Saturday, July 28, 2007

TV Report: So Glad That Hex Is Over

Even though I think the British method of making fewer episodes of a TV series is superior to our American method of keeping a show on until the end of time, it's nice to know that the British have their clunkers, too. Last year, I said about the first episode of Hex: "I hope the rest of the series is this good." Oh, what a mad, optimistic fool I was. Because the rest of the series took an interesting premise and failed to do anything good with it, making it one of the most tedious TV shows that only ran for 19 episodes I've ever seen.

Just to warn you, I will start spoiling the plot here.

Hex began with a decent enough storyline: Cassie (the lovely Christina Cole) is a boarding school student who discovers she's a witch destined to give birth to the Antichrist, and is pursued by Azazeal (a rather dull Michael Fassbender), the leader of the Nephilim, or Fallen Angels, who is going to be the father. A sort of Buffy with more sexual tension, Hex was enjoyable for a while, mostly due to the efforts of the stunning and wonderful Jemima Rooper, who played Thelma Bates, the ghost of Cassie's ritualistically-murdered lesbian roommate.

Now, the original six-episode series ends with Cassie trying to abort her baby, only to discover that Azazeal has rescued the hellspawn child and taken him away. The second series begins with the arrival of a new transfer student, Ella Dee (Laura Pyper), who is actually an immortal, the daughter of John Dee, and a Nephilim hunter whose mission is to kill Malachi, Cassie's son (who, of course, rapidly ages until he's school aged and, it must be said, an insouciant prick played by Joseph Beattie). Through the course of an ultimately punishing 13 episodes, Ella will fall in and out of and back in love with Leon Tyler (Jamie Davis, surprisingly likeable both here and as Harley on seasons 3 and 4 of Footballers' Wives), a student whom she lets into her confidence. Of course, in a bland and lamely unoriginal twist, she also falls in love with Malachi, and therefore has problems bringing herself to do her duty.

Quite simply, the major problem is that the second series goes on for far too long. It drags out to 13 episodes what it really only needed 7 to do. I like that the second series widens the scope of the conflict (bringing in characters like the Nephilim Mephistophelees and the Archangel Raphael, as well as making Leon a part of it and providing and interesting storyline for Amber Sainsbury's Roxanne Davenport to go through a genuine change of heart, from popular bitch to reformed puritan), but it goes on and on and on until it's not even close to fun anymore.

Adding to this are two essential problems.

The first is both the character Ella Dee and the actress who plays her, Laura Pyper.Pyper begins the series as cold, sexy, and directed. The second she steps away from that characterization and begins to doubt her mission, the series is doomed. Ella goes from directed to confused to directed to confused to just whiny and, finally, smug and whiny. It's a disheartening change, and it's an obvious cliche. She's intrigued by Malachi, and finds herself conflicted between him and Leon. Malachi is just like her--immortal, removed, and cold. Ella has no qualms about using Cassie or Thelma or Leon to achieve her ends; even though, at times, she can't be arsed to achieve them at all. See, somebody thought it would be a brilliant idea to kill off Cassie partway into the second series, leaving Ella, Thelma, and Leon to carry the whole thing. And while Leon and Thelma are up to the task, Ella just becomes a joyless chore to watch. Half the time you just want to slap her in the face for being either too emotional or not emotional at all. Pick one, please, just to make this damn show a little more watchable!

The other problem is less the show's fault and more the fault of BBC America and the way they aired the show here. For whatever reason, they aired the first series of Hex, plus half of the second season, and claimed it was one season (I already bitched about this last year). The second half has just finished airing, and it meanders on and on and on, especially since we've been dropped right into the middle of the story.

The only bright spot, after a while, is the brightest spot the series has always had: Jemima Rooper.Through the whole series, she remains nothing less than a joy to watch. Thelma's the one character on the show who's not reduced to whining and trying to justify things in larger terms of good and evil. She knows she can be a bit of a selfish twat, but it's only because she cares about being happy--something she never gets to be. In fact, every time Thelma even approaches happiness, the show pulls it away from her.

Thelma notwithstanding, I looked forward to the show less and less every week, just waiting for it to finally be over. And, now, it is. To my surprise and annoyance, the final episode ends by not resolving very much at all and setting up a third series which will never come, as the show was cancelled. It's astounding how quickly this show went from good to terrible.

Still, thank whomever needs to be thanked for Jemma Rooper!
I do love her. There's a website devoted to her here that I took this last screencap from. She's absolutely wonderful, and elevates this show far above what it deserves.

It's Illegal

Someone who may or may not wish to remain nameless thought I would enjoy this. He or she was right!

Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch 1963-2007

Naval legend and cereal sales mascot Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch, affecionately known and beloved by millions as "Cap'n Crunch," was killed this week by a combination of misguided good intentions, weasley advertising schemes, and general lazy parenting.

In this day and age, where kids are supposedly fatter than they've ever been, parents continue to blame sugared cereals, fast food, and colorful ad mascots for the rotundity of their children, rather than the obvious culprit: lazy parenting. With the decision to cave in to pressure groups ("It just makes sense if we want to continue making a ton of money for putting sugar on oats and shit," said adman Radley Phuqwitt), it has been sadly reported that advertising mascots in animated commercials will no longer be needed. Sadly, it is the advertising industry, the very same that gave birth to the Cap'n, that has now killed him.

For nearly five decades, Cap'n Crunch was a Saturday morning icon. His adventures aboard his ship, the S.S. Guppy, often featured his attempts to bring flavor to the lives of dull children while keeping his precious recipe safe from his nemesis, Jean LaFoote the Barefoot Pirate, and saving kids from getting sogged by Soggies.

Oddly, LaFoote was one of many cartoon characters who attended the funeral. "All is forgiven," he said in his over-the-top French accent. "I never held any malice toward him. I felt we respected each other as adversaries. I don't know what purpose my life has without him now..."

Others who attended the funeral include other recently laid off cartoon mascots, such as Tony the Tiger ("I only wanted to help kids succeed at sports!"), a nervous and jacked up Trix Rabbit, and a surprisingly serene Toucan Sam. "Kids don't need me anymore," he says. "The hipsters have their ironic tee shirts. And kids will always know to follow their nose... I'm only sad that it had to end in the death of another one of our colleagues."

The sad news reached the world recently when the S.S. Guppy was finally found near the island of Volcanica; it is assumed that Crunch was making another trip to the Crunchlings to get more Crunchium. Alas, it was not to be. "At first, I thought the Cap'n had gone on another one of his trips," said old friend Professor Dewey Livettnhow, discoverer of Crunchium and author of the Periodic Breakfast Table of Elements, referring to Crunch's "disappearances" in 1985 and 1999. "Now it seems as though he was returning to Volcanica one last time to see the Crunchlings and perhaps retire from adventuring and spreading the word about Cap'n Crunch cereal."

Crunch was preceded in death by the crew of the Guppy--Alfie, Carlyle, Dave, Brunhilde, and Seadog--as well as his former fiancee Magnolia Bulkhead, and friends Smedley the Elephant, Harry S. Hippo, Wilma the Winsome White Whale, Chockle the Blob, and the Crunchberry Beast. He is survived by his unforgettable image, which will ghoulishly be used on cereal boxes for countless decades to come.

Crunch was laid to rest this morning at the Quaker Oats home offices in Chicago, Illinois. As a sign of respect, he was placed in the same crypt as the late King Vitamin.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Throwdown 7/27

15 random thoughts, questions, and observations for the week.

1. I can’t believe Weekly World News is finally suspending publication. Is there finally something in America that’s too stupid for people?

2. Wait, maybe not: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry was the number one movie last weekend. And you wonder how George W. Bush was elected twice? Adam Sandler could take a shit for eighty minutes and people would still go see it.

3. Speaking of that stupid movie… The only thing I liked in the preview was, of course, Jessica Biel. Now, as I’ve said, Biel is not the kind of actress you see a movie for. I love her, but I won’t watch a movie just because she’s in it (which, if you follow my way of thinking here, makes her a less talented actor than Jenny McCarthy, Brittany Murphy, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Tori Spelling). Anyway, I will never forget seeing her gorgeous bod in the preview wearing only her underwear. Meanwhile, she’s decided to go the “I’m afraid to truly act” route by refusing to do nudity. They never recognize the idiot irony of selling a movie with their scantily clad body and still refusing to do nudity… Biel says: “I'm sure I've lost some roles because I don't do it. The other day I read a script that required some nudity, something topless. It's probably going to be a great movie but I just don't want to do it.” Yes, Biel. I’ve seen your acting and I’m certain the nudity is why you’re not getting great roles. It must be that. No, I’m not being sarcastic, this is just a speech impediment.

4. Speaking of sucky movies, I just can’t work up any enthusiasm for this Watchmen adaptation. Sure, I liked 300 quite a bit, but I don’t need to see the same director tackle anything, you know, smart. As I’ve said before, I’m not inherently against the idea of a Watchmen movie—in fact, I think it could be done. But the recent casting of 29 year-old Malin Akerman as the Silk Spectre just kind of says to me that Zach Snyder has no idea what the story is actually about. Which is funny, because he’s proven himself so gutless when it comes to trying to keep the story set in 1986, so that the movie will be about eighties politics when, given the current climate, it could so easily be updated with virtually no change (Jesus, just swap Nixon for Reagan). But the casting of younger and younger actors… I don’t think he really gets the point. Another movie for me to skip.

5. Zac Efron is going to be in a remake of Footloose. Dude, is it me, or does Zac Efron really suck? I saw him interviewed on Disney Channel the other day, and he really seemed to think he was someone very important because a bunch of kids with no taste love him. Ew. The little jerk doesn’t even do his own singing!

6. Kim Kardashian is going to pose for Playboy, but fully clothed. Because her perfect little body is just too important to share with just anyone. Apparently she’s forgotten that we’ve all seen her getting ridden like a scooter already.There, now it’s old news.

7. Anne Hathaway at her Becoming Jane premiere. Just because I think she’s beautiful and, apparently, that’s what passes for news on other blogs. Isn’t it, Egotastic? Oh, wait, you want a story, too? How about that Scott Baio was trying to wrangle an invitation to the after-party to hang out with Miss Hathaway, only to be turned down by organizers? It’s somehow creepy, sad, and pathetic all at once.

8. The Sun thinks it’s newsworthy that some guy thinks this cloud formation looks like Amy Winehouse. BFD, I’ve seen lots of things that resemble Amy Winehouse: piles of dirty clothes, carpet stains, collies. I once thought I saw a ratty homeless woman in a pool of her own vomit outside of a trailer park that looked like Amy Winehouse, but it turned out that actually was Amy Winehouse.

9. Seth McFarlane has announced that he’s thinking up a storyline for a Family Guy movie. Honestly, I didn’t think it would take him this long to announce his intention to copy The Simpsons yet again…

10. I still have faith in my Hilary Duff. Still, there’s something kind of lame in watching an otherwise self-assured young woman get led around by the hand by an undeserving douchebag. More shit that makes me not want to have daughters.

11. I’m just not feeling this. This is the teaser poster for that nameless J.J. Abrams movie that everyone is going crazy over. Fanboys everywhere are trying to dissect this movie to figure out what it is (a lot of people seem to think it has something to do with Godzilla; good luck with that). It seems to have something to do with monsters, even though the preview doesn’t show anything but some explosions and roars off in the distance. The thing is, I don’t consider J.J. Abrams remotely talented, so this doesn’t really excite me. My own opinion is that this is one giant tease, and so is the movie. That this is about what it’s like to be on the outskirts of some kind of crisis, and you won’t get to see anything at all. That it’s going to be like United 93--completely emotionless and uninteresting, faux-documentary garbage (the trailer screams Blair Witch Project, once again assuming that footage filmed on a camcorder held by an epileptic monkey is “interesting” and “energetic” as opposed to “unwatchable” and “vertiginous”), and the second I register dislike, someone will come along bellowing “It’s supposed to be bad and boring, that’s how entertainment is in Post-9/11 AmericaTM!!!!” Funny how the only meaningful way Americans can deal with a crisis is when Hollywood uses it to sell mugs and mousepads… Anyway, that’s my own opinion. What I was actually going to say was this: I don’t like the poster. Why is the poor Statue of Liberty, one of our country’s monuments, always desecrated like this? Not that I’m squeamish or sensitive or anything, but aren’t we over taking our national identity and giddily destroying it to make America seem imperiled in $200 million B movies? It’s completely meaningless and, after the World Trade Center, a little tasteless. I guess the real comment on post-9/11 disaster movies is that, even though thousands of people may die, similar situations are good popcorn entertainment. I guess Hollywood should just be happy that Osama bin Laden has given their movies a little verisimilitude they otherwise wouldn’t have had. Wow, this item has just gotten away from me.

12. This is how slow the news is right now: for the last eight or seventy-four weeks or something, it’s been news that David Beckham and his insect robot alien wife are coming to live in America. This story actually gives me a lot of faith in people: no matter how much the media keeps trying to convince them that this is a newsworthy event, people just keep ignoring it. Some days your faith in people pays off. Anyway, the latest “news” is that Tom Cruise is going to throw them a huge party. Why is Tom Snooze always sniffing around these idiots? Can’t he just corner Becks in a bathroom stall and blow him like he obviously wants so very, very badly?

13. I can’t believe how much this Paula Abdul thing is being blown out of proportion. This video clip (I saw it at Bulletproof Bracelets) is sad, really pathetic footage of her breaking down and crying when she finds out she’s not going to be doing all of this stuff for the Bratz movie. Clearly, she’s been told that her participation in the project is no longer required. And while her assistants try not to laugh at her, she goes on about how she doesn’t understand why God would allow this to happen. Because she obviously thinks she’s the most special person in the world and thinks that bad things happen to her have to be so much more than they are. And now, all of a sudden, she’s going around saying she wasn’t fired, that she chose not to do it because she was so busy filming American Idol, as well as her reality show, which is supposed to document her working, anyway. So, who are we supposed to believe? I mean, she was pretty clearly fired, it’s right there. What the fuck? It seems to me that this is a pretty bald-faced lie. Whomever the editor of her reality show is, he clearly hates her whining and loves to show her in the worst light. But those are her own words in the clip, aren’t they? “I’m getting an email that basically says they really don’t need me…” “I get screwed over so much…” *Sigh* Where’s God when you need him? Where?!

14. Okay, I’m going to break my silence on Lindsay Lohan once more--and, sadly, 90% of the news I’ve seen this week has been about her--because I’ve been hearing the stories about how some people think she’s a closeted lesbian, and that being kept in the closet is what’s making her act out. See, depending on whom you read, it’s either society’s fault or the fault of her mom/manager/guy jacking it to her in Maxim’s fault that she’s self-destructing, not her fault. I don’t like this as an excuse for her pitiful, demented, idiotic behavior—I don’t think we should have to excuse her behavior just because she’s misunderstood and unhappy. She can either just come the fuck out already (there are a lot of gay actors whose careers are doing just fine) or act like a decent human being. She’s made her choices, and she’s made them stupidly, and that’s her bad judgment, not ours or anyone else’s. Look at Kelly Clarkson. There are lots of rumors that she’s a lesbian and that her label doesn’t want her to come out (because, what, it ruined Melissa Etheridge?), and you don’t see her trying to run people down with cars and carrying cocaine everywhere, do you? Just look at this picture. How do you feel sympathy for that? She laughs at your laws, lies to you constantly because she thinks you’re dumb, and now I’m supposed to believe it’s not because she’s self-centered, but because she’s not allowed to be a lesbian? Please. Lindsay Lohan either needs to get a life, get a brain, or finally go away and die.

15. And the same goes for Dina Lohan, her cold-hearted opportunist of a mother. How pathetic is it that her oldest child has been 21 for less than a month, and already she’s been in rehab twice? Dina Lohan pulled herself away from a three-way with a couple of frat boys long enough to send an email to her precious Access Hollywood expressing her anger over a bit Jay Leno did where Rob Schneider pretended to be Lindsay Lohan. Dina is pissed because Leno “chose to allow a guest to make light of a very serious situation.” Yeah, her daughter getting high, going crazy and stalking someone is indeed a very serious situation, just not in the way Dina thinks. America’s #1 Mom goes on to say “this is a very personal and private matter” and that she wants to get her daughter “the help that she needs.” She also says that this “will make our family stronger.” Wow, by now the Lohans should be the strongest family in America, because every week it’s more of the same shit. Here’s what pisses me off: this is all about the self-centered and self-destructive behavior of one person, but Dina is always obsessed with making it so much more epic. Like when she ends by saying: “Our thoughts and prayers go out to all families who have had to see a family member through tough times.” She acts like this is some kind of epidemic or communicable disease that’s going around through society; basically, she’s not only absolved herself of any guilt over her terrible parenting, but also absolved Lindsay of guilt over her terrible judgment. It’s somehow the fault of society at large and some idiot compulsion Lindsay has to destroy herself before she turns 23. Sorry, Dina, it’s really not a “personal and private matter” because Lindsay keeps throwing it in our face any chance she has. You two did everything you could to chase down celebrity, and now that you have it, it’s gotten out of your control. Deal with it. You idiots can choose to change or not. Don’t get pissed off at us because you’re pathetic. Get a life.

