Reconstructing My 80s Saturday Mornings

I've been doing a little reading lately about Saturday morning cartoons. I found some schedules, and decided to just look through them again and see what memories they touched off. Here, for no other reason, is an attempt to reconstruct how I spent my average Saturday mornings during my childhood.

Starting with the 1980-1981 season. I was four years old.

I'm pretty sure my day started at 7 in the morning with Superfriends. I used to watch that show quite a bit. That was on for an hour, and then Scooby Doo and Scrappy Doo was on for an hour and a half. I think I used to switch back and forth between that on ABC and The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Hour on CBS (which, despite its title, was on for 90 minutes). I liked the Looney Tunes, but I LOVED Scooby Doo, so I probably watched more of Scooby Doo. Thundarr the Barbarian was on after Scooby Doo, but I have no memory of ever actually seeing it, so it's more likely I watched Popeye on CBS. The Drak Pack was on after that, which I've never seen, so I probably went out to play before Popeye was even over.

In the spring, ABC switched its schedule around, and Superfriends was followed by The Fonz and the Happy Days Gang, which saw Fonzie, Richie, Ralph, and the hideous anthropomorphic dog Mr. Cool traveled through time with a girl from the future. It was just as awesomely terrible as it sounds. But I was four and I loved it. ABC followed that show with The Richie Rich/Scooby-Doo Hour, which I probably watched intermittently: I loved Scooby Doo but I effing hated Richie Rich. NBC ran 90 minutes of The Flintstones starting at 8, so I probably watched a bit of that. I think there are some times when I flipped over to CBS' The Tarzan/Lone Ranger/Zorro Adventure Hour, but I only recall watching Tarzan. After that I definitely watched The Heathcliff and Dingbat Show and The Plastic Man/Baby Plas Super Comedy Show on ABC. Which now seems weird since NBC had an hour of Batman on at the same time...

1981-1982 season. This is the first year I remember for sure that Saturday morning were a big deal. Superfriends had been shortened to an hour, so at 7:30 I would quickly turn to NBC to watch The Smurfs, which was a huge deal, as these things go. It seemed to get so much attention; those little blue mothers were everywhere. I watched the whole hour, so there goes The Fonz. After that, it was over to CBS to see the last two-thirds of The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Hour, and then back to NBC for Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends at 9:30. At 10, my choices were either bowling on ABC, Blackstar on CBS, and Space Stars on NBC. I've never seen Blackstar, but I remember some of Space Stars. It actually had four segments, but the only segments I remember definitely watching were Space Ghost and The Herculoids.

I was encouraged to go out and play a lot as a kid, so I was probably out playing before that show was even over. Either that, or I was watching TV with my dad. We used to watch wrestling, old kung fu movies, Godzilla movies, and the Three Stooges on local channels. Those were the best days.

In the spring, it was still Superfriends and then The Smurfs, but The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Hour was bumped down to 8:30 and was on for two full hours, so I probably watched that all morning before doing whatever else made up the day.

Moving on to the 1982-1983 season, I was still watching Superfriends at 7. What's funny is, I wasn't much of a DC kid. I was definitely a Marvel kid; I liked Spider-Man and the Hulk. But I liked them more from television than comic books. I didn't get big into comics until I was in 5th or 6th grade. The comics I was into at this time were Donald Duck or Uncle Scrooge.

At 7:30, thanks to my sister, we'd end up watching Shirt Tales. She loved those stupid things. Then The Smurfs started at 8, and it was on for 90 minutes, which is way too much Smurfs. Besides, at 8:30 it was over to ABC for Pac-Man, a show which I easily acknowledge as one of the stupidest things ever, but which I loved as a six year-old. I loved Pac-Man in all forms. We even had the board game! After that was over, I flipped to either the second half of The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Hour (now reduced to its titular hour) or the last half-hour of The Smurfs. Then it was the awful Gilligan's Planet (Gilligan! In space!) on CBS and then The Scooby and Scrappy Doo Puppy Power Hour to round out the morning.

The spring schedule was pretty much the same, except at 9:30 on CBS there was the terrible animated version of The Dukes of Hazzard, followed by a second hour of Bugs Bunny.

In 1983-1984, the schedule had some big changes. Superfriends was gone, but I still started the day at 7 on ABC. But instead I was watching The Best of Scooby-Doo. I guess his best days were long over and no new episodes were being produced by this point. Then, from 7:30 to 8:30, CBS had the Saturday Supercade, with a bunch of Atari-based cartoons. Does anyone remember Soupy Sales as the voice of Donkey Kong? Such lame, lame thinking, but that's the way cartoons were in those days; it's the same way they turned Pac-Man into a factory worker with a family... he seemed a lot less cool as the Fred Flintstone of the arcade world.

Speaking of, I must have gotten over my Pac-Man Fever by then because I was definitely leaving it on CBS to watch Dungeons and Dragons, possibly the greatest Saturday morning cartoon of my childhood. After that I probably watched the last half-hour of The Smurfs on NBC, and then right into Alvin and the Chipmunks, a show I inexplicably loved in the 1980s. I may have occasionally watched The Littles instead, because I remember watching it. I know I didn't pop in too often on The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show, because that was about the time in animation when you used to be able to hear Snoopy's thoughts, and I just hated that. I don't think I watched anything after that in the morning. I must've been eating breakfast; my parents slept in on Saturdays, but I usually woke up around 6 in the morning. Still do.

