Saturday, October 11, 2008

Halloween: The Haunted House

Mickey Mouse parties with spooks, ghouls, and skeletons in 1929.

My Little Cthulhu (and More)

I found these wonderful custom My Little Ponys that are made and sold on this deviantART page. Go there and check out the rest (including DC superheroes and Star Wars characters). I love these things.

Well Did You Evah? Halloween Edition


Passed out candy? Yes, long ago. When I was 13 we moved from our town house into a condo, and no one comes trick-or-treating to the condos. They're dimly lit and they're right on the edge of a very busy street that basically cuts the neighborhood in half. My mom wouldn't let me go to those condos when I was trick-or-treating, and I guess she wasn't the only one.

Now I live in the mostly-student apartments on the edge of town, and no kids come over here because it's practically the NIU campus.

Bobbed for apples? Once, back when I was in grade school. It wasn't thrilling.

Gone to a pumpkin patch? Yes, many times. I love pumpkin patches. I just love being surrounded by all of those pumpkins. It reminds me of being little.

Hosted a Halloween Party? No, but I'm anti-social.

Attended a Halloween Party? Not since I was a kid. Nobody really asks me to things, and I don't really know a ton of people.

Made pumpkin pie? Not personally, but I sure have pestered people into making them for me. God damn it, I love pumpkin pie.

Raked leaves? Yes, and it sucks. It seems to me it's mostly enjoyed by the type of people who think they're missing out because their lives aren't an idyllic 17th Century drudgery. Thankfully, I've been without a yard for the last 19 years of my life, so I don't have to worry about that.

Watched the Travel Channel with the Halloween specials? No. I didn't know the Travel Channel had Halloween specials. Frankly, I'm not sure what channel the Travel Channel comes up as on my cable. The Travel Channel falls under a broad category for me: television for people who have nothing to do on Saturdays because they're not interested in anything, so for a day they're interested in everything. Snobbish? Perhaps. But I don't claim to be any better.

I'm Naked!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Halloween: Remains of the Day

I didn't care much for anything in Corpse Bride, with two exceptions. First, Danny Elfman's excellent score which, like his best scores, sounds perfect divorced from the film's imagery. And the second thing I like is this song (the only good one of the crappy songs in this movie--seriously, what an underwhelming movie). It's got a cartoony, Tin Pan Alley sort of thing going for it and, with Elfman singing, it's about as close to Oingo Boingo as it gets these days.

Allen, I need to watch Forbidden Zone again, too. It's so the perfect time for it.

Throwdown 10/10

Completely political thoughts, questions, and observations for the week.

1. George W. Bush is going to address the nation in about 20 minutes, to reassure us all that the economic crisis isn’t turning into a depression. Is there anyone out there who actually finds this clown reassuring? I figure that Bush will try to calm the nation, with panicked selling ensuing five minutes later and Bush finally declaring martial law. Seriously, the surest sign that things are about to go wrong is tht Bush's administration is working on the problem. It's going to be a lot worse than inflation.

2. It’s funny catching pieces of The View now that Hasselbeck is in full meltdown mode. I think it’s hilarious that she thinks she’s being persecuted because she’s pro-McCain. I mean, Sherri isn’t persecuted because she thinks dragons exist on the edge of the flat world. I caught Hasselbeck’s little tirade where she basically repeated all of the McCain talking points; man, he should put her on the payroll or buy her a dinner or something. It’s not really news that she’s a fucking idiot, but at least her misdirected hysteria is incredibly funny. Nice tits, by the way. What, you want a compliment of this woman based on substance? She needs to show some first.

3. Dick Fuld, the CEO of Lehman Brothers, went before Congress and blamed everyone but himself for the collapse of the company. Apparently, while working out at his own gym, someone walked up to Fuld and punched him in the face, knocking him unconscious. Meager justice, but at least it’s some kind of justice. I think anyone who spots this guy should feel free to take a swing of their own.

4. So, what gets me now is not that AIG had a $450,000 retreat to celebrate their $84 billion government buy-in. It’s that they were planning on having another one. And that the government is giving them more money. You know, since we, the taxpayers, essentially own the company now, isn’t it time that some of us went down there and started making business decisions of our own? Seriously, head on over and sit in on a board meeting. Their worker’s comp office is at 70 Pine Street in New York, on the 36th floor, I think. I’m sure they’ll tell you where you can find someone in charge. Be polite.

5. Unsurprisingly, the NRA endorsed McCain. Surprisingly, it didn’t affect his numbers. Man, nothing’s going to save this guy.

6. You know what creeps Becca out about John McCain? The gigantic shoulder pads he wears under that jacket. She’s convinced he’s hiding a hump in that jacket. It makes him look like a Weeble waddling around.

7. Joe Biden had my favorite quote about McCain this week, calling him “an angry man lurching from one position to another.” That about sums it up. No, wait, this one was even better: “You can’t call yourself a maverick when all you’ve ever been is a sidekick.”

8. Last week, the McCain camp had a rally in Anchorage. Only about 250 or 300 people showed up. Why? Everyone else was at the very crowded Obama rally. So, the right would have us believe that the Obama campaign is floundering in its death throes… meanwhile John McCain suddenly can’t even carry his running mate’s home state? Some days, I feel really good about where this election is headed.

9. John McCain unveiled a $300 billion plan for the government to buy mortgages for massively inflated prices in order to protect fraudulent lenders. Sorry, but that’s what it comes down to. He calls it the American Homeownership Resurgence Plan, but it’s really another buyout to protect the same financial institutions that are tearing down the global economy. It increases the burden on the taxpayers and will put even more people at risk of losing their homes. And he dares to attack Obama on obscene government spending and government control of healthcare? When McCain’s for government control of banks? You know, like Castro? Why are people still planning on voting for this guy? Hey, Joe Sixpack and Hockey Mom, these assholes do not care about you. At Tuesday’s debate, McCain didn’t even mention the middle class, because he has no idea who they are or what they’re up against, and he doesn’t care. He has not proposed a single idea that would address the actual causes of the economic crisis. All he’s done besides this new plan to save the mortgage brokers is vote for the Splurge and then immediately denounce it. There’s no plan to help you in any way.

10. And here’s New York Times columnist Bob Herbert commenting on McCain’s phony tax credit and his evil healthcare plan: “That will be guaranteed to end in disaster because what he wants to do is essentially deregulate the healthcare insurance industry. So what happens is a health insurance company sets up in a state that has the least regulations, so what happens now is if you purchase private healthcare, you may have a plan that says you get breast examinations that are covered or covered if you have a pre-existing condition or you’re covered for an ordinary annual checkup. Well if the company is set up in a state that says you don’t have to provide that coverage, well, guess what? Do we think that they’re going to provide it? No, they’re not going to provide it. So you’re going to get healthcare that is of a much lesser value. This is exactly what they want to do […] They want healthcare to go into the marketplace. They don’t want healthcare provided on the job.” Here’s another explanation, much more comprehensibly explained than McCain has been capable of doing.

11. Here’s something I agree with John McCain on: Cindy McCain is a cunt. She thinks Obama is running the dirtiest campaign ever? Really? Ever? He’s not even running as dirty a campaign as your creepy husband is. All of his ads are negative now. Your husband, the man who promised to run a respectable campaign. I wonder if John McCain remembers that he said this when he was running for president in 2000: “Sooner or later, people are going to figure out if all you do is run negative attack ads you don’t have much of a vision for the future or you’re not ready to articulate it.” Oh, and before you blast Senator Obama for voting against a war appropriations bill, Cindy, you’d best make sure that your husband didn’t do the same thing.

12. Obama’s stance on the smear attacks not being used in the debates: “Well, I am surprised that, you know, we’ve been seeing some pretty over-the-top attacks coming out of the McCain campaign over the last several days that he wasn’t willing to say it to my face.” So, he just called you a coward, McCain. What do you do next? Continue lobbing specious attacks from the safety of advertisements?

13. I knew everyone was going to jump on McCain referring to Obama as “that one” during the debate, and they really should have. Personally, I don’t think McCain’s a racist. I really don’t. I think he’s a dick. I think he’s an arrogant, imperious prick who thinks Obama is beneath him. I think McCain would act this way—not looking at him, not shaking his hand in the Senate, calling him names—if Obama were white. I just think that he doesn’t understand that his callous behavior is going to be construed as racist. I don’t think he thinks about it. I think he’s so certain that such behavior isn’t racially motivated that he thinks no one else will think it is, either. Trouble is he’s wrong.

14. Note to Republicans on this whole William Ayers thing: no one cares. No one. It’s a non-starter, and you’re just getting rid of your last lingering bit of integrity by lowering yourself into the muck on this one. Lots of people did radical shit in the sixties, and Ayers has reformed. It’s over now. But, you know, thanks for finally opening yourself up to an attack on Keating and the Contra-involved U.S. Council for World Freedom. Seriously, no one gives a shit about Ayers except crazy bitches repeating the talking points like Palin, Hannity, and Hasselbeck.

15. Many of you have already seen this; this is the 13-minute video going around that delineates John McCain’s role as one of the Keating Five and the lessons he hasn’t learned since. (I grabbed this from Suzy.) If you haven’t watched it yet, please take the time to do so. It’s important because it raises serious questions about McCain’s judgment, not only at the time, but now as well. His chief financial advisor is the guy who wrote most of the deregulation laws that have led to our economic near-collapse.

16. Speaking of Keating, if this letter is real (in the handwriting, McCain tells Keating “I’m yours until death do us part”), I think it’s over for McCain. Check out the article. It’s in the Washington Times, so let skepticism reign.

17. Remember when Rolling Stone used to have decent political reporting? Well, they do again. Check out these articles on McCain and Palin supporters that you must read. It’s some eye-opening stuff.

18. By the way… at this moment, I don’t have the heart or strength to talk about what’s going on in various states regarding the voter purges and the illegal registrations and all of the shit Republicans are trying to pull in order to steal another election (which, at this point, is the only way McCain will win). We can’t let this happen again, because if it does, we are well and truly lost. If Ohio and Florida turn into battlegrounds again, we can’t just concede like we did in 2004. Think about what we can do to solve this before Election Day.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Halloween: Bimbo's Initiation

I had really annoying computer issues all day, and I'm too pissed to come up with anything coherent to say. So, here's the Halloween post: the Fleischer cartoon Bimbo's Initiation, which was requested by Allen L. It's a bizarre cartoon, full of that great surreality the Fleischers always had. It's also the spankingest cartoon of all time. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday, Crimson Avenger

He first appeared in Detective Comics #20, 70 years ago this month.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Halloween: Dancing Ghosts and Betty Boop

A couple of song sequences from Betty Boop cartoons directed by Dave Fleischer.

First, here's Cab Calloway singing "St. James Infirmary" in the cartoon Snow White. Beautiful rotoscoping on KoKo the Clown as he dances through the Mystery Zone, even turning into a ghost, softshoeing his way after Betty's coffin.

And second, which I've posted before, is the song sequence from Minnie the Moocher. Once again that's Cab (of course) singing the song, this time in a cave and much to the terror of Betty and Bimbo. Love the dancing skeletons and ghostly chorus, but my favorite bit will always be Cab as a dancing ghost walrus (again, beautiful rotoscoping). After that, things get all kinds of weird.

Film Week

A review of the films I've seen this past week.

Leslie Howard grapples with his marriage to beautiful, lissome Myrna Loy and his true love for the wholly inadequate Ann Harding. Not much to this one. * star.

Oh, that's unfortunate. Freddie Highmore (who I always like) plays a kid staying with his grandmother (Mia Farrow), but has to find a storybook race of natives, the Minimoys, in order to save the family farm and his grandfather. The Minimoys and all of the other creatures are computer animated. First off, I know this is based on some French children's book, but the character design is a complete rip-off from Brian Froud. He could probably sue, honestly. Did he have anything to do with this? Because the lack of a screen credit for Brian Froud is a travesty. Second off, it's your typical Luc Besson fare: the unsophisticated French humor, the weird pedophilic references, the just plain wrong idea that Rastafarians are inherently funny, the frankly insulting belief that Jimmy Fallon is hilarious, the inability to find a central tone... it's nothing new, and the animation and dialogue fly past too quickly to connect. Nearly every voice actor comes off badly--especially Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel, Fallon, Snoop Dogg, Emilio Estevez, and Chazz Palminteri--because their performances are too rushed to find any character. They're flat and lifeless. Oddly enough, Madonna does pretty well as the princess, if only because her usual flat and lifeless line readings sounded natural in comparison. I'll give her this one. Still, the suggestion of a romance between a character played by Madonna and young Freddie Highmore was unintentionally creepy. David Bowie's vocals as the villain were superb, and Jason Bateman as his dorky-yet-menacing son was hilarious. A real loss, despite the animation being very good-looking (again, mainly because of the Froud rips). I'm not sorry I saw it, but I'm not glad of it, either. It could have really been something. **1/2 stars.

Very handsome but ultimately very unfulfilling epic about a pioneer couple in an Oklahoma boom town. I wish I had more to say about this Best Picture winner, but it left me cold. I have nothing to say. ** stars.

Bad. And not in a fun way. In an unwatchable way. No stars.

MOGAMBO (1953)
John Ford's remake of Victor Fleming's 1932 film Red Dust, with Clark Gable again in the role of an adventurer torn between two women. In the earlier film, he was a rubber plantation owner torn between lusty Jean Harlow and married Mary Astor; this time, he's an African hunter torn between lusty Ava Gardner and married Grace Kelly. Gable collects animals for zoos and circuses, and there's some excellent animal photography that's probably the best part of the film. Of course, it's still a great film, but not quite as great as Red Dust. ***1/2 stars.

PULSE (2006)
I love Kristen Bell, but this movie was impossible to watch. And what could be watched was impossibly stupid. No stars. If I could give it less than that, I would.

Incredibly good low budget horror based on H.P. Lovecraft. Jeffrey Combs stars in his signature role as Herbert West, a medical student interested in the reanimation of dead flesh. He enlists the help of his roommate, much to the horror of his sexy girlfriend, Barbara Crampton, who is also lusted after by one of their professors. It's all very sick and messed-up and bloody as hell, but it's fucking great. **** stars. I'm sorry I waited this long to see it, but so glad I finally did.

I watched this because of a number of Disney people in it and because last year's R.L. Stine movie, The Haunting Hour: Don't Think About It, was surprisingly good and believable. This one didn't come close (but this one didn't have Emily Osment, either, who is actually talented). Brian Stepanek was pretty funny as the villain, and David Deluise and sexy Kim Rhodes were funny as the parents, but everyone else pretty much sucked. All of the kids, and I mean all of them, were stilted and awful. I especially have to mention Ali Lohan, who really needs to never, ever act in anything ever again as long as she lives. Ouch, even by the standards of this shitty movie. Ouch. * star. Oh, also: this was directed terribly. Seriously, there's kids having a cute little romance, and then there's the creepy looks Madison Pettis kept giving the terrible kid in the lead. And I could have lived my whole life without Ali Lohan's cameltoe. I shouldn't know the exact shape and size of her vagina. Thanks a lot.

Aka Deathdream. I really wanted to like this Bob Clark film, because the premise was so interesting. It's about a family who are informed their son died in Vietnam, only to have him return home that very night. Of course, something's different about him, but no one's sure what. Meanwhile, people and animals keep turning up dead. And I'm always interested to see horror films of this period when they're reacting to the Vietnam War. But the execution is dull, slow; it's an attempt at ambience that doesn't quite come off, and the horror is mostly muted. Excellent makeup by Tom Savini, though. **1/2 stars. Clark's next film was the superior Black Christmas.

I can see why Michael Moore was giving this away for free. There's not really much to it; it's a record of the anti-Bush tour of college campuses he took in 2004, but it really sort of highlights the major weakness of the anti-Bush effort: it wasn't pro-Kerry. There wasn't much of a figure to rally behind, and for everything Moore says that's right on, he hardly ever mentions John Kerry. It's not the point of Moore's film, but it's a real weakness of the entire affair. Mostly it's a glorified commercial for Michael Moore; a real minor effort from a filmmaker I usually love. **1/2 stars.

Excellent Jean-Luc Godard film with Michel Piccoli as a screenwriter whose marriage to Brigitte Bardot (wonderful in this movie, like wounded eroticism in human form) is strained for reasons he can't quite grasp. He's courted by an American producer (Jack Palance, relishing the role of an oily businessman) who wants him to work on the screenplay for a film version of The Odyssey to be directed by Fritz Lang (playing himself). Throughout, Piccoli tries to get a handle on the screenplay and on what's happening with his wife; understanding the motivations of Ulysses seems to be a clue into his own relationship with his wife. (My favorite parts of the movie were scenes where Fritz Lang would wax philosophical on why Ulysses took so long to return home: boredom.) It's a brilliant movie, one which apparently mirrored Godard's own life (Contempt was a big budget movie for big producers--including Carlo Ponti--and his own marriage was falling apart). A real masterpiece of intellectualism, emotion, and eroticism. **** stars.

The Splurge Isn't Working

The Dow dropped again on Monday. And it's up again. George W. Bush is, of course, urging us to do the same thing he did with the Surge: "Give it time." Let's just wait and see how many people lose money, homes, and jobs before we can admit that the Splurge was always going to go to the wrong people, I suppose. I'm surprised, given the limited-yet-ever-changing Bush definitions of success, that the news that AIG execs went on a $400,000 retreat immediately after being bailed out isn't being used as some proof that bailouts work.

Anyway, I saw this morning that, after Bernanke went and whined about things not happening quickly enough, interest rates were cut again. Now, my knowledge of the economy is rudimentary at best, so I think I'm going to need this explained to me. Isn't cutting interest rates a mistake right now? Isn't this just going to cause inflation to rise even faster? Isn't that how this usually works? Wasn't artifically lowering interest rates part of what led us to this point?

Like I said, I'm not well-versed in this, but it sounds fishy to me. And, quite frankly, I refuse to believe anything Bernanke says. I think he has no idea what he's doing. Or, scarily, he does.

Can't wait for the tariffs to rise. Let's make all of Hoover's mistakes, shall we?

Blowfish Blow!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Halloween: Blasphemous Horrors

The Health Report, Year 2: Week 43

I'd rather be partying with these bunnies.

Actually, things are going okay. I've just been working a lot and not doing enough for my health. Last week I lost quite a bit of weight; unfortunately it was because of a brief stomach flu I had. So that weight's all back now.

I've also been drinking a lot of Gatorade, which has HFCS in it, but doesn't make me feel all bloated. It has less sodium than soda. I always drink it when I'm sick now, but I'm still enjoying it. Better than soda. You know, marginally...

Also, I've been cooking for myself so much that I don't eat any fast food anymore. I don't even want it, which seems kind of bizarre. I didn't think I'd ever get myself to this point.

Small victories, wherever they are.

No Time for Reason, Debate Tonight (and Other Thoughts Political)

1. The agreed-upon rules for tonight's town hall debate: Tom Brokaw will cull questions from a group of 100 to 150 uncommitted likely voters in the audience and one-third will come from the internet. Gallup will make sure the questioners reflect the demographic makeup of the nation. An audience member is not allowed to switch questions or ask a followup question, his/her microphone will be turned off after the question is read, and there will be no reaction shots of questioners. The moderator will not ask followup questions or make comments. McCain and Obama will not ask each other direct questions.

Well, that's unhelpful. Completely unhelpful. What's the point if there are no followup questions? Why can't a person who actually wants to lead this country be expected to answer all manner of questions and present their ideas without limits on how much they can speak and what they will or won't answer?

This is the same shit that happened last week, with the nothing VP debate. Somebody actually compared Sarah Palin to Ronald Reagan, saying she was a great speaker when she was, in fact, full of shit. Her folksy schtick is meaningless without actual facts, and it's facts that she does not have. She didn't accidentally set herself on fire, that means she won, right? If they'd asked her good followup questions, she would've crashed and burned; as it is, Biden wiped the floor with her ass and made her look woefully unprepared. She couldn't come up with a single cogent thought on policy, but right wingers love looking at her ass, so she's a genius.

God forbid the debates actually help candidates defend their positions. Instead, the useless media want sound bites. This idiot American insistence that noncommital even-handedness is somehow fair only adds to the confusion in these debates.

2. The Bush administration decided not to set up a diplomatic outpost in Iran because averting war would unfairly handicap McCain's campaign. No, seriously, that's actually the reason why, and that's what the Bush administration has said.

3. I'm glad the Obama camp is finally throwing Keating Five out there for the public. Yes, McCain was exonerated, but the ads have been very effective in bringing the hypocrite in McCain out into center stage. For the last 20 years, McCain has been saying, and I quote here, "Keating was my biggest crime and sin." Now he's saying that Obama is a smear artist for saying the same thing.

I'm glad to see this coming up, because McCain has not only ramped up the personal attacks, a campaign member fucking announced that this was going to be their strategy over the next four weeks. They tell us we're cynical because we find the Palin strategy unbelievable, but what I find even more cynical is the McCain camp's attempt to make Obama seem like a terrorist and a Muslim when neither is actually true. Both are demonstrably untrue, and they know it, but they know they can only win by lying about Obama as much as they can.

The shitty thing is that there's always someone who believes them.

John McCain's tactic of painting Obama as guilty by association (because he met William Ayers once) is desperate, and it's dangerous because it just sets Obama up to throw out Keating and the US Council for World Freedom, a communist-fighting organization that was dirty as hell and tied with Nazi collaborators and Central American death squads. The guy in charge said McCain was an active member back in the eighties. Take your Weather Underground claims and shove them up your ass, McCain. The McCain camp says he disassociated from the group. But he didn't actually resign.

4. How desperate is McCain? His camp is now saying that Obama's criticism of Bush's policies means that Obama is unpatriotic. McCain has always loved to say that he's Bush's biggest critic, something else demonstrably untrue. So... when is criticizing the president patriotic and when is it not?

5. The only issue this election should turn on is health care, I think. We all know that McCain wants to tax you on your health benefits, and his bullshit tax credit actually hurts you more than it helps you. We all know that McCain has talked about handing the health industry over to the same people who couldn't keep mortgage brokerages from tanking. Now it turns out that McCain plains to fund his health care plan by cutting $1.3 trillion from Medicare and Medicaid. I guess Social Security should get a big boost from all of the old people dying from lack of medical attention...

Seriously, the largest group of voters (who actually go out and vote) are senior citizens. You need to tell them that John McCain wants to cut Medicare and Medicaid. They will vote against him in droves. He doesn't care about them anymore than he cares about veterans.

6. McCain is also alienating the state of Virginia, a state which is slowly leaning Democrat this election. It probably doesn't help that McCain's brother recently "joked" that Northern Virginia was "communist country." Arlington is part of what Joe McCain considers "communist country." The best part? John actually owns a condo in Arlington.

Stupid fucking idiots. Well, Republicans aren't known for having senses of humor.

7. Sarah Palin said that freedom of the press, protected right up front by the First Amendment to the Constitution, is a "privilege" that the media abuses. She also said "There's a special place in hell reserved for women who don't support other women." Which is funny talk coming from a woman who wouldn't even support her own mother-in-law for public office. True story, look it up.

I fucking hate her and those cynical pseudo-feminists like her who run on their own agenda of personal revenge and greed and then claim that women should automatically, uncritically, thoughtlessly support everything she does because she's a woman, too.

Quite frankly, I'm still pissed at Palin for saying she wasn't going to answer questions during the debate. I found it rude and unprofessional, and especially callous to us, the American voters. She basically said it wasn't important that she be questioned; instead, she gave a shaky stump speech.

8. You know that study of grizzly bears that McCain loves to site as an example of wasteful government spending? Yeah, he voted for that. Got anything else?

9. Wait, wait... really? Here's a great little video (courtesy of Shuffleboil) of Sarah Palin welcoming the Alaska Independence Party convention. The 2008 convention. And the Alaska Independence Party's UN bid to become an independent nation was sponsored by Iran.

Wow... just wow.

UPDATE 7:41 PM: Actually, it's all in this video. Bless you, Keith Olbermann. He says it all.

Thanks to Allen L. for posting this video; I had to have it up here as well. And you should read his post; it's moving and I really identified with it.

Oh, and a side thought about what Olbermann says about Palin injecting race into this, well, race. Some reporter needs to ask her, flat out: "Are you a racist?" Let her answer.

UPDATE 10:13 PM: After watching tonight's debate, which again wasn't anything I hoped it would be, there's one health care issue that I still wish Obama would push. It goes like this: "Senator McCain, you're 72 years old. For most of your life, you have enjoyed the benefit of free health care as a federal employee. And thanks to that health care, you've survived cancer four times. You're alive today and able to campaign for the highest office in the United States because your life has been saved by a federally-funded health care system. How, in all good conscience, do you have the audacity to stand up in front of the American people and tell them that the exact same health care is not good enough for their children?"

Also, McCain needs to stop saying "My friends." I'm not his friend, he's not my friend, and I'm sick of being referred to as such.

Oh, and another thing that must be asked: McCain keeps saying he knows how to win a war? Can somebody just ask him how he knows? Which war was it, exactly, that you won, Senator McCain? Because getting captured, tortured, held as a prisoner and forced to sign a paper renouncing the United States is not winning a war. Was that out of bounds and insensitive? I don't fucking care. It's his claim, let him defend it.

UPDATE 10:24 PM: I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking this, but Tom Brokaw can go to hell. His attempts to impose limitations on tonight's debate was disgusting and the complete opposite of journalistic integrity. He certainly didn't want to let Obama defend himself, and Obama again showed his rhetorical genius by using another question to defend one of McCain's many falsehoods against him. Brokaw is a scumbag for what he tried to do, pulling focus away from the candidates and the issues and making himself the center of attention--it must be said, mostly after Obama spoke, as though he had to take attention away from what this man was saying. Fuck you, Tom Brokaw. You don't know what you're doing anymore, and you sure as hell had no place inserting yourself in matters of importance. Go back to worshiping World War II vets and stay the hell out of the election.

Oh, and your loaded "yes or no" question about modern Russia being an evil empire? What the fuck was that all about? What a dick you are. That's the one thing I completely agreed with McCain about tonight: yes would be damning, no would ignore what they've done. I'm glad neither one of them rose to the bait and said something stupid there.

You're an idiot, Brokaw. You should be demoted to doing weather on some local channel in San Bernardino.

My Favorite Quote This Week (So Far)

"He's not a maverick. He's a mimic." -- Senator Hillary Clinton, referring to John McCain while speaking at a Human Rights Campaign dinner.

I'm so glad that Democrats are finally calling John McCain on his "maverick" bullshit, especially since he keeps trying to co-opt every slogan Obama can come up with. Keep it up.

The Heroes Conundrum

Sometimes I wonder if I'm still watching Heroes because I like the characters and want to see what happens to them, or if I'm just curious to see how stupid it could possibly get.

How about you?

Monday, October 06, 2008

Halloween: Disney for the Season

What I Couldn't Say, But Really Wanted To

Oh, really, Mrs. S? C**** is just special and we need to understand him? Too special to actually do any work? Have you ever actually seen him try to subtract one number from another? It takes him ten minutes, Mrs. S. Because he's constantly getting distracted by everything around him; he has to look at goddamn everyone, because heaven forfend that someone is doing something without him being able to stare at it. Maybe he's doing a study and we're just all too mundane to understand the way his special little mind works. And then he kicks the table and throws his pencil and gets pissed off because 16 minus 9 is so hard he doesn't think he should have to do it.

And you should hear the way all of the full-time assistants talk about your kid. They hate him. They all want to line up and punch him right in the gut. You can call it oppositional disorder all you want, but the fact is he's a spoiled little jerk who's been catered to far too much in his life. Yes, I know he's retarded, but he's also high-functioning and he knows exactly where and how to take advantage of adults. It's unfortunate that he's got a legitimate mental disorder, it really is. But apart from that, completely separate, nothing to do with his handicap, he's an asshole. Your kid is an asshole, and now that I've met you, it's no surprise. He holds court in that special ed room and tries to force everyone to do his bidding because, you know, he's too "special" to learn math or play nice or not be a fucking little jerk.

I hate your kid and I hope I never see him again. You should consider home-schooling, because every staff member at this school despises him and can't wait until he finally has to go to middle school and pretend he's in sixth grade instead of pretending he's in fifth grade. Because he's not learning a damn thing except how to manipulate people into giving him what he wants.

Too bad I'd lose my job over that...

Just a Bunch of Pictures of Jessica

They keep telling me Jessica Simpson is fat. Well, it's in all the right places, as far as I'm concerned.

100 Years of Carole Lombard

Born today in 1908.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Halloween in Duckburg

By the great Carl Barks.