That's Not Burlesque; That's Cabaret

I saw the preview last night for Burlesque, a movie I'm really only interested in because Kristen Bell is in it. I won't bother attempting to post the trailer, since it keeps getting taken down from YouTube by Sony.

What I will say is this: it looks terrible. I knew it was going to look bad, but it looks so much worse than I thought it would. Christina Aguilera's acting is pitched way too high--she's in some kind of Joan Crawford movie from 1931 or something. Cher comes across badly even for Cher; her days of being able to handle a role are long behind her, I think. Stanley Tucci is doing what he tends to do these days: the supportive gay man who knows everything going on and is realistic about it. He's basically repeating his role from Prada. Again.

The burlesque dancing itself is not burlesque anymore than the stripping in Showgirls is stripping. It's cabaret. It's song and dance. Christina can do that, at least. Acting doesn't seem like her bag. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, since I haven't actually seen the movie, but the trailer doesn't look promising.

And that last line? "Alice, welcome to Wonderland." Ugh, really. Not only is the movie afraid to reach for a cliche, they're making it the tag in their trailer. I rolled my eyes so hard I'm wanted for felony disrespect in Elmhurst.

As for Miss Bell... she's barely in the trailer. They give her one line and, like, two close-ups. I kind of hope her appearance in the trailer is indicative of her role in the movie--which is basically the Bette Davis role from All About Eve. If she keeps her head and doesn't go too far over the top, she'll either be hailed as one of the more grounded things in the movie, or at least go unnoticed because Cher and Christina Aguilera are overacting so archly that they'll take up the bulk of the reviews.

Seriously, this movie looks terrible.