Wassup Links

Look at this! Penelope Cruz has a hot sister named Monica. Nice. Very nice. Spanish sisters... I wonder if I can go and teach English in Spain after I count off the links of the week...

* Cracked: From Cromulent to Craptacular: The Top 12 Simpsons-Created Words
* Apropos of Something lists 25 great Simpsons supporting characters.
* Man vs. Clown! has a critical opinion on a ribald email.
* The Quig Spot lists the ten most annoying kid actors... although I like at least four of them.
* The Huffington Post on how the New York Times bestseller list has become an op-ed section.
* No Smoking in the Skullcave: Harry Potter and the Extra Long Post
* Cracked: 6 Movie Formulas That Must Be Stopped
* Lady, That's My Skull: Bad Advice from Comic Books
* Splotchy goes to see Hostel II.
* Exquisitely Bored in Nacogdoches on another Beatles song I like.
* Roger Ebert and Clive Barker on whether or not video games are art.
* The Absorbascon with the National Periodicals Table of Story Elements.
* Johnny Yen has an excellent and lovely picture of my city.
* Bubs looks at a future I want in on.

I just read that Tori Spelling became an ordained minister. She can marry people! I think I need to get Tori to officiate my wedding because, well, that would just be too weird and cool. That would be my equivalent of having a theme wedding.

* Bulletproof Bracelets has a quote that I agree with. I keep wondering what happened to those little dogs everyone used to carry around...
* Ken Levine has some choice words for Barry Bonds.
* Jess Wundrun has the same problem with email forwards that I do.
* Johnny Yen contemplates the lessons of Lyndon Johnson.
* The Last Visible Blog on doing the right thing.
* The Rude Pundit on the Positive Politics of Shame: here, here, here, and here.
* Sadly, No!: 10 Hilarious Rules for Dating Doug Giles's Daughters (via Infidel753).
* Dr. Zaius on the impeachment of Dick Cheney (he makes lots of good and reasoned points I must agree with).
* Dr. Monkey on the ways George W. Bush tries to silence dissent.

500 Faves

376. The Secret of NIMH (1982)
directed by Don Bluth; starring Elizabeth Hartman, Derek Jacobi, Dom DeLuise, Petert Strauss"You can unlock any door, if you only have the key."

377. Seven Samurai (1954)
directed by Akira Kurosawa; starring Takashi Shimura, Toshiro Mifune, Yoshio Inaba, Seiji Miyaguchi"This is the nature of war. By protecting others, you save yourselves."

378. 1776 (1972)
directed by Peter H. Hunt; starring William Daniels, Howard da Silva, Ken Howard, Donald Madden"Revolutions come into this world like bastard children, Mr. Dickinson: half improvised and half compromised."

379. The Seventh Seal (1957)
directed by Ingmar Bergman; starring Max Von Sydow, Bengt Ekerot, Nils Poppe, Bibi Andersson"Faith is a torment. It is like loving someone who is out there in the darkness but never appears, no matter how loudly you call."

380. The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958)
directed by Nathan Juran; starring Kerwin Mathews, Kathryn Grant, Richard Eyer, Torin Thatcher"May Allah grant we find food and water." "And may Allah grant we find nothing else."

381. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
directed by Edgar Wright; starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Kate Ashfield, Bill Nighy"As Bertrand Russell once said, the only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation. I think we can all appreciate the relevance of that now." "Was that on a beer mat?" "Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold." "I won't say anything." "Thanks."

382. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
directed by Frank Darabont; starring Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Clancy Brown, Bob Gunton"Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

383. A Simple Plan (1998)
directed by Sam Raimi; starring Bill Paxton, Billy Bob Thornton, Bridget Fonda, Brent Briscoe"Do you ever feel evil?"

384. Sin City (2005)
directed by Robert Rodriguez & Frank Miller; starring Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Rosario Dawson"Will that bring you satisfaction, my son? Killing a helpless old fart?" "Killing? No. No satisfaction. Everything up until the killing will be a gas."

385. Singin’ in the Rain (1952)
directed by Stanley Donen & Gene Kelly; starring Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds, Donald O'Conner, Jean Hagen"I said some awful things that night, didn't I?" "No. I deserved them. But I must admit I was hurt by them. So hurt in fact that I haven't been able to think about anything but you ever since."

