I'll probably have intermittent updates in the future when I make progress, but it's not really helping me anymore to talk about it every week. It wasn't always the easiest thing on my blog to write, and it's not rewarding anymore, so this weekly feature has been canceled.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
The Health Report Is Now Closed
Michael Jackson the Man
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, Michael Jackson’s spiritual advisor, called in to WGN News this morning and talked about how disgusting the Michael Jackson Death Spectacle is. Now, I agree with him on the one hand—this constant outpouring of grief has gotten ridiculous. It’s turned back on itself; it’s not about grief, it’s about going to a big concert or being a part of this giant circus.
But Rabbi Shmuley goes way, way too far when he says he’s horrified that people are mourning this celebrity icon and not the man who actually died and his “quiet acts of kindness.”
First of all, we only knew the celebrity icon; Michael Jackson went to insane lengths to hide the man from the public. Yes, all we knew was the insane “Wacko Jacko” image, but he did nothing to dispel that but occasionally raise a weak voice in dismissal. And you know, that’s fine. I don’t begrudge anyone their privacy.
But it would be inappropriate for me, someone who just liked his music and his dancing and The Wiz and Thriller to mourn him as a man. I didn’t know him as a man. I have no personal connection with him. But I did have a personal connection with some of his music; and like everyone’s personal connection with any music, it was a one-sided relationship. It was about a certain place and time, a reminder of a bygone time in my life that I keep with me but don’t revere, and music that, however much anyone tries to convince me otherwise, was good. Why should I mourn a person I never knew? I note the passing of a man who produced something that was a big deal for me when I was 7 and still remains a pleasant experience.
Mourn the man? The man was an accused child molester. I don’t know what “quiet acts of kindness” Rabbi Shmuley refers to. I don’t care. Michael Jackson, the man, was an intensely private, increasingly bizarre, pathetic caricature of a human being. That was his public face, when he wasn’t hiding it behind a sheet. I don’t know who this person is that black people are calling a black icon or an important figure in black history. That person only exists in their minds. I’m skeptical of any movement led by Al Sharpton, because they’re usually about more public exposure for Al Sharpton than anything else. Alicia Keys? Please. She once said in a Blender interview that she thought the entire child molestation charge (which was not the first time he was accused) was Michael being framed by the white establishment because white people want to tear down rich black celebrities. Which just shows you she’s not firing on all thrusters.
So no, Rabbi Shmuley, the man doesn’t deserve to be mourned by the public. He doesn’t deserve to have the kind of funerary games reserved for antique heads of state. The media’s obsession with reporting every single aspect of the long, unending, Leninesque display is tiresome and asinine. As I’ve said a few times, I note the passing of a recording artist whose work brings me joy. But seeing image after image of Michael Jackson nearly dropping his baby over a railing to a hungry crowd below because he’s too childish and immature and ignorant to know you can’t hold a baby that way… I’m not going to cry over the loss of a manchild whose inability to grow into adulthood led him to endanger his child and hurt the children of others. No way.
Jessica Hahn Is 50
Happy birthday, Jessica Hahn. You were in the first issue of Playboy magazine I ever looked at. And it was in fact my Dad's. So thank you very much.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Is This the Whole Point of CGI?
I can't wait until we've finally run out of animal species for hacks to make talk, dance, and have 'tude in movies. Is this the only reason computer effects were invented? So that we can constantly sit through guinea pigs, chipmunks, cats, dogs, and a thousand other animals--not to mention the robots--dancing and saying retarded catchphrases? Are you as sick of this shit as I am?
I don't want to see any more animals or robots dance in movies.
Ghostbusters III
The internet has been losing its collective shit for the past month or so over reports of an upcoming third Ghostbusters movie. Most of the same actors, possibly the same director, with script duties handled by a couple of guys from The Office.
I have to say, on paper, it sounds like a dream to me. Eliza Dushku might play one of the new Ghostbusters. Bill Murray held out until Ernie Hudson was given more to do in the screenplay. Ivan Reitman probably directing, which is kind of cool, even though I don't think he's made a single good movie since the original Ghostbusters--and I'm including the lame-o Ghostbusters II, which this movie could make up for if it's good. I want to be optimistic and not be one of those guys who "worries" over the quality of a movie instead of just seeing it or not.
