Saturday, August 04, 2007

"Schmooze" Is a Funny-Sounding Word

According to Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein, I have the power of schmooze. What does that mean, exactly? It means that I like to read his blog and tell him so in the comments section. It's about being involved with the blogging community and letting other people know their work doesn't exist in a vacuum.
So, I'm stuck for which five bloggers to nominate. I mean, it feels wrong to accept this without giving it to other people, too. On the other hand, I have to narrow it down to five. And how is that fair? Lots of people comment on my blog, and I love that they comment. Comments are the one thing bloggers crave the most; it lets you know you're appreciated.

So, I'm going to play by the rules and bestow this award on five others. But if I overlooked you, it doesn't mean anything. I'm still glad that you make me a part of your day.

1. MC at Culture Kills...Wait, I Mean Cutlery. He's a fellow traveler in the land of pop culture and sometimes has a correction or two he can help me with (I've been making an awful lot of mistakes lately). We have similar sensibilities and he brought me into the Pop Culture Supreme Court, which is awesome.

2. Dr. Zaius at Zaius Nation may be running a losing presidential campaign, but he's also running one of the best blogs I've ever even heard of. It must take a lot of time and effort to maintain, so I'm glad that he takes a few moments out to comment, crack a joke, or support me in my health quest. Thanks, sir.

3. Allen L. at Septenary doesn't always agree with me, but that's what's cool about having a conversation with people: the back and forth of defending your position. And I've managed to restrain myself from posting on his blog, even though I'm still an author there... Potential for mischief rising...Rising... I think of him like a friend; thanks for the comments, even the ones that piss me off (and make me piss you off in return).

4. Two Chicagoans for the price of one, because I just had to honor both Johnny Yen and Splotchy, my fellow Illinoisans. They remind me a lot of some of my family members in Chicago, and it's a pleasure to hear from them and read their blogs.

5. And finally, J.D. from Joe's Movie Corner. The kid is here every single day, commenting up a storm. And I don't know if he thinks I'm annoyed by him, but I'm actually glad I'm making sense to someone from his generation. Even though our tastes can differ wildly...

Now, those were my five (technically six, I know). But I want to just say thanks to the people who make this thing worthwhile by actually reading it. Thanks for commenting when something moves you: John, JA, Marius, Ben Varkentine, Jess Wundrun, Nathaniel R, Sleestak, MWB, Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, Piper, Lee, Daniel Rojo, fellow Illinoisan Bubs, Tosy and Cosh, Joel Bryant, Burbanked, Colin Giles (who left me some excellent information on some Disney posts), Todd, and Chris, thank you for making me an occasional part of your day. Jaquandor, you're truly a literate hippie. Bonnie, I wonder where you are and hope nothing bad's happened to you. Angie, I'm sorry you're gone. Thanks for stopping by FranIAm, DCup, Fairlane, Freida Bee, Infidel753, Tengrain, Captain Incredible. My fellow Pop Culture Supreme Court bloggers Semaj, Jess, and Heidi. Cap'n Dyke, your Hoppy Samurai is honored to be a crew member. Tom the Dog, whose blog is so cool he made me want to do better and give up at the same time! Peter Lynn, Mob, and Chance, who have been reading me blog longer than most anyone. TheMom, whose support is invaluable. Sherry, who probably has more comments on this blog than anyone else, and who I wish would take it easy more often. Thanks Clay Kaytis, who to date is the only Disney animator who ever commented on my blog and linked me on his own: The Animation Podcast. And Donnie Pitchford from the National Lum and Abner Society, who gave me a lot of great Gumby information, too, which was awesome.

And I finally want to thank Dr. Monkey, who is my brother from another mother as much as I am his, and who gave me this thing in the first place. And Becca, who doesn't comment much because she comments in person, and who said, two and a half years ago: "You know, I bet you'd be really good at blogging. Try it, you'll love it."

Thanks, guys.

Gosh, it almost sounds like I'm saying goodbye. I'm not, I'm just going to pull back for a little while and not post as much. The 500 Faves project took a lot out of me, and Becca's going to be on vacation from tonight through the 15th, so I'm going to relax and try to post just a couple of times a day. Time to enjoy a little more of the summer.

Ciao for now!

500 Faves

476. West Side Story (1961)
directed by Robert Wise & Jerome Robbins; starring Natalie Wood, Richard Beymer, George Chakiris, Russ Tamblyn"All of you! You all killed him! And my brother, and Riff. Not with bullets, or guns; with hate. Well now I can kill, too, because now I have hate!"

477. What a Girl Wants (2003)
directed by Dennie Gordon; starring Amanda Bynes, Colin Firth, Kelly Preston, Jonathan Pryce"I hope you find you sleeping arrangements conducive to..." "Henry, all it takes is 'sweet dreams.'"

