox Opinion?

:: When I see Lindsay Lohan's kid sister walking around at night with a man old enough to be her father, I have to wonder if she ever stops and ponders where everything went wrong.

:: Ugh. Of course Kevin Smith's big "innovation" for the Green Hornet is to turn Kato into a woman. That's the kind of lazy shit that passes for edginess with his generation.

:: WGN News really needs to stop playing videos they find on YouTube. We’ve already seen them. Months ago. Also, Family Guy needs to stop inserting popular internet memes into their show, thinking that they'll still seem fresh and hilarious when the episode airs 10 months later. Of course, if you wanted fresh and hilarious, you wouldn’t be watching Family Guy.

:: When Rihanna sings, is it supposed to make me think “Shut up, bitch”? Because if it is, she’s doing a magnificent job.

:: The Right are fooling themselves with their "Obama ruined the country" rhetoric. Let’s get this straight. We’re not disappointed in Obama because we blame him for Bush’s mistakes. We’re disappointed in Obama for not meeting the challenges of Bush’s mistakes in a way that makes a difference. But the Right has learned the lesson of Goebbels—tell a big enough lie often enough and someone will believe it.

:: Why is it that Hollywood has always seen a sort of romantic nobility in not dealing with things in a serious manner?

:: Fuck, now the media is going to treat these idiots from Darwin Award Pre-Show Jersey Shore like they’re celebrities. You know, if you treat them like that, they’ll think they’re people and they won’t go away.

:: I watched a Barney Miller rerun last week I'd never seen before where Linda from Sesame Street played a deaf hooker. That was a little trippy. She looked hella hot, though.

:: "Please do not remove the tag from this picture that I did not make and do not own but am using to gain attention for my blog." Honest picture tag I’d like to see on a fansite, but never will.

:: The Holocaust Museum shooter died. Good.

:: Oh noes, Miley Cyrus wore something with an exposed back, revealing far less than any girl does when she’s at the beach! You know what that means! “ZOMG, her back is exposed! She’s a slut!” “OMFG, she has a little bit of cleavage! She’s a slut!” “Holy crap, a girl who’s aware she has boobs in the 21st century! She’s a whore!” That it all comes from teenage girls is pretty disheartening. Why don’t you just be honest and say “Anyone who is pretty, famous, young, has boobs, and isn’t me is a fucking whore”? Get fucking over yourselves, kids.

:: If Duchamp were painting today, all the internet would have to say is that Nude Descending a Staircase doesn't look like a woman on a staircase. As if it's real criticism and not the most obvious, most graceless observation you could make.

:: Egotastic "wonders," for the 1200th time, why Kim Kardashian is famous. It probably has something to do with you bottom feeders who run gossip blogs instead of getting real jobs constantly posting pictures of her on your websites, dipshit.

:: Have things really gotten so bad for the Catholic Church that they're forced to beg for attendees via puke-inducing TV commercials? Oh, and by the way, your commercials are wrong: Jesus didn’t start the Catholic Church, Paul did. Once again, I know more about your religion’s history than you do, and I’m not even a fan.

:: A commercial says "If your child is between the ages of 7 and 17 and experiences frequent sadness, social isolation, or an increase in anger or difficulty school, then your child may be struggling with depression." Your child may also be a child. Welcome to life. It does not get easier. You just cope better.

:: Dear downstairs neighbors,
I thought I told you to die in a plane crash. What’s the hold up?
Love, SamuraiFrog

:: It's a free country. You have the freedom to say whatever stupid thing you want. However, I don't have an obligation to take your stupidity seriously just because you labor under the delusion that all opinions are valid.

Der Figs Is Okey-Dokey

Just for the hell of it, a couple more pics of my Muppet figures.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Eric Rohmer 1920-2010

A great filmmaker. What more can I say?

Titans Will Clash

Oh, I dig this. Someone made a trailer for the 1981 classic Clash of the Titans using the soundtrack (and rhythm) of the trailer for the coming remake. I picked this up over at the Cave of Cool. Cool is the word.

Fuck It, Let's Talk About Harry Reid for a Sec

Here's the quote everyone's freaking out over: that Reid "was wowed by Obama's oratorical gifts and believed that the country was ready to embrace a black presidential candidate, especially one such as Obama -- a 'light-skinned' African American 'with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one,' as he said privately."

You know, I'm not reading that as racist so much as a comment on race relations in America.

Christ, it seemed like all we talked about during the election was whether or not a black man could be elected president. A lot of people said he couldn't be. I knew people who said that to me personally. Remember when he wasn't "black enough" to be palatable to black people? Hell, I know people right now--I'm related to one--who flat out refuse to acknowledge he's black because his mother was white (the implications there actually frighten me).

And unless you're being willfully ignorant or are just plain dumb, you know what he said was true.

Michael Steele knows it's true. But he's an opportunist, so he's out screaming about it, pretending to be hurt, because it makes the GOP look like they really care about black people which--I say again--they don't. But at least they'll keep bringing up Trent Lott, a genuine racist, until they realize it just reminds people of a hundred or more years of right wing racism.

I'm going to be extremely frank and honest here, because I'm sick of seeing everyone be coy about this: Reid said that America wasn't going to vote for a nigger, but that Obama wasn't a scary nigger, so he might be a viable political candidate. And it's true. Because white America still has the hardest time getting past skin color. No, that's not the only thing. White America still can't get past shades of skin color.

America was ready for light-skinned Obama. If he had been Ving Rhames, he never would've made it through the primary. Can we please be fucking honest about this? America wants to ease into Lena Horne, not be confronted by Josephine Baker. It's always been true in America, and it's still true now.

By the way, here's something else that bothers me: think about the fears revealed by this very true assumption. It's like white politicians assume--and make no mistake, they play on these fears all the time--that any black politician is secretly Wesley Snipes in New Jack City. That they're trying to fool their way into the White House, then rip off the suits, start wearing chains and berets, listening to rap music, talking in that "Negro dialect" Reid mentions (and don't lie, you knew exactly what he was talking about, because America runs on stereotypical shorthand assumptions), doing drugs and--horror of horrors--having sex with white women.

And the sad thing is, for some people, they're right.

Another one of my relatives--I hate saying this, but I think I've said it before--worried that Obama being a black president would open the door to opportunists like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, as though they had an automatic "in" at the White House to dictate policy just because they were all black politicians.

Most of the people I know who have seen this Reid thing wonder why it's even a news story. And it's because Michael Steele decided to make an issue of it to attack the Democrats on something else, because the right gave up talking about policy years ago and are looking for the next thing to harp on to make themselves look like the answer for America.

What this has really done is brought a truth to the fore; a truth about race relations in America. But that's not what anyone is going to focus on. That truth is taken for granted. We won't be discussing why we can't get past it. Instead we're going to talk about whether Harry Reid is a racist.

God forbid we confront a single problem in America.

I Wish Every Politician Would Fall Into the Same Singularity and Disappear

I am so beyond sick of this chucklehead. Every time I think I don't have to hear any more about Rod Blagojevich--other than about his prosecution, which is what I should be hearing about and really don't--he rears his chucklehead somewhere else.

Okay, first off, Blagojevich doesn't need to be on The Celebrity Apprentice. He's not a celebrity. He may be newsworthy for being the latest criminal governor of Illinois, but he's not a fucking celebrity. And he should be standing trial; how is it kosher for him to go on a reality competition? If Roman Polanski were going to go on The Amazing Race, there would be an uproar. Why is there no one throwing a fit over Blagojevich, the man who defrauded a state, going on a show where he has to prove he's got a modicum of management ability?

He says if he wins, he'll give the money to charity. Sure. Like when your wife worked for charity? Who's going to get defrauded this time to keep you in shitty haircuts and jogging suits? How about giving it to the State of Illinois, you schmuck? We're five billion in the hole, and a lot of us blame you, so we'd appreciate the gesture.

Second off... what the fucking fuck is with his comments in Esquire? "I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up."

There is just so much wrong with this... Look, seeing is not experiencing, okay? And why is it that Blagojevich equates being black with being poor? Really, you pond scum? Really?

Of course, the little weasel is running from these statements now, saying this morning "It's a stupid metaphor to say I'm blacker than Barack Obama, that I apologize for. It's not appropriate for me, a white person, to stand out somehow and claim to be a black person, that's just wrong."

I always love how people in the news are realizing they've said something "inappropriate" long after they've said it. And, of course, not until they get called on it in the media. And then, rather than owning up to it and apologizing, like Blagojevich is trying to make you think he's doing, they blame it on extenuating circumstances or try to tell you why saying something stupid is really saying something else: "I was expressing frustration that the policies of this new administration still haven't really been focusing on the great deal of inequities we have in our society."

That's just the prize in all of this. See, he was just overwhelmed by the ineffectual job Obama is doing, and that's why he says stupid things. Because, you know, Blagojevich spent so much time addressing the inequities in Illinois. The ones he wasn't causing, I guess.

So you see, what Blago wants us to believe is that Blago speaks for all of us: the poor, the downtrodden, those who've been decimated by the economy. It's not that he really believes he's a black guy. It's that he's pissed off at a black guy that leads him to say something that incredibly stupid.

Wow, he just can't go a moment without aggrandizing himself. He certainly is his biggest fan. But isn't it about time someone sat down with him in an interview and asks him how big his hard-on for Barack Obama really is? Because he can't go 2 seconds without talking about how angry he is at the guy.

As for Harry Reid's comments... well, I've never thought of him as a smart guy. I'm not surprised to see the GOP attacking him because the GOP is always quick to jump on these things when Democrats do them. It's not that they care about African-Americans--they don't--but they do care about making the Democrats look like hypocrites. Which is, frankly, about as hard as shooting fish in a barrel. Michael Steele is right when he says Reid's comments were inappropriate, but he doesn't have a leg to stand on, either. The way he talks about and to black people you'd think he was raised on another planet. And using the phrase "honest injun" in practically the same breath on TV this weekend was particularly dumbassed.

Let's just dismantle the whole thing and start over. Fuck this stupidity.

Kristen Bell Mondays


Happy Birthday, Sis

My sister turns 31 today. She'll probably be mad at me for posting a picture of her, but she's in Australia and can't touch me here. Ma-ha! Happy Birthday, Jayne!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Song of the Week: "I Got a Name"

Today would have been Jim Croce's birthday, so I'm putting up my favorite song of his. From 1973, "I Got a Name." I've always loved Croce's music; what little we got of it is just magical, whether it's "Bad Bad Leroy Brown" or "Time in a Bottle."

Be warned: video is quite loud.

Bonus Song of the Week: "Happiness Hotel"

Because I'm still in a Muppet mood.

Fear and Lying

It's safe to say that when I heard Rudolph Ghoul-iani, "America's Mayor," claim--UNCHALLENGED--to George Stephanopolous that America had no domestic attacks under President Bush, I completely lost my shit.

The fact that these bald-faced lies go unchallenged by the supposedly liberal media just makes me want to never stop vomiting. And move to France. Because I too often feel like I live in a country that is simply proud of its ignorance. A country that has no idea what the truth is anymore, and worse, doesn't even care.

I live in a country that runs to hide in the hills because of a hiccup in security that leads to nothing more than a guy singeing his balls off and a shitstorm of fascist pundits screaming at us that we should be terrified of everything except rule by a Republican timocracy. That responds to something like an underpaid security guy typing a name into a computer wrong with a quick willingness to give up the freedom to move and to breathe in this country. And that, too often, seems to think being safe and protected at every single moment of every day is somehow realistic.

We respond to terror by allowing ourselves to become terrorized, and I'm sick of being told to fear everything instead of being leveled with as an adult. (Obama did make a good speech the other night, but I'm more cynical about his speeches now, because there is always so little follow-through with him.)

Vent, vent, vent. Anyway, the whole point of this post was to direct you to Distributorcap's post on the Giuliani thing and the relationship of politics to the American media in the 21st Century. I feel the same way, in my ultimate cynicism about this country and what it's currently doing with itself.

Sunday Hottie 258

GRETCHEN MOL