Throwdown 2/6

Random thoughts, questions, and observations for the week.

1. Michael Phelps was hitting a bong… does anyone really give a shit? I think the real lesson young people should learn today is to stop living their lives on camera. They’re not as interesting as they think they are.

2. Best quote ever: “…for those of you who aren’t gamers, Xbox Live is an online homophobia club for pre-teen Tourette’s sufferers."

3. Gwyneth Paltrow finally realized how many people in the world just don’t like her, and asked “How could people hate me, my intentions or what I’m trying to do? I’m a good person and I’m trying to put good things into the world?” Someone just jumped the shark on detached pretension there. Gwyneth, seriously, the worst thing to do would be to respond with “how could people hate me, I’m so wonderful and good.” It just makes you look weak. And like you live in your own asshole.

4. Etta James is mad at Beyonce for singing “At Last” for President and First Lady Obama at the inauguration. She doesn’t like Beyonce singing “her” song. I wonder if she’s also mad at Nat “King” Cole for recording the song in 1957, three years before Etta recorded her own version. Or if she’s mad at Glenn Miller, who first hit the charts with “At Last” in 1942. After he performed it in the film Orchestra Wives in 1941. The song was written by Mack Gordon and Harry Warren, But, you know, it’s “her” song. (Seriously, though, Etta’s At Last! is a great album you should all own.) Etta James now says she was only kidding, and that she was just being a comedian, but that Beyonce still didn’t do the song justice. Now that’s a diva; she just apologized to Beyonce and insulted her at the same time. Awesome.

5. The silly feud between Faye Dunaway and Hilary Duff deepens. Duffster responded to Faye’s “Couldn’t they at least cast a real actress?” with “I think that my fans that are going to see the movie don't even know who Dunaway is. I think it was a little unnecessary, but I might be mad if I looked like that now, too.” I’d call it a draw. Duff could easily have stopped with suggesting that Faye Dunaway was irrelevant to her generation of fans (unless they’re carrying a torch for the epic Dunston Checks In or have watched too many of Showtime’s late night airings of Cougar Club), but she did find the right insecurity button on Faye Dunaway’s looks. Ouch. Still, I mostly think Faye Dunaway deserves it. You criticize, you get it back. Still, I’m sure Faye Dunaway likes the attention. She’s probably missed it the last 30 years.

6. Scientists cloned an extinct species, the Pyrenean ibex. It died soon after birth because of a lung defect, but this is the first time an extinct species has been cloned. Are dinosaurs far behind?

7. Okay, I like this one better than the zombie one.

8. The DVD industry is once again complaining that rentals are eating into DVD sales. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that they insisted on an average $25 sale price when the Supreme Court ruled that the industry could set price minimums.

9. Well, Daschle’s gone, which is encouraging. And it was nice to see President Obama admit he made a mistake. Bush never admitted his mistakes, and he had many to choose from. A president who believes in accountability is going to take some getting used to. And one who puts principle above loyalty.

10. Are you buying this CEO executive compensation cap? It’s hard to feel sorry for these whiners coming forward and claiming that $500,000 “isn’t very much money” (it’s still over five times the median salary in this country), and it is nice to see the government demanding something of these companies that took the bailout money, but how is it going to help fix the economy? (Actually, I’ve just read that Goldman Sachs wants to avoid restrictions the government is placing on it by paying back their $10 billion in bailout funds as soon as possible. So maybe it will work.)

11. Eric Holder was confirmed as Attorney General. 21 Republicans voted against him. Some did so, get this, because Holder wouldn’t promise not to prosecute CIA operatives who tortured detainees. Imagine that, an Attorney General who gives a shit about the law.

12. I think it’s hilarious that Michael Steele was named head of the RNC. I see him on Real Time once a year, and he’s not exactly the sharpest pencil in the jar. A lot of people cried “tokenism” right away, while David Duke went the opposite way and decried Steele as a racist (and believe me, if anyone knows racism, it’s Grand Wizard Duke). I don’t know, Steele is pretty unremarkable as a politician; just because he criticized the government’s mishandling of Katrina and Iraq does not make him a “moderate” or a “maverick” or anything I’ve been reading. The Republican Party is just to the left of the Nazi Party when it comes to enforcing lockstep loyalty; they’re not going to put anyone in charge who will shake them up (or defy the great god Rush). And for his part, Steele has said he’s not a moderate. It really does look like an attempt on the part of the GOP to say “Forget the McCain campaign! We’re not racists! See, we’ve got a black guy, too!” He also says the government has never created a single job. You mean, like, Lt. Governor of Maryland, which he once was? (Credit where credit is due: at least Steele acknowledges that the GOP needs to reach out to gay and pro-choice voters. It’s ridiculous, since party ideology will strike down any attempt to concede on gay rights or abortion rights, but at least Steele is trying. He’s also another role model for anyone who failed out of college, failed the bar, but made it into a figurehead position, anyway.)

13. I think when you’ve got Republican governors and mayors coming forward and telling the GOP to stop screwing around and pass the recovery bill, it’s time to just give up and admit you’ve lost on this one. These governors and mayors have to deal with these problems in reality; problems that the Republicans in Congress just have to talk about and theorize on with the usual deep thoughts they have (“Grrr! Tax cuts! Tax cuts solve all!”). Anyone pushing tax cuts these days has no clue what they’re talking about. I don’t know what the answer is, but we’ve had tax cuts for most of the decade now and they haven’t helped at all; we had an idiot man-child in charge who thought you could reduce the stream of money available for government spending, and then spend more than any president ever had. Christ, Republicans, even St. Reagan raised taxes. Like I said, I don’t know what the answer is; I’m not sure anyone does. But doing nothing is worse than doing something.

14. That said, the recovery bill is being parsed in the media with nothing but Republican talking points. Why aren’t there more people out there explaining this to me? Where are these economists who support it? Why aren’t they on the news explaining what this bill does? Why isn’t Obama talking about specifics in an attempt to gain support? Hell, he has that gigantic email list. Try giving that a whirl for something other than donations, huh? The Washington Post editorial was a step in the right direction. Is Obama finally done dicking around on this and going on the offensive to win this stupid PR war?

15. My favorite story about the recovery bill, though, is the one about Governor Rick Perry of Texas. He’s been an extremely outspoken opponent of the bill. When asked if he intends to live up to his principles and not accept the recovery money if the bill passes, he made it clear that he intended to take the money. Conservatism is a massive fraud. For eight years, Republicans presided over the largest deficit spending increase in American history. Any claim they had to fiscal conservatism (or even responsibility) is long gone. (Side note: Sarah Palin, who is apparently involved in Texas politics now, is urging voters to support Perry over Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson in 2010; Palin once said there was a special place in hell reserved for women who don’t support other women.)

16. This is the best the GOP can offer now? Whining about the Fairness Doctrine, which no one has made an attempt to revive? Bitching about Obama not wearing a jacket to work? (Took about 3 seconds to find a picture of Bush not wearing a jacket; how about Andrew Card apologizes for yet another misplaced outrage distraction?) Dick Cheney being his usual America-hating self? And attempting to show up Obama as some kind of liar because he’s allowed the CIA to keep renditions by conflating rendition with torture? (If he hadn’t, they’d be calling him weak on terror and law enforcement.) I’ve been thinking a lot about Republicans and bipartisanship this week. I think Obama needs to stop reaching out to the Right for now and let them sink their own ship. They need it. They need to be destroyed in order to rebuild into something thoughtful (or at least reasonable). Democrats, give it up: “bipartisanship” does not mean that Republicans are automatically going to cave in on every issue. That’s unrealistic. And Republicans, “bipartisanship” does not mean that you get everything you want no matter what. That’s equally stupid. I don’t care about bipartisanship; I care about genuine thought and solving problems. Bipartisanship is an idealist fantasy we shouldn’t be wasting our time on. I’m not a Democrat or a Republican because I don’t care to put ideology before thinking. If you’re in Washington right now and you’re playing the partisanship game because you want your “side” to “win,” then you have no business in the job you’re in. I want solutions, not petty games and window dressing compromises. Do your job. Attempting to be obstructionist just because you think you’re losing is like a toddler stamping their feet: the impotent, meaningless gesture of someone with no power. We should really be ignoring them until they have solutions to offer that don’t amount to “investing in America is the wrong thing to do.” Are they seriously trying to just continue the same policies of the last 8 years? Look around, guys, it didn’t work.

17. Oh, wait… the GOP has even better to offer: Joe the Plumber is now a GOP advisor. A time of major economic crisis and the GOP is turning to an unlicensed plumber for financial advice? To a guy who doesn’t pay his taxes? I’m sure he’s got a lot of thoughts on how President Obama might tax his non-existent fantasy business, but what qualifies him as a serious political advisor? His big advice this week on the recovery was that the government should “just cut its bills like other people do.” I guess when you’re a tax dodger, that makes more sense. He also posited “I don’t know if the American people deserve me.” The American people deserve a lot, pal, but certainly not you. And certainly not Republicans relying on a campaign prop, a token black man, populist idiot Sarah Palin, and cryptofascist blowhard Rush Limbaugh to make it look like they give a damn what Middle America has to say. I can only assume the GOP loves its new found and well-deserved obsolescence and wants more of it.

18. I’m adding this one in at the last minute: I’m reading now that scientists have succeeded in teleportation. The science is very complicated for a dilettante like me, so I’d recommend the article, but the short of it is that scientists at the Joint Quantum Institute have made a milestone in quantum information processing by teleporting information from one atom to another at a distance of about one meter. It’s a significant step. And friggin’ awesome.