But I already know that the internet--the depressing, cliquish, intellectually smug internet--is going to hate this movie. Completely. The way the internet hates anything. It's the same thing over and over--a sequel to a long-beloved movie comes out, and everyone's excited for a year, and then right before it comes out everyone starts getting nervous, and the naysaying begins about a week or so ahead of time, and then everyone decides on the first weekend that they despise it, and then all of those excited idiots join in the cacophony of "Waaaaah! My childhood memories mean nothing now! My childhood was raaaaaaaped! Waaaaaah!" and "Waaaaah! Why can't today's movies be as 'good' as they were when I was an undiscerning 6 year-old who thought everything I saw was great? Waaaaaaaaah!" The kind of thing that makes the internet so boringly repetitive to read.
The Phantom Menace. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Anything made by a filmmaker who has a cult following. Ghostbusters III. I hope the movie's good, but I'm not going to share my optimism for something that's going to have a lot of useless negativity associated with it just because everyone's frustrated with not being 6 years old anymore.
Because regardless--absolutely regardless--of the quality (or lack thereof) of Ghostbusters III, the self-appointed tastemakers will be too "smart" to enjoy it.
This Is the Way the World Ends; Not with a Bang But a Meme
Splotchy tagged me on this incredibly bleak meme created by a fellow I don't know called JDC.
The question is:
"You wake up tomorrow and every person on the planet has vanished. What do you do?"
The replies are:
Day One
Week One
Month One
Year One
DAY ONE
I admit it: after scanning TV and radio and driving around looking for someone, I'd do a lot of crying that day. I think the loneliness and the silence would be overwhelming. Would there be animals? Gosh, so many dying house pets. It would be just me and my rabbit, then. And with no one to maintain the power or the production of food, I'd be thinking a lot about my options running out.
WEEK ONE
By now, I think I'd be writing things down; just a record of the end of humanity. I don't know who or what will be left to read it, or will find it in the future, but it's the only way I could probably make sense of the sheer enormity of being the only person left on the planet.
Probably, I'd have moved into the local Wal-Mart by now. I could build Thumper a very large play area and have food to feed him, and a supply of food for myself (for a couple of weeks at the most). I could stock up on supplies for my eventual move (I'm not going to sit here through the winter if I'm the only person left) and use the exercise treadmills and bicycles to get myself in shape to survive.
MONTH ONE
Using my time in the Wal-Mart to get in shape and stock up, I'd have stolen someone's SUV by now and be filling it with tents, weapons (for possible hunting), fishing gear, seeds, notebooks, and other items I could use. Probably some books, too, to fill time. Assuming Thumper is still alive, I'd be getting gear ready for him, too--a collapsible cage, something for him to travel in, lots of food and hay--because I'm not abandoning him. A bicycle and some tires and an air pump and tire repair kit. Car supplies. Some CDs for the journey. Gas will be in the pumps for a while, so I think we can make it into California before winter. I'd gather up as much food and water as I could carry and prepare to scrounge what I can along the way.
YEAR ONE
I've always liked boats; when I get to California, Thumper and I can locate a sailboat and take off west. Maybe someone will be alive out there. Maybe it will be just me. I suppose I'll just keep going and writing and reading and killing time until I die. What else is there?
Bleak.
I tag MC.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Giallo
Trailer for the new Dario Argento movie. I will see anything he does, even if it has Adrien Brody in it.
Song of the Week: "Walk, Don't Run"
I just read that Bob Bogle of the Ventures died a couple of weeks ago. "Walk, Don't Run" is one of the best instrumental rock tracks ever, and it's about time I had it up. I remember this one from way back; my dad used to play bits of this and "Pipeline" on his electric guitar. This is a cover of a Chet Atkins song Bogle knew from an LP; this single was turned down by every record label before being self-released (by bass player Don Wilson's mother) in 1960. It got them a distribution deal and made it to number 2 on Billboard. I don't know if people really consider this surf rock or not, but it's always sounded like it to me.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Destino
Someone has taken a screener of Destino and put it online!
Destino is the animation project begun but never finished by Walt Disney and Salvador Dali in 1946. It was shelved because of financial concerns, and remained incomplete for over 50 years. Roy Disney unearthed it while working on Fantasia 2000; it was produced in Disney's French studio and meant for the aborted Fantasia 2006. Four shorts were completed--One on One and The Little Match Girl made it to DVD, but Lorenzo the Magnificent and Destino have yet to be released (although apparently Lorenzo was released with, oddly, Raising Helen in some theaters).
Destino apparently accompanied the release of Calendar Girls in some theaters, which qualified it for an Academy Award nomination in 2003. It was supposed to be released on DVD in 2007. Then it was supposed to play in front of Beverly Hills Chihuahua in 2008. Then it was going to go to DVD instead. And now it's supposedly going to be on DVD next year. I won't hold my breath. Which will come out first--Destino or Song of the South?
Can't they just compile all of these shorts together (along with some of the other recent shorts that haven't made it to home viewing) and RELEASE them so people can watch them?
Anyway, via The Daily What, here is Destino. Watch it before the film gets taken down. At 5:17, you can see the only animation done on the project in 1946--18 seconds of test footage.
Friday, July 03, 2009
The Invention of Lying
Another upcoming movie I want to see--at this point I'll see anything with Ricky Gervais, especially if he's writing.
Friday Playlist
1. Aretha Franklin: Gentle on My Mind
2. George Harrison: It’s What You Value
3. Gorillaz: Last Living Souls
4. Dixie Chicks: Sing
5. Brian Wilson: Out in the Country
6. Hayden Panettiere: I Fly
7. Prince & the New Power Generation: Gett Off
8. Tenacious D: Kielbasa
9. Richard & Linda Thompson: For Shame of Doing Wrong
10. Johnny Cash & Joe Strummer: Redemption Song
1. Awesome R&B cover from Soul '69.
2. From 33 & 1/3, which I think is an underrated album. I think George consistently put out great albums, he just didn't tend to go for the obvious singles and somehow got shunted aside. I think George's solo output, taken as a collection of albums, is probably the most listenable of any of the Beatles.
3. Decent track from Demon Days, which I didn't like as much as their first album.
4. Along with some Muppet chickens. This is from the Songs from the Street compilation of Sesame Street music.
5. Very dark, organ-heavy track from the Landylocked bootleg of unreleased music.
6. Poppy track from the Ice Princess soundtrack. A throwaway, but throwaways are fun.
7. Probably the most powerful of the bands Prince ever had behind him, although I prefer the Revolution. Amazingly, this is the first Prince track (and I have several of his albums on my iTunes) my shuffle has landed on since I started this. Weird. Great song. Does anyone remember the twins in this and the "Cream" video? Prince and his many protégés.
8. Awesomeness from the D. The line "your butt cheeks is warm" always cracks me up.
9. From the masterful Pour Down Like Silver album.
10. Johnny Cash and Joe Strummer duet from the Unearthed collection (outtakes from Johnny Cash's American Recordings sessions). Beautiful stuff, though I prefer the Strummer solo version the best. I'm not really a Bob Marley fan, but in this case he certainly wrote one hell of a song.
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon
I haven't read any of Stephen King's novels since the mid-nineties. For my money, his best period of work lasts from Carrie to It, and anything I've read published after 1987 isn't particularly good. So I'm not really sure why I sat down to read The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, except that I remember working at the bookstore when it came out and a bunch of people at the time told me it was really good. After Fight Club, I was looking for something less challenging that I could breeze through during my breaks at work.
I wasn't prepared, then, for The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, which is pretty traumatic. I'm not sure I'd say it was a good novel--Stephen King always has a tendency to go too far with the mysticism, which is usually where he loses me--but it was something I had to finish. It deals with a little girl, a baseball fan, who gets lost in the woods when hiking with her constantly-arguing brother and mother, and tries to find her way back to civilization. As she journeys (as King, the omniscient narrator, tells us, further away from the people who are out looking for her), she becomes sick and starts having fever dreams, and is certain some thing is following her and testing her fear.
Frankly, it's kind of traumatic. I had to finish it because I was so worried about what was going to happen to the girl as she drank fetid water and felt her stomach twist and fell down hills and encountered a hornet's nest. The problem is that the details are so disgusting (turns out that meaty is, in fact, the grossest word one can use to describe a burp) and too often unrelentingly so (she's constantly got mosquitoes biting her in the eye), and it becomes such a gross book to read that I really wanted to keep it at arm's length. But I just had to make sure the little girl was going to be okay. So, if King's intent was to unrelentingly horrify, gross out, traumatize, emotionally manipulate, and batter the reader, mission accomplished.
I don't think King is very good at getting us into the psyche of a nine year-old girl, but he's very good at getting us into the psyche of a baseball fan. The bright spots are the times she listens to the Red Sox play on her Walkman and imagines conversations with Tom Gordon, her favorite player. Those are often moments of extreme optimism that shine through the darkness of the book.
I don't really know how I feel about this book. It's very visceral. I don't know if I'd say it was well-written, but it's certainly effective. I don't know if I'm glad I read this book. I don't think I'd ever recommend it to another person. I think I'm just glad I survived.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Inglorious Basterds
This international trailer is way better than the American trailers so far. Can't wait to see this movie.
Also, here's the column I wrote about the talk that Harvey Weinstein wants the film severed by 40 minutes.
Linkformers
By the 10s! Super Duck and Casper the Friendly Ghost (Random Acts of Geekery)
:: Becca's Baroness pin-up is amazing. (No Smoking in the Skullcave)
:: Speaking of the Baroness, Reis wonders why they can't get the action figure right. He's also got some awesome geeky E.T. paintings by Scott Campbell and some awesome Star Wars Lego shots. (Geek Orthodox)
:: Why wouldn’t Archie want to marry Betty? The answer is simple. Betty Cooper is motherfucking psycho bugfuck crazy. Yes she is! Seriously. No, seriously. (Mighty God King)
:: "The Autobiography of JGB" by JG Ballard. You should read more speculative fiction. (The New Yorker)
:: Some more movie titles improved with the word "motherfucker." (I, Splotchy)
:: Classic Red Sonja comic. (Diversions of the Groovy Kind)
I dig the way Jonathan Pacheco rediscovers The Muppet Movie. (Edward Copeland on Film)
:: Best animated GIF ever. (Geekologie)
:: Behold, the pants of Spider-Man! (Chris' Invincible Super Blog)
:: Fun Facts about the Firehouse Five Plus Two (2719 Hyperion)
:: 6 animated films that had massive upheaval midproduction (Den of Geek)
:: Julie Newmar in Playboy (No Smoking in the Skullcave)
:: The cutest yawn ever captured on camera. (YouTube)
:: What are TV shouters telling their viewers? They use such anger in expressing their opinions. Who are they trying to convince? They're preaching to the choir. Their viewers already agree with them. No minds are going to be changed. Why are they so mad? In a sense they're saying: You're right, but you're not right ENOUGH! I'm angrier about this than you are! Viewers may get the notion that there's unfinished business to be done, and it's up to them to do it. (Roger Ebert)
There Is No Star Trek Canon: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three (Postmodern Barney)
:: Even after 28 years, her husband’s murder must be a horrible pain to bear, but Yoko Ono is marketing — exploiting — her widowhood a little too publicly and cynically, exemplified by that “John would say…” shtick, as if Lennon was a sage-like Confucius rather than a complex man with some serious limitations. No matter how swell Yoko thought her husband was, it is nauseating. It perpetuates the false notion that Lennon had special insights into the human condition. Like, he invented peace, brother man! One might expect evangelical Lennonians to sport wristbands enquiring WWJS (What Would John Say). The canonisation of John Lennon is a lie. (Any Major Dude with Half a Heart)
:: We believe that all undesirable things can be eliminated by legislation. In England this has gotten so far out of hand that that a 10-year-old boy is forbidden to cross a parking lot, and girls can't skip rope on public property. In America, have you seen grade school football players recently? They wear more armor than Robocop. It's safer for them to sit on the sofa and blow people up in video games. (Roger Ebert)
:: The 10 Biggest Female Celebrity Douchebags Boy, there are so many more than 10, but this list sure is a good start. Especially Cameron Diaz. (Manofest)
The complete Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in one minute:
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Diane Webber Website
I was alerted today about a new website devoted to the late, beautiful Diane Webber/Marguerite Empey. It's a devoted site with more information about Diane than I've ever seen before. I always knew her as a favorite nude model. But there's more to her than that. Take a look.