386. Sirens (1994)
directed by John Duigan; starring Sam Neill, Hugh Grant, Tara Fitzgerald, Elle Macpherson"I am an artist, and I refuse to be compromised by the feeble scruples of the public."

387. The Skeleton Dance (1929)
directed by Ub Iwerks
388. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
directed by Kerry Conran; starring Jude Law, Gwnyeth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Bai Ling"I missed you. Thanks for saving my life today, by the way." "Oh, were you down there?"

389. SLC Punk! (1998)
directed by James Merendino; starring Matthew Lillard, Michael A. Goorjian, Annabeth Gish, Jennifer Lien"In a country of lost souls, rebellion comes hard. But in a religiously oppressive city, where half it's population isn't even of that religion, it comes like fire."

390. Sleeper (1973)
directed by Woody Allen; starring Woody Allen, Diane Keaton, John Beck, Mary Gregory"Oh, I see. You don't believe in science, and you also don't believe that political systems work, and you don't believe in God, huh?" "Right." "So then, what do you believe in?" "Sex and death, two things that come once in a lifetime... but at least after death, you're not nauseous."

391. Sleuth (1972)
directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz; starring Laurence Olivier, Michael Caine"Wit in the face of adversity! Good! You've learned something from the English."

392. Small Change (1976)
directed by Francois Truffaut; starring Nicole Felix, Chantal Mercier, Jean-Francois Stevenin, Virginie Thevenet"I'm hungry!"

393. Small Soldiers (1998)
directed by Joe Dante; starring Gregory Smith, Kirsten Dunst, Phil Hartman, Tommy Lee Jones"His battery has run out, but his memory will keep going, and going, and going."

394. Smiles of a Summer Night (1955)
directed by Ingmar Bergman; starring Ulla Jacobsson, Eva Dahlbeck, Harriet Andersson, Margit Carlqvist"Why don't you write your memoirs?" "My dear daughter, I was given this estate for promising not to write my memoirs."

395. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
directed by David Hand; starring Adriana Caselotti, Lucille La Verne, Pinto Colvig, Roy Atwell"I'm awfully sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. But you don't know what I've been through. And all because I was afraid. I'm so ashamed of the fuss I made."

396. Son of Godzilla (1967)
directed by Jun Fukuda; starring Tadao Takashima, Akira Kubo, Bibari Maeda, Akihiko Hirata"It's teaching its son all right. And, he's teaching its son like normal people would, just like a papa." "Well, it is a papa, isn't it?" "Well sure, but I wouldn't want one like that."

397. Sophie’s Choice (1982)
directed by Alan J. Pakula; starring Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline, Peter MacNicol, Rita Karin"Don't you see, Sophie? We're dying."

398. South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
directed by Trey Parker; starring Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Mary Kay Bergman, Isaac Hayes"See, it doesn't hurt anyone! Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck, fuck."

399. Spartacus (1960)
directed by Stanley Kubrick; starring Kirk Douglas, Jean Simmons, Laurence Olivier, Tony Curtis"You and I have a tendency towards corpulence. Corpulence makes a man reasonable, pleasant and phlegmatic. Have you noticed the nastiest of tyrants are invariably thin?"

400. Spellbound (1945)
directed by Alfred Hitchcock; starring Gregory Peck, Ingrid Bergman, Michael Chekhov, Leo G. Carroll"Good night and sweet dreams... which we'll analyze in the morning."

Thursday, July 26, 2007

My Personal DNA

Roll the cursor over the colors, they all mean something. Weird.

500 Faves

351. Return to Oz (1985)
directed by Walter Murch; starring Fairuza Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Brian Henson"If his brain's ran down, how can he talk?" "It happens to people all the time, Jack."

352. Rhapsody Rabbit (1946)
directed by Friz Freleng"Who...? Franz Liszt? Never heard of him... Wrong number."

353. Ride the High Country (1962)
directed by Sam Peckinpah; starring Joel McCrea, Randolph Scott, Ron Starr, Mariette Hartley"All I want is to enter my house justified."

354. The Right Stuff (1983)
directed by Phil Kaufman; starring Ed Harris, Scott Glenn, Dennis Quaid, Fred Ward"There was a demon that lived in the air. They said whoever challenged him would die. Their controls would freeze up, their planes would buffet wildly, and they would disintegrate. The demon lived at Mach 1 on the meter, seven hundred and fifty miles an hour, where the air could no longer move out of the way. He lived behind a barrier through which they said no man could ever pass. They called it the sound barrier."

