Saturday, July 14, 2007
It's indicative of how sick people are of our current idiot in chief that there is so much commentary on the primaries. Like Bill Maher says, it's probably far too early to be so mired in the process, but here we are. As an independent, I've been weighing the candidates against each other, and I've yet to be completely satisfied with any one of them. I'm not supporting someone this early, though there are a few I decidedly despise (Giuliani, McCain, Romney, Clinton) and a few I kind of like. That "kind of like" category keeps getting smaller and smaller. And since an impeachment ain't gonna happen to put Pelosi in the Oval Office...
Well, anyway, I'm really pissed off about this whole thing with Hillary Clinton and John Edwards trying to make it so that fewer candidates can particpate in the presidential forums. I expect this kind of shit from Clinton, she's has about as much integrity as Lieberman. But I admit, I'm disappointed by Edwards; I'd been leaning toward him for some time, but now... What an asshole.
It's an important part of the democratic process to listen to what people have to say. And yet, it always comes down to how much money someone has to keep the publicity wheels going, and less well-known candidates (or those who won't be bought by corporate interests) get less time to state their platforms. Not that anyone seems to care about issues much anymore; they just want to point out how wrong everyone else is. And for Edwards and Clinton to try and push these candidates to the side because they don't think people should take them seriously... it's just disgusting. It shows that they're not willing to listen, and they don't think everyone deserves to be heard. And it also shows that they're not necessarily certain they can win on ideas.
Anyway, I'm reconsidering Dennis Kucinich. I haven't been in his corner yet, but a lot of the bloggers I trust on this kind of thing (Blue Gal, Dr. Monkey) are. So far, Rep. Kucinich has shown himself to be a man of integrity, and this Edwards/Clinton thing... He had the guts yesterday to call Edwards out on a telephone interview, saying: "This is a serious matter and I'm calling him on it. Whispering, trying to rig an election, then denying what's going on and making excuses. It all reflects a consistent lack of integrity."
Edwards and Clinton were caught on a microphone whispering about trying to lessen the number of candidates allowed to take part in the presidential forums. And Kucinich probably took it personally, because he's polling low and there were only eight politicians involved in the program--Clinton, Edwards, Kucinich, Obama, Dodd, Biden, Richardson, and Gravel. Obviously, Clinton and Edwards feel they're the frontrunners and feel like the race should already be over in the minds of anyone paying attention. Which, I hope, is bullshit.
Kucinich sent a letter to both candidates challenging each to a one-on-one debate: "If you are truly seeking debates where there are fewer participants and where there is more meaningful and serious discourse, this is a great opportunity for us to join together in an open discussion on behalf of the American people."
Of course, that's probably not going to happen. No, instead Clinton is blaming Edwards, and Edwards is backpedaling.
What this really shows me is that I can't trust either candidate. Hillary Clinton I already despise. She was part of the PMRC, the only thing she's done as senator has made it more of a hassle for kids to buy video games, and she's as much of a closet Republican as Joe Lieberman is. And everything she does just feels so calculated. I know people who respect her because she was making cookies and forgave her husband for the Monica thing, but you know she only did it because a divorce would harm her political career. She didn't want to be the lesbian president. And she doesn't give a shit about New York, really; her role as senator has been to rack up experience points for her presidential bid.
As for Edwards...well, this is kind of slimy.
So, I don't know. Kucinich is looking better and better to me.
Dr. Monkey has a much angrier post you should read.
I will follow Amy Brenneman anywhere. Seriously, I've seen the entire run of Judging Amy, like, three or four times. And it's all because she got naked on NYPD Blue back in 1993. Remember that? Here:
Remember when NYPD Blue premiered, and it was actually groundbreaking television? There was nudity and swearing, and everyone handled it. Well, most people did (I remember my stepmom freaking out that I was seeing Amy Brenneman's gorgeous, flawless ass on TV). What happened? 14 years ago, a cop show had nudity and foul language, and it was seen as sophisticated. How did we go from this moment of being adults to "Oh my God, a black boobie! Save the children before they see it and know what a breast is!!!!"
Can someone explain that stupidity to me?
Oh, and thank you, Amy Brenneman. I love you!
Friday, July 13, 2007
I've been tagged by Piper at Lazy Eye Theatre with the Telephone Meme! And I think I'm only the third person to do it! Which is cool for my ego. Alan at Burbanked started a blog version of the old game telephone. Here are the rules:
1. At the bottom of your post, include your version of the statement, changed or not.
2. Pass it along to one single blogger.
3. Link your post back to the original here.
4. I'm going to start a fourth rule of linking back to the person who tagged you, just so you can follow the thread both ways: Piper.
And now, my sentence:
Cheese dip and nice cards, Joe Theismann, your cause would expect you to win my hand. I won't wear your materials until I warm to the Redskins or become something careening into Montego Bay.
Why Piper would say that to me, I don't know. Must be a Cowboys fan.
And now, I shall tag Splotchy.
directed by Andrew Niccol; starring Ethan Hawke, Uma Thurman, Jude Law, Alan Arkin"I got the better end of the deal. I only lent you my body - you lent me your dream."
152. George of the Jungle (1997)
directed by Sam Weisman; starring Brendan Fraser, Leslie Mann, Thomas Haden Church, Richard Roundtree"And so, onward and upward the tired trekkers trudged on feverished footsies on the perilous paths. When they beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, the reacted with awe." "Awwww..." "I said, 'Awe.' A-W-E." "Ooooh..." "That's better."
153. Geri’s Game (1997)
directed by Jan Pinkava
154. Gettysburg (1993)
directed by Ronald F. Maxwell; starring Jeff Daniels, Martin Sheen, Tom Berenger, Stephen Lang"But this war goes on and on and the men die and the price gets even higher. We are prepared to lose some of us, but we are never prepared to lose all of us. We are adrift here in a sea of blood and I want it to end. I want this to be the final battle."
155. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947)
directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz; starring Gene Tierny, Rex Harrison, George Sanders, Edna Best"I don't know anything about the sea, except that it is romantic." "Hmm. That's what all landsmen think. Seamen know better." "Then why do they go to sea?" "Because they haven't the sense to stay ashore."
156. Ghost World (2001)
directed by Terry Zwigoff; starring Thora Birch, Scarlett Johansson, Steve Buscemi, Illeana Douglas"We need to find a place where you can go to meet women who share your interests." "Maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests."
157. Ghostbusters (1986)
directed by Ivan Reitman; starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis"Back off, man, I'm a scientist."
158. The Godfather (1972)
directed by Francis Ford Coppola; starring Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Diane Keaton, James Caan"Luca Brasi held a gun to his head, and my father assured the bandleader, that either his signature or his brains would be on the contract. That's a true story. That's my family Kay, it's not me."
159. Gods and Monsters (1998)
directed by Bill Condon; starring Ian McKellen, Brendan Fraser, Lynn Redgrave, Lolita Davidovich"My life is a game of strip poker. Want to play?"
160. The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1974)
directed by Gordon Hessler; starring John Phillip Law, Caroline Munro, Tom Baker, Doug Wilmer"You pace the deck like a caged beast; for one who enjoys the hashish you should be more at peace."
161. Goldfinger (1964)
directed by Guy Hamilton; starring Sean Connery, Honor Blackman, Gert Frobe, Shirley Eaton"You like a close shave, don't you?"
162. Gone with the Wind (1939)
directed by Victor Fleming; starring Vivien Leigh, Clark Gable, Leslie Howard, Olivia de Havilland"With enough courage, you can do without a reputation."
163. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1967)
directed by Sergio Leone; starring Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Eli Wallach, Rada Rassimov"There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend: Those with a rope around the neck, and the people who have the job of doing the cutting."
164. The Good Mother (1988)
directed by Leonard Nimoy; starring Diane Keaton, Liam Neeson, Jason Robards, Ralph Bellamy"Leo lets me see it. He lets me touch it."
165. Good Night, and Good Luck (2005)
directed by George Clooney; starring David Strathairn, Jeff Daniels, George Clooney, Robert Downey Jr."To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost. This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box. Good night, and good luck."
166. Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1939)
directed by Sam Wood; starring Robert Donat, Greer Garson, John Mills, Paul Henreid"I thought I heard you saying it was a pity... pity I never had any children. But you're wrong. I have. Thousands of them. Thousands of them... and all boys."
167. GoodFellas (1990)
directed by Martin Scorsese; starring Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, Robert DeNiro, Paul Sorvino"One day the kids from the neighborhood carried my mother's groceries all the way home. You know why? It was outta respect."
168. The Goonies (1985)
directed by Richard Donner; starring Sean Astin, Jeff Cohen, Ann Ramsey, John Matuszak"Brand, God put that rock there for a reason... and... and I don't think we should move it."
169. Gorillas in the Mist (1988)
directed by Michael Apted; starring Sigourney Weaver, Bryan Brown, Julie Harris, Iain Glen"They think you are a witch." "They wouldn't be the first."
170. Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
directed by Isao Takahata; starring Tsutomu Tatsumi, Ayano Shiraishi, Yoshiko Shinohara, Akemi Yamaguchi"September 21, 1945. That was the night I died."
171. The Great Dictator (1940)
directed by Charles Chaplin; starring Charles Chaplin, Paulette Goddard, Jack Oakie, Reginald Gardiner"You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people. Now let us fight to fulfill that promise. Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men's happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!"
172. The Greatest Game Ever Played (2004)
directed by Bill Paxton; starring Shia LeBeouf, Stephan Dillane, Elias Koteas, Josh Flitter"Let me tell you something. I came here to win a trophy. And on the face of it Ted Ray or I should carry it off. Not for you, not for England, but for sheer bloody pride at being the best; that's why we do this. And if Mr. Ouimet wins tomorrow, it's because he's the best, because of who he is. Not who his father was, not how much money he's got, because of who he bloody is! And I'll thank you to remember that. And I'll thank you to show the respect a gentleman gives as a matter of course."
173. Gremlins (1984)
directed by Joe Dante; starring Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Dick Miller, Hoyt Axton"I warned you. With mogwai comes much responsibility. But you didn't listen."
174. Groundhog Day (1993)
directed by Harold Ramis; starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott, Stephen Tobolowsky"You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life."
175. Gunga Din (1939)
directed by George Stevens; starring Cary Grant, Douglas Fairbanks Jr, Victor McLaglen, Sam Jaffe"You seem to think warfare an English invention. Have you never heard of Chandragupta Maurya? He slaughtered all the armies left in India by Alexander the Great. India was a mighty nation then while Englishmen still dwelt in caves and painted themselves blue."
Alright, well, I should just start by saying that I'm not going to do a Throwdown this week. All the celebrities are on the beach and the political news is either uninteresting or pissing me off way too much. So, I don't have 15 random thoughts, questions, and observations for the week. But here are my links.
* Johnny Yen eulogizes character actor Charles Lane.
* Dr. Zaius has the Bangles!
* Neatorama charts the history of TV censorship.
* The Onion AV Club interviews Patton Oswalt.
* Top 6 Reasons Harry Potter Isn’t for Kids (Cracked)
* Apropos of Something has a review of the new Harry Potter movie and a poster for the sequel we're really dying for.
* Splotchy posted a Fun Boy Three video and wrote a new song for his Road Warrior musical.
* John reviews the Doctor Who finale and reconsiders the 10th Doctor.
* Exquisitely Bored in Nacogdoches has some neat film about the Doctor Who theme music.
* Which album cover Dr. Monkey posted is creepier? this one or this one?
* The 9 Most Meaningless Corporate Slogans (Cracked)
* Alli Side Effects in Layman's Terms (Jeff Kay's West Virginia Surf Report)
* Splotchy goofs on Chicago suburbs (trust me, it's hilarious).
* I Think I'll Drive the Kids Up To the State Park To See This 'Glory Hole' (The Onion)
Dr. Monkey on another corporate outrage, communicating with our leaders, progress in Iraq, and why George W. Bush should drop dead.
* Splotchy ruminates on who is still supporting Bush.
* Johnny Yen talks about the shameful way the office of Surgeon General has been treated.
Remember back in 1992 when Toys came out? And everyone was abuzz with how wonderful the movie was going to be? The triumphant reteaming of mega-star Robin Williams and how-the-hell-did-he-get-so-respected director Barry Levinson had an insane amount of people bizarrely excited about how goddamn wonderful the movie was supposed to be. It was one of the most anticipated movies of 1992, even with Robin Williams still suffering the previous year's embarrassment of Hook.
And then, like Hook, Toys turned out to be a dismal disappointment. Another movie where someone creates a boring, over-the-top, overly-exaggerated Babes in Toyland version of childhood and fobs on and on about the importance of holding on to childhood and growing up and all that other white-man-crawls-up-his-own-asshole garbage that self-important people make. Oh, and there was some shit about the futility of war. It was very bad. One of the worst movies in history. And all the people who were just dying for this slice of magic were forced to admit that they'd maybe jumped the gun.
Things are looking very 1992 these days, especially considering the unwarranted amount of early buzz this year's Night at the Santa Clause is getting. And hey, look -- a cast member of Hook!
I don't know, when I first heard of this movie, I thought about Troy McClure directing The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel. Only unfunny. But maybe it'll be better than Toys.
