Sunday, April 06, 2008

Hello, What Have We Here?

Today in 1937, Earth was blessed with the coolest man in the universe: William December Williams. Oil painter, actor, author, Colt 45 pitchman. There's nothing he can't do. And it's only fitting that the coolest man in the universe should play the coolest man in the galaxy.

Lando Calrissian. Did you know he auditioned for the role of Han Solo? But he was just so cool that George Lucas thought he might be distracting. But he was so cool he had to get in there somewhere. Because Billy Dee is too cool even for Han Solo.

Sorry, Han, it's true. He even changed the pronunciation of your name because it sounded cooler. And he should know. Come on, be gracious in defeat.

Aw, see? Even you can't resist the nod from Billy Dee. He's just too damn cool.

You know what? It's been a long time since I adopted an actor. I've got this big Martian castle... Billy Dee Williams, consider yourself adopted! Welcome to Mars! The Red Planet of Love just got 800 million percent cooler.

See, that's how cool Billy Dee is. I can make up numbers and they'll be right. Because the laws of the universe bend to coolness.


Anonymous said...

Is William December Williams related to William Carlos Williams? He was the coolest Modernist poet in the universe....

Royalcyclops said...

And he sings too, kinda.

Before he played Gail Sayers, Bingo Long, Lando Calrissian or shilled for Colt 45 he made a record:

Let's Misbehave

01 A Taste Of Honey.mp3
02 Let's Misbehave.mp3
03 Don't Cry.mp3
04 Life's A Holiday.mp3
05 I Like It Here.mp3
06 Warm Tonight.mp3
07 Nothin' For Nothin'.mp3
08 I Wonder What Became Of Me.mp3
09 House Of Flowers.mp3
10 Red Sun Blues.mp3

Splotchy said...

Congrats on your adoption!

Did you happen to catch a post about your adopted actor here? I think you will be pleased.

Hey royalcyclops, that's about the givingest comment I have ever read. If I do post a about the Magnetic Fields on my blog, would you give me their latest record?

SamuraiFrog said...

Phillip: Just cosmic coincidence, my man.

Cyke: Sweet. I'd heard of this but I've never listened to it before.

Splotchy: Thank you. That post is what got the ball rolling in my head that no one had adopted him yet.

Royalcyclops said...

Splotchy: It could happen.

Unfortunately, the quality of the Billy Dee recording isn't the best but it represents what is was.