478. What’s Opera, Doc? (1957)
directed by Chuck Jones"I'll kill the wabbit! Awise storm! North wind bwow! South wind bwow! Huwwicanes! Typhoons! Earthquakes! Smog!"

479. Where the Buffalo Roam (1980)
directed by Art Linson; starring Bill Murray, Peter Boyle, Bruno Kirby, Rene Auberjonois"In my case, you know, I hate to advocate drugs or liquor, violence, insanity to anyone. But in my case it's worked."

480. Whisper of the Heart (1995)
directed by Yoshifumi Kondo; starring (English version) Brittany Snow, David Gallagher, Harold Gould, Jean Smart"Strange, it's as if I have known you for a long time."

481. White Palace (1990)
directed by Luis Mandoki; starring Susan Sarandon, James Spader, Jason Alexander, Kathy Bates"All I know is that when I'm not with you I'm a total wreck." "And when you are with me?" "I'm a different kind of total wreck."

482. Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
directed by Robert Zemeckis; starring Bob Hoskins, Joanna Cassidy, Christopher Lloyd, Kathleen Turner"You mean you could've taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?" "No, not at any time, only when it was funny."

483. The Whole Wide World (1996)
directed by Dan Ireland; starring Vincent D'Onofrio, Renee Zellweger, Ann Wedgeworth, Harve Presnell"To make life worth living a man or woman has to have a great love or a great cause... I have neither."

484. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
directed by Mike Nichols; starring Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, George Segal, Sandy Dennis"You take the trouble to construct a civilization, to build a society based on the principles of... of principle. You make government and art and realize that they are, must be, both the same. You bring things to the saddest of all points, to the point where there is something to lose. Then, all at once, through all the music, through all the sensible sounds of men building, attempting, comes the Dies Irae. And what is it? What does the trumpet sound? Up yours."

485. The Wicker Man (1973)
directed by Robin Hardy; starring Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee, Britt Ekland, Ingrid Pitt"I think I could turn and live with animals. They are so placid and self-contained. They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins. They do not make me sick discussing their duty to God. Not one of them kneels to another or to his own kind that lived thousands of years ago. Not one of them is respectable or unhappy, all over the earth."

486. The Wild Bunch (1969)
directed by Sam Peckinpah; starring William Holden, Ernest Borgnine, Warren Oates, Robert Ryan"We're not gonna get rid of anybody. We're gonna stick together, just like it used to be. When you side with a man, you stay with him. And if you can't do that, you're like some animal, you're finished. We're finished. All of us."

487. The Wild Child (1970)
directed by Francois Truffaut; starring Francois Truffaut, Jean-Pierre Cargol, Francoise Seigner, Jean Daste
488. Willard (2003)
directed by Glen Morgan; starring Crispin Glover, R. Lee Ermy, Laura Harring, Jackie Burroughs"You stole this company from my father. It killed him and it killed my mother and now you're trying to kill me. You're trying to take my house. You made a fool of me in front of everybody. You made me hate myself. I thought about it a lot, hating myself. Well right now, at this moment, I LIKE myself."

489. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)
directed by Mel Stuart; starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum, Roy Kinnear"Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple." "That's 105 percent."

490. The Wind and the Lion (1975)
directed by John Milius; starring Sean Connery, Candice Bergen, Brian Keith, John Huston"You are like the Wind and I like the Lion. You form the tempest. The sand stings my eyes and the ground is parched. I roar in defiance but you do not hear. But between us there is a difference. I, like the lion, must remain in my place. While you like the wind will never know yours."

491. Winged Migration (2001) directed by Jacques Perrin and Jacques Cluzaud & Michel Debats
492. The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
directed by George Miller; starring Jack Nicholson, Cher, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer"I like women. I admire them. But, if you want me to treat you like a dumb twit I will. What's the point?"

493. Witness (1985)
directed by Peter Weir; starring Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis, Lukas Haas, Josef Sommer"If we'd made love last night I'd have to stay. Or you'd have to leave."

494. The Wizard of Oz (1939)
directed by Victor Fleming; starring Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr"A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others."

495. Wonder Boys (2000)
directed by Curtis Hanson; starring Michael Douglas, Tobey Maguire, Robert Downey Jr, Frances McDormand"She was a junkie for the printed word. Lucky for me, I manufactured her drug of choice."

496. The Wrong Trousers (1993)
directed by Nick Park; starring Peter Sallis"No more lodgers - more trouble than they're worth!"

497. Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942)
directed by Michael Curtiz; starring James Cagney, Joan Leslie, Walter Huston, Richard Whorf"It seems it always happens. Whenever we get too high-hat and too sophisticated for flag-waving, some thug nation decides we're a push-over all ready to be blackjacked. And it isn't long before we're looking up, mighty anxiously, to be sure the flag's still waving over us."