Still, my advice is to find yourself a copy of Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders. If you can find the version that ran on Mystery Science Theater 3000, you'll have yourself a good time.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
directed by Francois Truffaut; starring Oskar Werner, Julie Christie, Cyril Cusack, Anton Diffring"We burn them to ashes and then burn the ashes. That's our official motto."
127. Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)
directed by Michael Moore"Nearly seven minutes passed with nobody doing anything."
128. Fantasia (1940)
directed by James Algar, Samuel Armstrong, Ford Beebe, Norman Ferguson, Jim Handley, T. Hee, Wilfred Jackson, Hamilton Luske, Bill Roberts, Paul Satterfield, and Ben Sharpsteen
129. Fantasia 2000 (1999)
directed by James Algar, Gaëtan Brizzi & Paul Brizzi, Hendel Butoy, Francis Glebas, Eric Goldberg, Don Hahn, and Pixote Hunt
130. Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)
directed by Russ Meyer; starring Tura Satana, Haji, Lori Williams, Susan Bernard"I'm of legal age for whiskey, voting and loving. Now the next election is two years away, and my love life ain't getting much better, so how about some of that one-hundred-percent!"
131. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
directed by Terry Gilliam; starring Johnny Depp, Benicio del Toro, Gary Busey, Mark Harmon"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
132. Ferdinand the Bull (1938)
directed by Dick Rickard"He liked to sit just quietly and smell the flowers."
133. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)
directed by John Hughes; starring Matthew Broderick, Mia Sara, Alan Ruck, Jeffrey Jones"Live moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
134. The Fifth Element (1997)
directed by Luc Besson; starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Gary Oldman, Ian Holm"You're a monster, Zorg." "I know."
135. Finding Nemo (2003)
directed by Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich; starring Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Willem Dafoe, Geoffrey Rush"I have to get out of here! I have to find my son! I have to tell him how old sea turtles are!"
136. Fire and Ice (1983)
directed by Ralph Bakshi; starring Randy Norton, Cynthia Leake, Steve Sandor, Sean Hannon"The hell you won't!"
137. A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
directed by Charles Crichton; starring John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin"You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole." "How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?" "You're the vulgarian, you fuck!"
138. Flesh + Blood (1985)
directed by Paul Verhoeven; starring Rutger Hauer, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Tom Burlinson, Ronald Lacey"Let's see if this angel bleeds!"
139. Fly Away Home (1996)
directed by Carroll Ballard; starring Anna Paquin, Jeff Daniels, Dana Delaney, Terry Kinney"Broken promises are the worst. Better not to promise anything."
140. For All Mankind (1989)
directed by Al Reinert"Here men from the planet Earth first set foot upon the Moon, July 1969, A.D. We came in peace for all mankind."
141. Forbidden Games (1952)
directed by Rene Clement; starring Georges Poujouly, Brigitte Fossey, Francis Gouard, Berthe Dolle"Maman!"
142. Forbidden Zone (1980)
directed by Richard Elfman; starring Herve Villachaize, Susan Tyrell, Marie-Pascal Elfman, Gisele Lindley"Be nice to me, babe or you'll regret it. You are my hostage and don't you forget it. The night is early and there's lots to be done. Lets boogy now, come on, we're gonna have some fun."
143. The 40 Year-Old Virgin (2005)
directed by Judd Apatow; starring Steve Carell, Catherine Keener, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd"You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!"
144. Frailty (2001)
directed by Bill Paxton; starring Bill Paxton, Matthew McConaughey, Powers Boothe, Jeremy Sumpter"Sometimes truth defies reason."
145. Freaks (1932)
directed by Tod Browning; starring Harry Earles, Leila Hyams, Wallace Ford, Olga Baclanova"They're going to make you one of them, my peacock!"
146. The Frighteners (1996)
directed by Peter Jackson; starring Michael J. Fox, Trini Alvarado, Jeffrey Combs, Dee Wallace Stone"I gotta have an out-of-body-experience, and I gotta have it right now."
147. From Dusk Till Dawn (1998)
directed by Robert Rodriguez; starring George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis"Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"
148. From Russia with Love (1963)
directed by Terence Young; starring Sean Connery, Daniela Bianchi, Robert Shaw, Lotte Lenya"The first one won't kill you; not the second, not even the third... not till you crawl over here and you kiss my foot!"
149. The Fugitive (1993)
directed by Andrew Davis; starring Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones, Joe Pantoliano, Jeroen Krabbe"I didn't kill my wife." "I don't care."
150. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966)
directed by Richard Lester; starring Zero Mostel, Phil Silvers, Michael Crawford, Jack Gilford"You must never know what goes on in that house." "But I do know." "You do? Isn't it amazing."