Spring days started out with another one for my sister, The Monchichis. Remember those horrid things? I think my sister had a stuffed one, too. Were those the ones that could suck their own thumbs? If so, then that's what she had. She sucked her thumb, too, for years and years. I think that's why my parents got her the stuffed animal.

After that, the schedule was the same--Saturday Supercade, Dungeons and Dragons, then a half-hour of The Smurfs or possibly Tarzan, then Alvin and the Chipmunks. If I watched anything after that, it was Bugs Bunny, which was back on at 90 minutes. (It was only on for half an hour in the fall.)

In the 1984-1985 season, Superfriends was back on, but I was over on NBC watching The Snorks for some reason. It was just an undersea version of The Smurfs. Oh, and it gets worse: we would then flip over to CBS and watch the execrable Get-Along Gang. Oh, jeez, those damn shows that were supposed to teach us about caring... But at 8 was the sublime Muppet Babies, and that's just gold. I must have stuck with Saturday Supercade at 8:30 or flipped it over to The Smurfs, because I don't think I ever watched Dragon's Lair, which just seems weird to me. How did I never watch that show? After that it was Alvin and the Chipmunks and Kidd Video. Every time I think of that show, I get Ashford & Simpson's "Solid" in my head...

In the spring, Saturday Supercade was canceled and replaced with more Bugs Bunny and the return of Dungeons and Dragons. Otherwise, my schedule was unchanged.

Moving into 1985-1986, this was the first time I was faced with real dilemmas--such as dilemmas can be when you're 9 and talking about Saturday morning cartoons. Bugs Bunny had been moved to 7 am, so I was probably watching that, but at 7:30 CBS had The Wuzzles and NBC had Gummi Bears. Disney finally gets into Saturday morning television, and they have two shows up against each other? I know I saw both shows, but The Wuzzles was merely okay where Adventures of the Gummi Bears was awesome, so eventually I ditched trying to watch The Wuzzles and stuck with the Gummi Bears. Then, at 8, I had to choose between Muppet Babies and Monsters, now an hour, or head to ABC to watch Ewoks and then Droids. Muppets, or Star Wars? I think Ewoks won out most of the time, but I was never as into Droids. I loved Ewoks, and then I saw it on SciFi Channel about 8 years ago, and... ouch. What a terrible show.

After that was Hulk Hogan's Rock & Wrestling for an hour on CBS, then Alvin & the Chipmunks on NBC, and finally Dungeons and Dragons on CBS.

The spring was slightly different. Bugs Bunny was moved to 7:30, so I probably started the day with Scooby's Mystery Funhouse, went over to Gummi Bears, and then caught the first half-hour of Muppet Babies (which was the actual Muppet Babies part, anyway). Then it was Ewoks, and after that either Rock & Wrestling or, if my sister really wanted it, we'd watch Punky Brewster, that terrible cartoon with Glomer, her alien friend. Yuck. Then Chipmunks and Dungeons and Dragons.

Isn't this just riveting?

The 1986-1987 season started off with The Wuzzles at 7, then Gummi Bears at 7:30. Then the full hour of Muppet Babies and Monsters (I was avoiding Flintstone Kids like the plague), but then I was torn between The Real Ghostbusters on ABC and Pee Wee's Playhouse on CBS. I think I just alternated, because I remember watching both of those shows. After that, I may have watched Alvin and the Chipmunks, or I may have gone outside. I was playing Panther Football that fall, so I was out practicing a lot. The spring schedule was the same, actually.

In the 1987-1988 season, Gummi Bears was moved to 7, and then there were 90 minutes of Muppet Babies at 7:30, followed by Pee Wee's Playhouse (which was up against the animated version of Fraggle Rock, but it was an easy choice, because that show had zero of the magic of the HBO series it was based on). After that, I must have still been watching Alvin & the Chipmunks (or playing video games), because I do remember watching the animated series ALF, which was on right after. It was pretty much as bad as the sitcom. Or, really, worse. The fall schedule was pretty much the same, except ALF had been moved up against Pee Wee, so I probably just stopped watching TV that much earlier.

As the 1988-1989 series began, I was 12 years old and getting tired of a lot of the repetitiveness of Saturday morning cartoons. I think I didn't start watching any 'toons until 8, with New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, and then opting for Slimer and the Real Ghosbusters, which had returned, completely foregoing Muppet Babies and Pee Wee's Playhouse. Then I'd switch over to CBS for Garfield and Friends, a show I didn't really like a whole lot and probably didn't watch all the way through. After that, I went and did something else lest I fall prey to the Ernest or Ed Grimly cartoons.

Then, in the 1989-1990, I basically gave up watching every Saturday morning cartoon except for Slimer and the Real Ghostbusters and Captain N: The Game Master (because Nintendo was the shit). And, of course, I was watching Saved by the Bell in the late morning, but that was because of Kelly Kapowski... oh, yes...

So, it ends with a petering out, then. Weird. What pointless memories I have.