Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Rest in Peace, Hunter S. Thompson


We lost gonzo this week... Posted by Hello

Monday, February 21, 2005

Joel Silver Is an Idiot (But Everyone Knows That)

News this morning is that Joel Silver is rimming -- er, wooing -- Joss Whedon to write and direct the much-discussed Wonder Woman movie. My question is: why? Why does everyone think Joss Whedon is such a genius? His comic books are, frankly, embarrassing. His television shows are boring at best, idiotic at worst. I never once understood the appeal of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It wasn't smart, it wasn't cool, it was in-jokes and irony. Irony is for writers who don't know how to be sincere or are afraid of emotions. And Angel... Christ, he did an episode where Angel was turned into A PUPPET! Firefly at least managed to take the prize for Worst SF Series of All Time (something I never though Space: Above and Beyond would relinquish, despite a hard try from Andromeda).

When Joss Whedon was being questioned over his rewrite of Waterworld, he was informed that jet skis can't run on crude oil. His response: "Guess what? YOU CAN NOW!" This is the language of a writer who has given no thought to story logic, but just does something because it's cool. It's an embarrassment that he is allowed to work with words.

Joel Silver says he wants Whedon, because Whedon "understands a type of female superhero." The problem is, he wants a Wonder Woman for guys, not one for girls. But no guy out there wants to see a Wonder Woman movie, give me a break -- they didn't want to see one about Elektra or Catwoman, either! Why doesn't he get, uh, WOMEN to make the fucking movie! Kathryn Bigelow is an accomplished action director -- she made Near Dark and Blue Steel, and hell, even Point Break has its moments. Strange Days is an SF classic! And since she's never going to get her Joan of Arc movie off the ground (unfortunately, because the script for Company of Angels is rumored to be stunning), let her take a crack at the icon of female empowerment. And let some women write the movie, too -- pair someone funny and smart like Tina Fey with someone who understands action. Instead of hiring someone who "understands" women, why not just hire women? I guarantee you they know about women than anyone else.

This movie just entered suck land. Maybe they can get Sandra Bullock, and fuck it up completely. Enjoy your sixth-place opening, losers.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

And Now It's Time for a Breakdown

Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it
A woo woo woo!

Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it
Never get it!

Enjoy Black History Month. Next month, we return to our regularly scheduled White History.

Sunday Hottie 3


KATE WINSLET Posted by Hello