498. Yojimbo (1961)
directed by Akira Kurosawa; starring Toshiro Mifune, Tatsuya Nakadai, Yoko Tsukasa, Isuzu Yamada"I'm not dying yet. I have to kill quite a few men first."

499. Young Frankenstein (1974)
directed by Mel Brooks; starring Gene Wilder, Marty Feldman, Madeline Kahn, Peter Boyle"You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me." "What did he say?" "'What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?'"

500. Zulu (1964)
directed by Cy Endfield; starring Stanley Baker, Jack Hawkins, Michael Caine, Ulla Jacobsson"A prayer's as good as bayonet on a day like this."

Friday, August 03, 2007

Throwdown 8/3

15 random thoughts, questions, and observations for the week.

1. I think we’re all happy that Britney Spears is taking her career seriously again…

2. Speaking of Britney, PETA took to the streets in protest yesterday, wearing masks of Brit Brit and Parasite and holding up signs that say “Shelter dogs are dying and I still don’t care.” I do feel sorry for animals, I really do, but could the terrorist organization that values animal life over human life called PETA do me a favor and also wear shirts that say “Our government is killing millions in our name but adopting a puppy makes up for it”? Thanks.

3. I don’t really give a shit about Helen Hunt, but I have to say: excellent form. Nicely done. I gotta admit, a chick who surfs is kind of cool.

4. You know, Tom and Katie, no matter how hard you try, it’s still never going to be believable.

5. Okay, the time has come to ban another celebrity from this blog: Posh Spice. My hatred for her has reached that point, where it’s boring to read about and even less boring to talk about. So, you’re banned, you alien robot insect, you. One last bit that makes me laugh: even Britney Spears wouldn’t sit next to her at the Chateau Marmont. And the Marmont hates having her there because she’s such an attention whore who actually calls the paparazzi when she’s leaving and arriving. Keep up the good fight, America: I love that you keep ignoring her no matter how hard she (and, bizarrely, the rest of the media) tries to convince you she’s worthwhile in any way.

6. Some schmuck in Australia figured out that Nicole Richie’s baby must have been conceived in Australia, and now people are urging her to name the baby Sydney. If Australia wants to claim Nicole Richie’s baby, they can have it. Shit, take the parents, too. You’d be doing us one hell of a favor.

7. Anthony Bourdain wants you to know (mostly because he's pushing the new season of his TV show) that he’ll never star in an opportunistic reality show like Hell’s Kitchen which, he says, is not about cooking. Traveling the world on the Travel Channel’s dime and roping FOX into airing (and cancelling) a highly fictionalized show about your life where you pretend being a chef is sexy and exciting has much more integrity. Can I just say that Anthony Bourdain kind of creeps me out? Seriously, he looks like Lou Reed's sick brother; I wouldn't let this guy touch anything I was going to put in my mouth.

8. Sorry, terminal attention whore Jenna Jameson, but Scarlett Johansson is not going to play you in a movie about your life. Scarlett’s rep said “Scarlett has never seen a script nor been approached about this project. She also has no interest in playing this role.” But, you know, at least Jenna got herself a lot of attention, which is what her whole life is about… which is why a movie based on her life is pointless. What’s the dramatic struggle? Her need to be a celebrity because she’s sucked dick on camera?

9. I’ve never watched much Dark Shadows, but what little I’ve seen always looks like a bad high school play filmed for public access TV, with production values and acting to match. Johnny Depp is now saying that he wants to play Barnabas Collins in a movie version. You know what else would be great? If Johnny Depp dropped all of the panto and finally went back to acting again. Those fucking Pirates movies have drained him of all of his talent and integrity, I guess, because all he does now is wander through shitty movies acting weird and collecting a paycheck. Congratulations, Johnny, you became the one thing you said you never would: a hack.

10. You know, there was a moment there when Jessica Simpson could have made something of herself. She was never going to be Jane Fonda, but she could have at least been Goldie Hawn there for a minute. We all begged her not to let her daddy run her career anymore, because he was alienating everyone and making stupid decisions. And now… Well, now her new movie Blonde Ambition, the one that was supposed to be her star vehicle, is apparently so bad that it’s going straight to video in the US. I’m disappointed, but not surprised. Given the right people to shape her career, she could’ve been someone. I still love you, Jessica… just from more of a distance these days. And would you smarten up, for the love of Christ? A couple of years ago you were really making the effort, now you’re back to being kind of a moron again.

11. Well, that story going around about Parasite Hilton losing her inheritance turned out not to be true. But we can still console ourselves with the news that E! finally decided to cancel The Simple Life.

12. Not only did Star Jones lie and attribute her weight loss to pilates instead of gastric bypass surgery, now she’s lying about how she lied. I really hate these celebrities who lose weight by making it medically impossible to overeat instead of actually losing the weight themselves. I hate even more that the media treats them like heroes just for surviving what amounts to cosmetic surgery.