355. River of No Return (1954)
directed by Otto Preminger; starring Robert Mitchum, Marilyn Monroe, Rory Calhoun, Tommy Rettig"One thing about this: the longer you last, the less you care."

356. The Road Warrior (1981)
directed by George Miller; starring Mel Gibson, Bruce Spence, Vernon Wells, Virginia Hey"Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker. You want to get out of here? You talk to me."

357. Rob Roy (1995)
directed by Michael Caton-Jones; starring Liam Neeson, Jessica Lange, Tim Roth, Brian Cox"Think of yourself a scabbard, Mistress McGregor, and I the sword. And a fine fit you were, too." "I will think on you dead, until my husband makes you so. And then I will think on you no more."

358. RoboCop (1987)
directed by Paul Verhoeven; starring Peter Weller, Kurtwood Smith, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox"Nice shooting, son. What's your name?" "Murphy."

359. Rock ‘n’ Roll High School (1979)
starring P.J. Soles, Dey Young, Mary Woronov, The Ramones"Things sure have changed since we got kicked out of high school."

360. Rocky (1976) and Rocky II (1979)
directed by John G. Avildsen and Sylvester Stallone; starring Sylvester Stallone, Burgess Meredith, Talia Shire, Burt Young"Ain't gonna be no rematch." "Don't want one."

361. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
directed by Jim Sharman; starring Tim Curry, Barry Bostwick, Susan Sarandon, Richard O'Brien"I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey."

362. Rollerball (1975)
directed by Norman Jewison; starring James Caan, John Houseman, Maud Adams, John Beck"The game was created to demonstrate the futility of individual effort."

363. Rope (1948)
directed by Alfred Hitchcock; starring James Stewart, John Dall, Farley Granger, Cedric Hardwicke"The good Americans usually die young on the battlefield, don't they? Well, the Davids of this world merely occupy space, which is why he was the perfect victim for the perfect murder. Course he, uh, he was a Harvard undergraduate. That might make it justifiable homicide."

364. Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book (1994)
directed by Stephen Sommers; starring Jason Scott Lee, Lena Heady, Sam Neill, Cary Elwes"I think a man lucky who could count you as a friend."

365. The Rules of Attraction (2002) directed by Roger Avary; starring James Van Der Beek, Kip Pardue, Shannyn Sossamon, Jessica Biel"I only had sex with her because I'm in love with you."

366. Run Lola Run (1998)
directed by Tom Tykwer; starring Franka Potente, Moritz Bleibtreu, Herbert Knaup, Nina Petri"Nach dem Spiel ist vor dem Spiel."

367. Running Time (1997)
directed by Josh Becker; starring Bruce Campbell, Jeremy Roberts, Anita Barone, Stan Davis"I'm not stupid. I'm smart." "Oh yeah, you're smart! You failed every fucking class! You were in remedial everything! You flunked fucking gym!"

368. The Samurai Trilogy (Musashi Miyamoto, 1954; Duel at Ichijoji Temple, 1955; Duel at Ganryu Island, 1956)
directed by Hiroshi Inagaki; starring Toshiro Mifune, Rentaro Mikuni, Koji Tsuruta, Michiko Saga"The way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death."

369. Sanjuro (1962)
directed by Akira Kurosawa; starring Toshiro Mifune, Tatsuya Nakadai, Keiju Kobayashi, Yuzo Kayama"He was exactly like me. A naked sword. He didn't stay in his sheath."

370. Scarlet Diva (2000)
directed by Asia Argento; starring Asia Argento, Jean Shepard, Herbert Fritsch, Gianluca Arcopinto"I am the loneliest girl in the world." "How sad." "It's not sad, it's just how it is."

371. Schindler’s List (1993)
directed by Steven Spielberg; starring Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Ben Kingsley, Embeth Davidtz"I pardon you."

372. School of Rock (2003)
directed by Richard Linklater; starring Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White, Sarah Silverman"In the words of AC/DC: We roll tonight to the guitar bite, and for those about to rock... I salute you."

373. Seal Island (1948)
directed by James Algar
374. The Searchers (1956)
directed by John Ford; starring John Wayne, Jeffrey Hunter, Natalie Wood, Ward Bond"Let's go home, Debbie."

375. The Secret Garden (1993)
directed by Agnieszka Holland; starring Maggie Smith, Kate Maberly, Heydon Prowse, Andrew Knott"If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden."