Saturday, November 13, 2010

Hey, Sometimes It's How Marriage Works, Alright?

Becca and I ended up watching the remake of The Stepfather on cable yesterday, and while the movie itself was no great shakes, I did really enjoy Amber Heard in the film. I've seen her before and always liked her, and I just find her really adorable. Plus, the bikinis.

It is a nonstop parade of bikinis in this movie. In every scene she's in, the lovely Miss Heard wears a completely different bikini. Or she's wearing shorts. Or panties and a nightshirt. It's glorious, and the only really great thing about the movie.

At one point, Becca turned to me and said: "She's the only reason we're watching this. If you weren't attracted to her, we'd probably have turned this off half an hour ago."

Me: "Probably, but why not make the best of a bad situation? Besides, can't you tell why I like her so much?"

Becca: "Because she's little and blond and that seems to be your thing?"

Me: "No. Because like a lot of guys, I fetishize the hell out of stuff from my childhood. Look at Amber Heard really closely. Now cut her hair to a shoulder length and give her a cherry tattoo on her shoulder. She looks just like Cherie Currie, and Cherie's been my dream girl since I was a kid who fell in love with the high school girls in the neighborhood and rock music."

ME: "Make sense now? She's very Cherie."

BECCA: "Except good-looking."

ME: [cold stare] "I'm sorry, maybe I didn't hear that."

BECCA: "Do you want me to be honest about my feelings, or do you want me to lie?"

ME: "Obviously, when your feelings compel you to talk shit about my Cherie, I want you to lie."


MC said...

Every time I read the label "On the Subject of Me" on one of these posts, I always hear the music from The Kids in the Hall sketches of the same name.

So I guess it is safe to assume that all the Beccas don't love Mandy Lane then?

Kal said...

I may be a brilliant, witty, Rennaisance man but you will always be my better, Sir, because of that magnificent woman.

And MC was right. These posts need their own soundtrack.

SamuraiFrog said...

MC: Ha, that's where I took the name from when I was coming up with label names.

And how the hell have I not seen Mandy Lane yet?

Kal: My life needs a kind of Monsieur Hulot kind of jaunty music.

Rekovalescent said...

great page, I'm very glade with your public here - that's all are you - you're great!