Thursday, May 07, 2009

My Favorite Crank Email Ever: Scarlett Johansson Is a Clone

I added nothing and deleted nothing. It needs to be taken in as a whole.

IT IS NOT A SPAM, but if you received that message second and plus time JUST CLICK DELETE button and have a nice day. Don't feel bad, please understand original Scarlett's family very desperate to shut down that humiliating antichristian "actress" clones line career development. Hello dear Ladies and Gentlemen! I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson ?actress? actually is a clone from original person Scarlett Galabekian last name, who has nothing with acting career, surname Galabekian, because of adoption happened in 1992. Clones was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d**n sexy),most important - CHRISTIAN young lady! I'll tell you more,those clones (it's not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Rhineland-Palatinate, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff strictly controlling all their clones (at least they trying) spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well. Original person is not happy with those movies, images, video, rumors and etc. spreading on media in that way it would be really nice if we all will try slow down that ''actress'' career development, original Scarlett will really appreciated that. Please remember that original Scarlett's family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created in it was stolen and it is stolen. It all need to be delivered to authorize personals control in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Original Scarlett never was engaged, by the way!

Her close friend

Serge G.

P.S. CONTROLLING ACTIVITY OF ANY CLONES IS US MILITARY OPERATION.

Well, at least now I kind of understand why she left me for Ryan Reynolds. Or, well, she didn't; she just got cloned.

5 comments:

aironlater said...

If she were a clone, I would have to find the other so that I could marry her.

MC said...

I guess they didn't include directing or singing ability in this particular model.

PJ said...

Methinks someone has confused that movie 'The Island' with reality.

Nice idea though, those renegade scientists in Ludwigshafen am Rhein should knock up a few more of those clones - I'm sure they'd sell well.

SamuraiFrog said...

I'm sure they would. I'd buy five Scarlett Johanssons myself. Then, eventually, they would rise up against me, but it would have been worth the ride getting there.

Nathan said...

So the original Scarlett was a good Christian woman, but never got engaged? I thought all good Christians got married to the guys who knocked them up at the age of 15!