Film Week
A review of the films I've seen this past week.
PRINCESS PROTECTION PROGRAM (2009)
I liked this a great deal better than I've liked some of the flashier Disney Channel movies. Demi Lovato plays a princess who flees her small Caribbean nation under threat of assassination and enters the Princess Protection Program, a secret government organization that relocates such people to keep them out of harm's way. She goes to live with the agent who saved her and has to share a room--and a new life--with his daughter, Selena Gomez. Now, it helps right off the bat that Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez are tremendously likable actresses (Demi's especially grown since her terrible performance in that idiot Camp Rock movie) and that their characters aren't written into the usual Princess Diaries or Mean Girls cliches. It makes other, more shallow girls in the movie--and the performance of her would-be usurper, which is pretty tongue-in-cheek--easier to accept. And the Princess Protection Program itself, which is a silly concept, is played straight instead of for laughs, and that lends a lot to the movie. But what I liked about it most is its message. A lot of recent Disney Channel movies fail for me as far as pushing terrible messages to kids. Here, the messages of what friendship entails and the importance of accepting responsibility and knowing when to be selfless were pitched at just the right level. I really liked that. *** stars.
A FACE IN THE CROWD (1957)
Astonishing criticism of the media that I'm sorry it took me this long in my life to see. Andy Griffith stars as Lonesome Rhodes, a drifter with a guitar who becomes a sensation on the radio with his colloquial style, homespun songs, and earnest stories. As his fame grows, so does his power, and really starts to take advantage of it, heading into television and finally becoming involved in politics. Rhodes is a sleaze at heart, an opportunist who has learned how to manipulate people for anything he wants and is attracted to the media because it affords him the ability to manipulate people on a larger scale. Griffith's performance is excellent; it's the same persona he used on The Andy Griffith Show, but with a seductive and dangerous edge to it. I'm amazed he didn't win any awards for a very realistic, almost scary performance as a real monster who seems so charming. Patricia Neal, as the woman who discovers him and falls in love with him, is harshly taken to task in the script for not being able to see through him as well as Walter Matthau, as a journalist who wants to expose Rhodes for the charlatan he is. That little detail is the one thing that really sets the movie in the 1950s for me; otherwise, it could've been made last year. It's nothing short of amazing how often people need to learn about the way they're manipulated by the media--and how often it still works in our supposedly media-savvy times. A powerful, smart, captivating film. **** stars.
BARON PRASIL (1961)
First off, I wanna say thanks to Frank for getting me in touch with this movie. I was bowled over by it. I wish I could share some of the imagery here. This film, about the adventures of Baron Munchausen, was one of the most visually arresting films I've ever seen, up there with The Adventures of Prince Achmed and The Thief and the Cobbler. The film looks, purposely, like 19th century Orientalist art. The effects--sometimes cut-out, sometimes stop motion, sometimes animation--reminded me a lot of Georges Meilies, another amazing visualist (and were obviously an inspiration to Terry Gilliam). Oddly, this reminds me of being a kid, because it has this sort of dreamlike quality to it--something mysterious and misty. I couldn't understand the dialogue--it's in Czech--but I didn't find that to be an impediment. In fact, it added something else wondrous to the movie, because the story is so much in the visuals and the adventure and the backdrops. The film works in a number of the Baron's more famous adventures--angering the Sultan, trapped inside the giant fish, riding the cannonball, dining on the moon--and weaves them into a story about a modern astronaut meeting the Baron on the moon and joining in his adventures in a fairy tale version of Turkey. It's wonderful. Truly wonderful. **** stars.
70 Years of the Sandman
70 years ago this month, Wesley Dodds first appeared in Adventure Comics #40.
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