13. Fisher-Price has recalled 967,000 toys made for preschoolers because of the lead paint used on them. They were, of course, made in China. Haven’t there been a lot of recalls lately for products made in China? Think about that, think about who these toys were made for, and ask your Senator and Congressperson why outsourcing is good for America. And just because Fisher-Price caught their own mistake doesn’t mean this is okay. Why can’t America go back to making its own stuff? Outsourcing leads to two things: overproduction and unemployment. Less employees means less people with disposable income, couple that with overproduction and this means that there are a lot of companies who make too much shit that people can’t buy. Isn’t this almost the exact same circumstance that led to the Great Depression?

14. Donald Trump advised, not unreasonably, that Lindsay Lohan “get a new set of parents.” So, of course, Lindsay’s idiot mom Dina had to fire back, saying she was disappointed in his glib remark. “I've always had a great admiration for your business sense and I've read all your books and learned from them. Your own brother died of alcoholism and you own Trump Vodka? You say Lindsay needs new parents? Such a rash statement without backing it with fact? I am a single mother of four children doing what I can during this difficult time! Do a background check of both parents and you will find the truth! Shame on you... so many families suffer from this, yours included. We need solutions not opinions!” Wow, where do I start? I mean, Trump doesn’t need to back up his opinion with evidence, since it’s in the tabloids every day. And if the Lohan family needs solutions and not opinions, may I suggest Dina shut the fuck up and look to her own family instead of responding to every person who calls her a bad mother? Hey, Dina, you know how you can get rid of accusations of bad parenting? By ignoring shit like this and getting down to the business of being a mother, you dumb fuck! Hey, you can say a lot of shit about Donald Trump, but at least his kids aren’t screwed up as far as I know. I know, I know—Lindsay is banned from this blog. But as long as there is stupidity in the world, Dina is going to be adding to it, and I don’t feel the need to stop venting about her attempt to make her daughter society’s problem until she either shuts it or kills herself out of shame. Fuck her. We know what you’re doing, Dina; we’re not stupid. We know you’re setting your daughter up to be a martyr in case this tailspin turns out to be fatal, so you can live on some kind of James Dean type of fame. That’s all you care about. You’re a monster. Shut your goddamn mouth.

15. Some people in Ohio are trying to get a law passed that would require a woman to get the father’s consent if she wants an abortion. I have nothing to say to that. Nothing I say could make that sound as dumb as it should.

What the Link Is a Sammo-Flange?

On a related note, Lady, That's My Skull has more bad advice from romance comic books.
* Cracked: The 5 Stages of a Successful Relationship (in a Romantic Comedy)
* The Onion A.V. Club has an interview with Dita Von Teese.
* Ken Levine remembers Tom Snyder.
* Peter Lynn would buy that for a dollar!
* Becca has the teaser trailer for Dario Argento's new movie!
* Scarlett Johansson has a few things to say at Zaius Nation.
* Cracked: Marvel Comics vs. Science: 5 of the Most Absurd Superhero Origins
* Bubs on the worst pastor this week.

Okay, one more word on Robert Novak from Dr. Monkey.
* Dr. Zaius faces the Kucinich zombies.
* Johnny Yen wants to know if you're better off now than you were in 2000.
* The American Prospect rightly ridicules Rudy Ghoul-iani's health non-plan, and Reggie Cervantes (who broke my heart in Sicko) attacks it from a realistic perspective.
* Jones Town has something to say about Alberto Gonzales, his lies, and his lies about his lies.
* The Rude Pundit is also pissed about Gonzo and imagines living with the son of a bitch.
* Infidel753 ponders impeachment.
* Private Peter Pan by Digby.
* Normally I can't stand Christopher Hichens very much, but I agree with nearly every word of this piece in Slate.
* Tengrain sums up the McCain bid perfectly.
* The Rude Pundit points out something I think more people should be worried about.
* DCup puts the Minnesota bridge collapse into perspective.
* The Most Horrifying Fred Thompson Picture You'll Wish You'd Never Seen (Zaius Nation)
* The Last Visible Blog on what the internet reveals about us.

I'm going to end with something from Cap'n Dyke. That dear and tough pirate queen found something she was moved to re-post on her own blog: Words to Live By. My favorite thing I saw on the internet this week. It's better than most of those kinds of posts, mostly because this one happens to be true. My favorite: Unless you have some overwhelming passion that also happens to allow you to earn a living doing it, always remember that work should be a means to an end: living an enjoyable life. Spend as little time on the means as possible consistent with achieving the end. Only idiots live to work. I know people who need to have those words lasered into their brains...

Whatever She's Selling, I'll Take Ten More

I need them to go with the ten I already have.