Miss Brant, Where Are My Links?

Comic Book Character Facebook Status Updates

:: Most of us in the US are familiar with the cryptid Sasquatch (or Bigfoot) and its Asian counterpart the Yeti (or Abominable Snowman). Those are far from the only mysterious giant apes or hominids lurking in either deep forests or our imagination. In fact, such rarely-seen animals are reported all over the world.

:: We are a pretty forgiving society when it's convenient. So what if Halle Berry has a habit of hit and run mayhem? She showed her rack in Swordfish. If we're fond enough of your music, movies or boobs, you can get busted committing what's known as an "atrocity" when done by someone who isn't cool. If we like you, all you have to do is sit back and wait for our short attention spans to take over, and the good will to return. (In the USA, it works like this: rape a kid and you're a monster; rape a kid, record Thriller, and die when you're still young, you're a damn saint.)

:: The 6 Most Frequently Quoted Bullshit Animal Statistics (Damn you, cartoons, for giving me the wrong impressions.)

:: Be Nice: Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned from Patrick Swayze (Maybe I should finally see Road House.)

:: At midnight on Monday evening, copies of the latest book by Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol, went on sale to interested consumers of fast paced bullshit. A direct sequel to The Da Vinci Code, the new novel features Brown’s go-to protagonist Robert Langdon, performing all manner of breathtaking off-the-cuff art appreciation while on the run from shadowy forces. More than that, Brown’s latest is a stirring gong clash for the publishing world: proof that you don’t need wizards or vampires to make your book a bestseller, so long as you write for a fifth grade audience. (My wife's Borders stayed open past midnight for the release of this book; no one showed up to buy it. I think the day of the "event novel" has recessed again.)

:: Final Notice: Big Trouble in Little China Sequel

:: 15 Companies That Originally Sold Something Else

:: And Cobra Commander is going to end up being the scrawny kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun?

:: I would love to think that at the very least, the poor ratings will eat away at Leno – but let’s be honest, if he actually cared about anything besides the money, his show wouldn’t be a giant pile of mediocrity in the first place. (I avoid Leno like a nasty case of Montezuma's Revenge.)

:: 11 Famous Actors and the Big TV Roles They Turned Down

:: 10 Film Set Tragedies

:: Lesser Known Documentaries by Ken Burns

:: 6 Beloved TV Shows That Traumatized Cast Members for Life (Just watching Kirk Cameron on Growing Pains traumatized me for life.)

:: Brinke Stevens! (I hugged her once. I've been in love with her since I was 12.)

:: By the 10s: Marvel Premiere (I'm so glad Jon is done with Harvey Comics. The endless Richie Rich spin-offs were crazy! I'm hoping for some more Disney comics some day, he hinted broadly like an obnoxious trog.)

:: Pics from the Upcoming Clash of the Titans Remake (Maybe it'll be fun, like the original was, but right now it looks like Troy crossed with Dune, and that's just not a good thing.)

Hey, remember when Mr. Rogers went to the crayon factory? Is that a touchstone for you, too? Well, here it is: